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screw that i'm picking c

Someone needs to have common sense in this thread. Apperantly it has to be me.
Goddamnit
A)

You decide to ask about the town. "So what's up with everyone? I was requesting help for my kingdom when they attacked me!"

The bartender clicks his tongue. "See, it's how you did it. Because of that, you're not allowed to be seen in the town again. At least… not as you are now. You need a disguise. But be wary… while commoners may not see through your ruse, Elders of the village will, myself included."

"And who are you? Why are you telling me this?"

The bartender twitches his nose. "I am RandomMan. I am one of the Elders. While I love the town I find some of the sheep that occupy it quite upsetting when it comes to new arrivals. Yes… the sheep here can speak. But they speak together. Never once straying from each other."

You think to yourself… a flock of sheep. Maybe something can be done about them. But you want to know more.

A) Ask about the sheeple. Do they… bleat off when they circle jerk? :3
B) Ask about the Elders. You must know who's dick to suck.
C) Ask about the other common townsfolk. Maybe they might actually be useful.
D) Ask about the bartender. How does a bunny get to own and run a tavern?
E) Ask about other newcomers. Maybe you can join the town and run them out.
F) Ask about the harlots. Why are they so horny and how do they give powers?
G) Ask about the merchants. Where can you get some better stuff?

A and D seem like the mot inflammatory, so I'll pick…A

Well, I actually might like seeing Lisa Lombardo, or myself, if you would be so kind, so,
E)?
Also, I might as well throw in D) as well

You ponder for a moment. "How does a bunny come to own a bar?"

The bunny smirks. "Get this… actually helping around the town does well for you. All the structures here are monuments that I helped build and maintain. Because of that, I'm very well-known around here. Well… others are too. But not as much as me!"

"Hmm… you seem pretty famous around here. Maybe you can help me out."

He shrugs a bit. "I can't. Got a good business set up. Although… there is one problem I do have."

"What's that?"

Before he can answer, the door to the bar is kicked open. You turn around, seeing a shadowy figure. As soon as it appears you see the bunny grimace. "…" You hear him mutter something but don't know what it is. As the figure steps forward, you make out what appears to be the cap of some officer. Then a trench coat on the figure. And finally… the figure steps into the light, revealing a purple unicorn wearing an officer's military uniform. She steps forward, the bar silent as the patrons watch her.

You see her glare silently at you, before turning to the bunny. "You are harboring a fugitive of the law, Randy."

"What law? As far as I can tell, shit posting isn't illegal in the Riff Raff side of town."

"Oh, you amuse me. Hand him over."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I take your bar and I burn it down."

No one makes a move. You think to yourself… what do?

A) Fight her! Down with the Reich!
B) Run away! Run, bitch, run!
C) Ask Randy for help. He might have better ideas than you.
D) Use your magic. You might burn it down, but at least she won't!
E) Ask Espurr. He seems to be thinking of something.
F) Ask the patrons. Why are they staring anyways?

E)
Maybe Espurr will stare at her and she'll go away?

F) Bar Fight! Bar Fight!

You think fast. You grab a drink, and toss the contents at a patron's face. "What the actual fuck!?" The patron stands up and rushes at you. He swings, but Randy quickly trips him over, landing on a table of two other patrons. The two, angry, turn to the table next to them, and start picking a fight with the patrons next to them. As if out of nowhere, the entire bar erupts into a huge scrap. Particle rushes to you three but a patron lands on her, pinning her for a moment. You don't waste the moment, and you, Espurr, and Randy run to the back room, locking it.

"We gotta get out of here!" Espurr shouts.

Randy nods. "There's a cellar. It leads outside of town. But…"

…but what?

"…it's filled with vermin."

"Like… rats?"

"No, rats are the nice ones. I'm talking about… trolls…"

"…trolls," you state, not believing this.

"Yeah. All led by the king of trolls…"

"Whatever, let's just go." You know that unicorn may not be subdued much longer, and the three of you go down the cellar.

It's dark… quiet… you hear a dripping sound deep within amongst what you think are barrels of liquor. Randy grumbles. "Probably getting into the booze…"

"Really? Trolls? I'd believe giant rats, but trolls down here?"

Randy nods. He reaches into the darkness, and retrieves a longbow. "Just be ready…"

You roll your eyes. "So where to?"

"There's two exits. One leads to the cavern, and one leads towards the falls nearby exiting town. But knowing the trolls, they're littering both tunnels. So which one do you wanna take?"

A) Go for the falls. This town has problems.
B) Go for the cavern. You can meet back with the dwellers.

A(yy LMAO)

B) the cavern. You still need to gather allies

Let's go with the B^)

I'm curious where the caverns lead to. Maybe to the troll nest in which case we might meet someone special.

B it is

Also voting for B.

You turn to Randy. "Let's head to the caves. I know the dwellers can help us out."

"Alright, sure, let's get going." He leads you down the cellar, until you reach the crossroads. You all head to the right. You try to feel your way in the dark, before Espurr begins to glow slightly.

"You can glow?"

"I can do a lotta things with this glow!"

"Sweet!" You travel through the dimly lit walls of the cellar, before you hear a sound…

Kek Kek…

You roll your eyes. "Nice try, Randy."

"That… isn't me…"

Forty… Keks… copy… pastas… feed me more…

You see it isn't Espurr or Randy making those sounds.

Whoosh! From the darkness, a figure hops towards you. It… looks disgusting… it has a very wrinkled face… formed into a permanent smug grin. "The fuck is that!?"

"Troll! Take it out!" Randy says.

A) Swing at it with your hammer. Ban it all to hell!
B) Have Espurr slay it. Use a flaming sword of Justice!
C) Have Randy shoot it with his barbed tips! Heh… barbed tip…
D) Use magic. Kill it with fire!
E) Use your shit posts. Feed it!

A. Ban all teh trollz!

E: Shit ALL teh postz

Give me the D)