Two tweets from @Dadsaysjokes on Twitter

25 More Dad Jokes That Are Delightfully Corny

Dad jokes are simple attempts at humor that contain predictable punch lines and corny puns. They're called dad jokes because they are the kind of jokes your super lame dad would make, of course. Expect secretly, everyone loves a dad joke! Sure they may be the epitome of lazy humor and anti-jokes, but at their core they are funny. They are sure to win a collective sigh, facepalm and/or eye roll from a crowd and even have the chance at a chuckle or two. There's nothing wrong with a dad joke, and the corniness and puns can be overlooked for the sheer wit and intelligence it took to come up with them.

Twitter user @Dadsaysjokes is the best place to go for all of the corniest, silliest, and most annoying dad jokes for you to tell at the next function. While there may be so many of them out there already, this user seems to come up with multiple new ones every day. There's no shortage of punny dad jokes around here, thankfully. Here are 25 of them that might make you exhale out of your nose a little faster today.

Just Not Right

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both "lefts". On the one hand, it's great, but on the other, it's just not right. 8:50 AM Jul 27, 2023 54.5K Views 53 Retweets 1 Quote . 551 Likes 11 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก ์†Œ

(Source: Twitter)

BBQ

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I got in line to watch Oppenheimer around lunchtime, but I realized it was three hours long and I was starving. So I went to the Barbie queue instead. 6:53 PM Jul 26, 2023 148.9K Views 203 Retweets 15 Quotes 1,624 Likes 48 Bookmarks 22 โ–ก ์†Œ

(Source: Twitter)

Ha

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A literalist takes things literally. A kleptomaniac takes things, literally. 5:25 PM Jul 26, 2023 89.3K Views 114 Retweets 5 Quotes 816 Likes 29 Bookmarks 27 R ์†Œ :

(Source: Twitter)

My Shelf

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I got hit on the head with a book. I only have my shelf to blame. 5:24 PM. Jul 26, 2023 68.7K Views 62 Retweets 1 Quote 541 Likes 14 Bookmarks 27 ๅฃ โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Swarm

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Why do bees stay in their beehive in winter? Swarm. 2:49 PM Jul 26, 2023 65.4K Views 42 Retweets 1 Quote โ€ข 489 Likes 10 Bookmarks 12 ๅฃ โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Just a Little

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside. 4:38 PM. Jul 25, 2023 119.7K Views 101 Retweets 3 Quotes 939 Likes 20 Bookmarks 27 Q โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Hmm

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Son: Dad what's an alcoholic? Dad: You see those four trees? An alcoholic would see eight. Son: But Dad I can only see two. 11:24 AM Jul 25, 2023 190.1K Views . 173 Retweets 3 Quotes 2,168 Likes 39 Bookmarks 22 โ–ก โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Come on In

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My neighbor knocked on my door at 2am this morning and said, "I can't sleep." "Well it's your lucky day," I said. "We've got a party going on in here, come in." 8:35 AM Jul 25, 2023 116.8K Views 84 Retweets 4 Quotes 1,145 Likes 29 Bookmarks 22 โ–ก

(Source: Twitter)

Icy

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes People have always told me that "icy" is the easiest word to spell. Now that I look at it I see why. 7:38 PM Jul 24, 2023 89.2K Views โ€ข 60 Retweets 5 Quotes 538 Likes 16 Bookmarks 27 Q โ†] ์†Œ :

(Source: Twitter)

Dang

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. That's how I knew we weren't going to work out. 4:00 PM Jul 24, 2023 118.6K Views 78 Retweets 8 Quotes 987 Likes 15 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก ์†Œ [โ†’ :

(Source: Twitter)

Dark Days

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I was once so broke I couldn't afford to pay my electricity bill. Those were the darkest days of my life. 4:00 PM. Jul 24, 2023 127.5K Views 141 weets 9 Quotes 1,504 Likes 27 Bookmarks โ–ก โ†‘ ...

(Source: Twitter)

Get It?

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I went to a costume party last night, dressed as a screwdriver. Turned a few heads. 3:59 PM Jul 24, 2023 109.9K Views 70 Retweets 2 Quotes 793 Likes 19 Bookmarks 12 โ–ก โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Technically The Truth

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes The police came to my house and asked where I was between 3 and 5. I told them preschool. 10:05 AM. Jul 24, 2023 100.9K Views 111 Retweets 3 Quotes 1,011 Likes 13 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Maybe Tomorrow

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's five years in a row now. 10:04 AM. Jul 24, 2023 133.5K Views 91 Retweets 3 Quotes 992 Likes 11 Bookmarks 27 Q (โ†’

(Source: Twitter)

Wow

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english. But he came back with nothing. 5:32 PM Jul 23, 2023 78.2K Views 52 Retweets 510 Likes 7 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

SMH

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I had the nastiest, rudest, slowest cashier today. I guess it's my own fault for using the self service checkout. 5:28 PM Jul 23, 2023 97.6K Views . 68 Retweets 2 Quotes 762 Likes 15 Bookmarks 12 โ†‘ : ...

(Source: Twitter)

Yuck

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath? Men toes. 3:43 PM Jul 23, 2023 99.3K Views 59 Retweets 1 Quote 584 Likes 23 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก (โ†’ : ...

(Source: Twitter)

Violins

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins. 3:42 PM Jul 23, 2023 80.1K Views 57 Retweets 1 Quote 414 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Mmm

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a mummy covered in nuts and chocolate... They think it must be Pharaoh Rocher! 3:40 PM Jul 23, 2023 78.7K Views โ€ข 27 Retweets 4 Quotes 318 Likes 11 Bookmarks 27 โ†‘ :

(Source: Twitter)

Good one

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Why did Dracula always bite women on the neck? Because he was a "neck romancer". 3:39 PM Jul 23, 2023 59.2K Views 28 Retweets 1 Quote 266 Likes 5 Bookmarks 27 Q โ†‘ ...

(Source: Twitter)

Life Hack

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I accidentally put my wallet in the freezer last night. It turned out to be a good thing, though. I really needed some cold, hard cash. 8:33 AM Jul 23, 2023 109K Views 76 Retweets 5 Quotes 746 Likes 10 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก ... โ†‘

(Source: Twitter)

Almost

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I've been working really hard on my spelling lately, My teacher says I'm almost their. 6:22 PM Jul 22, 2023 101.9K Views 37 Retweets 2 Quotes 543 Likes 7 Bookmarks 27 Q

(Source: Twitter)

Honest Mistake

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Yesterday I couldn't make out if someone was waving at me, or the person behind me. In other news, I just lost my job as a lifeguard. 8:20 AM. Jul 22, 2023 113.6K Views 67 Retweets 750 Likes 10 Bookmarks 27 (โ†’ :

(Source: Twitter)

Happy Birthday

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I took my pet fish to the chip shop with me the other day. I asked the man behind the counter. "Do you do fish cakes?" He said: "Yep, we do." "Good," I said, holding up my pet. "Because it's his birthday tomorrow.!" 6:33 AM Jul 22, 2023 66.3K Views 15 Retweets 252 Likes 2 Bookmarks 27 โ–ก (โ†’ :

(Source: Twitter)

Moles

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I went to the Skin Cancer doctor with a suspicious looking mole. CAT But he said, "They all look like that. You should've left him in the garden where he belongs." 8:18 AM Jul 22, 2023 ยท 71.7K Views 41 Retweets 5 Quotes 527 Likes 6 Bookmarks 22 Q : โ†‘

(Source: Twitter)




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