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Why can't we juuust...

Last posted Oct 11, 2011 at 04:46PM EDT. Added Sep 27, 2011 at 04:45PM EDT
34 posts from 23 users

I got hit by a car as I was walking to school late because my alarm clock didn't work and I failed every assignment I got that day because someone stole my backpack at lunch and dumped all my stuff in the trash, then I tried to get some lunch but I didn't have a money. Thinking that my day was as bad as it could get I asked a girl out for the lulz but she pepper sprayed me in the eyes (it hurts looking at my screen) and as I was rolling on the ground in agony I wondered why she was able to bring pepper spray and I can't bring big juggling clubs. then when i got home I found out my brother deleted all my games and music on my PC. Pretty normal day.

I took a shit. But not an ordinary shit. It was like that kind of supernatural shit that you only hear about in legends. It was an ordinary day, then, suddenly I needed to fart. I farted, but all that came out was shit. I had given birth to the almighty shitfart. A SHIT. AND A FART. BOTH AT ONCE. And people say that toilet humor is immature.

Subway Boss Emmet wrote:

I took a shit. But not an ordinary shit. It was like that kind of supernatural shit that you only hear about in legends. It was an ordinary day, then, suddenly I needed to fart. I farted, but all that came out was shit. I had given birth to the almighty shitfart. A SHIT. AND A FART. BOTH AT ONCE. And people say that toilet humor is immature.

I believe that is called a "shart". Not that difficult, really.

Subway Boss Emmet wrote:

I took a shit. But not an ordinary shit. It was like that kind of supernatural shit that you only hear about in legends. It was an ordinary day, then, suddenly I needed to fart. I farted, but all that came out was shit. I had given birth to the almighty shitfart. A SHIT. AND A FART. BOTH AT ONCE. And people say that toilet humor is immature.

Sooo…you did you take a dump, then sharted mid-dump?
Or did you take a dump, completed said dump, and then executed the shart when attempting a fart?
Or did the dump only come when you tried to fart and then immediately sharted?
 
What I'm trying to say here, guys, is that I'm thinking someone messed himself.

I just found out today I'm gonna be homeless, shit happens to everyone nowadays, time to man up like the other KYM members, and start freeloading off Wi-Fi.

Subway Boss Emmet wrote:

I took a shit. But not an ordinary shit. It was like that kind of supernatural shit that you only hear about in legends. It was an ordinary day, then, suddenly I needed to fart. I farted, but all that came out was shit. I had given birth to the almighty shitfart. A SHIT. AND A FART. BOTH AT ONCE. And people say that toilet humor is immature.

It's called a shart.

Subway Boss Emmet wrote:

I took a shit. But not an ordinary shit. It was like that kind of supernatural shit that you only hear about in legends. It was an ordinary day, then, suddenly I needed to fart. I farted, but all that came out was shit. I had given birth to the almighty shitfart. A SHIT. AND A FART. BOTH AT ONCE. And people say that toilet humor is immature.

Not so good for me, but could be worse, thanks for asking, OP.

Rainy day.
Missed a bus by a margin of 1 minute, had to wait in the rain.
Bought a salted egg and a coconut soda in an Asian market. Both tasted horrible.
Lunch was so so.
Still raining.
Lost a scrabble match by stupidly bad luck.
More rain.
Lost another bus by a margin of 3 minutes and had to walk home in the freaking rain.

At least my evacuations are not a source of concern for me.

@ Sweatie:

Why are you going homeless?

Last edited Oct 10, 2011 at 11:19PM EDT

Uploaded music to my Google Music account, watched "But I'm a Cheerleader," took a long, hot shower with dubstep blasting (which was amazing, by the way), then rooted an SCH-I500 and flashed MIUI 109160 (Android 2.3.5 base). All in all, an okay day. The only thing that would have made it better is more time for sleep.

Also, this caught my attention:

Bought a salted egg and a coconut soda in an Asian market. Both tasted horrible.

What the hell did you expect? Coconut soda? Salted egg? These are not edible. They are abominations the likes of which the culinary arts have never seen.


Buy a Pepsi and some fruit or something.

Last edited Oct 11, 2011 at 04:29AM EDT

Today's a slow day at work. Been mostly on KYM and Reddit. I want to watch the latest KYM episode about hipsters, but I can't download flash, and I don't have speakers connected to my office computer.

Major ಠ_ಠ.

Snarb wrote:

Uploaded music to my Google Music account, watched "But I'm a Cheerleader," took a long, hot shower with dubstep blasting (which was amazing, by the way), then rooted an SCH-I500 and flashed MIUI 109160 (Android 2.3.5 base). All in all, an okay day. The only thing that would have made it better is more time for sleep.

Also, this caught my attention:

Bought a salted egg and a coconut soda in an Asian market. Both tasted horrible.

What the hell did you expect? Coconut soda? Salted egg? These are not edible. They are abominations the likes of which the culinary arts have never seen.


Buy a Pepsi and some fruit or something.

Found pix to show what they were. Definitively an acquired taste, and I apologize if some people find them good tasting.

Yes, those eggs' shells are purple.

Last edited Oct 11, 2011 at 04:10PM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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