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how about we start up another story? IDK what its gonna be about, but why don't we start one up?

It's called the "Ugly Barnacle." Once, there was an Ugly Barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

a story BESIDES the one kalmo made?

Since that one wasn't your cup of tea,

Jack Schitt is the son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced six children.

Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after childbirth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt. Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son named Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.

Bull Schitt just married a spicy little number named Pisa Schitt and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.
Now you can proudly proclaim "I know the true story of Jack Schitt!"

The Game

You lose. The end.

continue…
just no more patrick pic

No, they had not seen the end of the Patrick pic. No, this was only the beginning.

Then everyone died.

I honestly meant like one of those things like the huge KYM war u guys did a while back. but whatever

Well, I guess here is a weird story that came to mind one day.

James Bond: The Last Climax

Ok, so James Bond must save the world (again) but is captured by the villain. The villain then straps James Bond to a machine that forces him to have sex with whoever is there at the time. So the villain makes him have sex with the ugliest women in the world. His plan is to get them impregnated, gain James Bond's skills, and put chips in all of the children so they will be under his control.

At one point James Bond meets Neo, and they must fight. Neo starts shooting sperm at James Bond, and he does a Matrix move to dodge them, and then it does a close up of James Bond's face with a milk mustache.

But wait.

That's not milk!

(No, I was not taking meds at the time. I was just bored and it popped in my head.)

There once a member named Jack Daniel that want to start a story telling thread,but Kalmo has another idea.

And then this thread derailed.

It all started when our predictably heroic hero, Brian, woke up in a fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling exceedingly angered, Brian stroked a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Happy as a frickin' monkey, he realized that his beloved key was missing! Immediately he called his so-called best friend, Nelly. Brian had known Nelly for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Nelly was unique. She was ingenious though sometimes a little… oafish. Brian called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Nelly picked up to a very glad Brian. Nelly calmly assured him that most South American hissing sloths turn red before mating, yet albino cats usually indiscriminately turn red after mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Brian. Why was Nelly trying to distract Brian? Because she had snuck out from Brian's with the key only six days prior. It was a saucy little key… how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Brian got back to the subject at hand: his key. Nelly shuddered. Relunctantly, Nelly invited him over, assuring him they'd find the key. Brian grabbed his rhinocerus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Nelly realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the key and she had to do it aggressively. She figured that if Brian took the magic flying carpet, she had take at least eleven minutes before Brian would get there. But if he took the sedan car? Then Nelly would be abundantly screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Nelly was interrupted by eleven stupid polar bears that were lured by her key. Nelly shuddered; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling exasperated, she deftly reached for her gerbil and skillfully punched every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the sedan car rolling up. It was Brian.

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of dull pencils, so he knew he was running late. With a hasty leap, Brian was out of the sedan car and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Nelly's front door. Meanwhile inside, Nelly was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the key into a box of gerbils and then slid the box behind her giraffe. Nelly was concerned but at least the key was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Nelly earnestly purred. With a skillful push, Brian opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some clueless coke fiend in a rice rocket,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Nelly assured him. Brian took a seat tragically close to where Nelly had hidden the key. Nelly belched trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Brian was distracted. A few unsatisfying minutes later, Nelly noticed a clueless look on Brian's face. Brian slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'…What's that smell?'

Nelly felt a stabbing pain in her armpit when Brian asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the key right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Brian's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's carrots from when she used to have pet 3-legged wallabies. She, uh…dropped 'em by here earlier'. Brian nodded with fake acknowledgement…then, before Nelly could react, Brian skillfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The key was plainly in view. Nelly was so shocked she whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said “fresh” and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but she thought “Nah forget it, yo home to Bel-Air!” I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabbie “Yo homes smell ya later!” Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

I totally did NOT write this story. Because robots.

tl;dr