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Your name is Cale and you are a RIGHTEOUS BROTATO CHIP. You are in your room hanging out and doing nothing. You like Vidya, complaining, Cats, Military Science, wizards, may-mays, and the Internet. Oh shit it's also your birthday and you are expecting a Beta from the hot new game that /v/ will hate everyone is tripping shit about.

Shit this is boring do something already.

>inspect room

>complain about the game on /v/ to get attention

>give a good reason why we should help you

You appear to be in a room. Your room to be exact. The walls are beige, the floor made of grape juice, and every material object you own hidden in your mattress or Night stand which is on the other side of the room fuck you need to move that someday.

Refer to my previous post.

>browse r/spacedicks

>Find your arms

>Literally, try to suck the floor

Cast Fireball at your bed.

>Eat your hat.

>uncontrollably hate Chris

While you are loathe to partake in the 4Chans, you have nothing better to do, so you post a thread explaining everything, taking particular note to name yourself so that others can recognize you, as your sure they will love what you have to say.

Someone has checked their mail before you and acquired the Beta from his dad who works at Nintendo. You think this is total horseshit and silently fume for a moment.

>talk to one of your bros

Someone has checked their mail before you and acquired the Beta from his dad who works at Nintendo. You think this is total horseshit and silently fume for a moment.

>Doxx this someone and uncover his identity

>go to the liquor store

You don't know how to do that so you go ahead and do the whole Bro Chat thing.

>converse with a different bro
>also admire how room is becoming more detailed and vibrant

>Wax mustache
>Manscape
>Wash

That.

You actually made a /v/ thread for this.

That's fantastic.

This thread is now the best thread ever just for that screen cap.

>Depart on an epic quest to go beat up that Nintendo nerd and steal his beta swag.

>Retrieve Arms.

>Get into the persterchum coughcough I mean, IRC/MSN/Skype/Gtalk/FBchat and talk to your current friend who's having a bday.

>Attempt to conquer Denmark again

>Fall back in shock realizing that a self portrait of yourself came out of nowhere.

>Retrieve Arms.

Cast Fireball at your bed.

You found your arms. Both of them. Usually one evades you depending on the frame because reasons.

>converse with a different bro

>Get into the persterchum coughcough I mean, IRC/MSN/Skype/Gtalk/FBchat and talk to your current friend who’s having a bday.

…
You have no one to blame but yourself.

>Admire painting on wall

>Douse fire with urine.

>Get intimite with yourself as you admire the painting on the wall.

>Douse fire with urine

>Get intimite with yourself as you admire the painting on the wall.

>because it's a readily available fluid silly

>cast ice on the fire and put it away
>materialize new computer or admire debris

>Because you simply are a stud worthy of admiration.

>Examine contents of drawers.

Okay, your bed and computer are burning, so let's see what's in that drawer over there yeah.

What could it possibly be?

Deudly firearms

>shoot the flames in an attempt to extinguish them

>Ignore the flames and go outside with the gun in the backpack

>threaten the flames whilst holding the gun until they extinguish themselves

>Set yourself on fire
>Achieve super saiyan status

>log on KYM and start a new thread

>captchalogue gun
>jump repeatedly while wearing your underwear over your head for no specific reason.

>captchalogue gun

You go ahead and slip it into your Cale Deck, which isn't actually a deck at all, and is something of an invisible hyperspace satchel. It gets hard to remember if you have stuff. You can't use it anyway since you have no .45 Magnum ammunition.

>log on KYM and start a new thread

It might also be worth noting that your Spel Book in your Cale Deck does not contain anything that could remedy this situation (probably) and it might be best to go get help. Or not.

>Call your best friend Taryn through different means than an online chatroom and ask for advice, his knowledge in the situation at hand will certainly safe the day.

>Put out fire by smothering it with your body

yuo HAVE DONE IT

CAleQUEST solVed!!!!!! ur BIG HERO NOW??

>Cook marshmallows over the fire

>Abandon the household and take that painting with you.

>Turn on the lights…

>go to dresser
>open bottom drawer
>reach inside
>pull out fap magz

Ok
:-m. Go to the market and buy the best banana. Then go get the latest map to the next bar.