Forums / Fun! / Just For Fun

Your lack of item causes a rift in the thread, causing a black hole that sucks you in and launches you into the minecraft forum, where you are slayed whilst fighting creeper
My item: GLaDOS (no neurotoxin or turrets)

OK…
You run the Portal testing, and you haven't eaten anything in days, saving up for a certain cake she promised to you. After all that testing, it turns out…

You collapse on the ground… dead of starvation.
My Item: Katanas

You pick up a katana, thinking you are a clever ninja, when you actually don't know a thing about how to use katanas. You immediately slice your own leg off, and go tumbling down the stairs of death.

My item: EA

You live out life and eventually see.
[You need to pay $5 for your soul back.]
You try to pay and get banned for saying sim city was not awesome. You die without a spul and get stuck in limbo.

My item: a piece of gum

OH MY GOD THIS IS A CLASSIC.
You're walking down the street,when you see an out of control steamroller heading your way. You try running for it, but you're shoe is stuck to a chewed up piece of gum on the road. You're frantically trying to untie it but you're too slow….
Squish
EDIT: Sniper's Sniper

…
Items…
Why do people forget about items?
Well, my item is a parasol.

Your chasing after these two assholes who tried to kill you. You finally catch up to them after a fuckton of stairs and shit which are pretty hard to climb. Then that little bitch who tried to replace you hits you with her fucking parasol. Climb an even larger fuckton of stairs, get trapped for a sec, then break through the barrier and grab that bitch. Sadly, that bitch hit you in the head with the parasol and your still kinda dissy from it, especially after climbing all those stairs so you fall off the cloud and land on the parasol that she dropped when you fell off the cloud together. Fucking Oswin.

Item: Fusilli Jerry

Fusilli Jerry gains sentience, realizes it is the superior life-form, and starts its brutal takeover of the world by stabbing you in the throat with uncooked pasta.

Item: a dictionary

You go to the ghetto trying to teach people english and get shot.
My item: a spoon

You try to eat cereal but you jam the spoon in your eye socket so far it goes into your brain killing you instantly
My item: a copy machine

You find a copy machine thinking it would be funny to make butt copies. However, you slip into the copy machine and get crushed by the door. The machine prints out pictures of your corpse.

Item: Screwdriver

You know what's funny? Someone actually died in a copy machine.
You would of had LOOOOOTS of good karma if you watched 1000 ways to die.

Well, anyways, you try to fix a blender with your screwdriver. Insert mechanic stuff here, and the blade comes flying out because the blender was plugged. Your head is cut off.

I guess you could say that you…

( ∙_∙)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

were screwed up.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

My item: A golf trophy

You win the masters, but an enraged tiger woods actually turns into a tiger and mauls you to death with the jacket.
My item(again) the sniper's (tf2) sniper.

Look down barrel to clean, loaded, goes off, blows your whole face out the back of your head.

Item: My own arm

As you masturbate to whatever R34 you watch, your arm keeps going, even after you finish. You can't stop, and you jack yourself off until you rip your crotch off, bleeding out.
My Item: Big Boss (from Metal Gear Solid 3)

All of a sudden, you wake up outside of Groznyj Grad. "Wow, the human world" you ask to yourself, but you hear footsteps behind you. It's Naked Snake. He doesn't think twice before shooting you with the Mk II Huss Puppy and calls ParaMedic to ask about the taste. She thinks Snake is hallucinating, so he simply ignores what she said about not eating dogs or horses and…
nom gulp
Tasty
My Item: Fabulous Secret Powers

Whilst using your fabulous secret powers to do…whatever it is you do…when all of a sudden A CHALLENGER APPEARS! The opponent declares you to be inferior to he/she/it in every way possible. Angered, you challenge he/she/it to a contest and you lose in every single one, because it has had more training and experience with fabulous secret powers.
Humiliated beyond recognition, you kill yourself with said powers. The End.
My Item: A dead scorpion.

You see a dead scorpion and say "LOL a dead scorpion" but Manaphy comes and uses Heart Swap. Now you're dead and the scorpion is alive.
Item: My notebook.

You fall off a building, survive for the rest of the day, though you are severely injured, get stabbed by a paper airplane in the wound, and die.

Item: Paper airplane

You eat the cake.

Item: THE LIE

You heard about your friends surprise party at the meat factory so you go and no one is there. Then your friend comes and throws you in a grinder. You die.
My item: a silly walk

A silly walk? I hope a moonwalk counts…

As you moonwalk on a stage for a certain commercial, a stage light falls on your head. You miraculously survive, and keep moonwalking. You notice everyone calling for a fire extinguisher, and you wonder why. You smell smoke, and you then realize that your hair is on fire. Your head burns, and as your charred self rolls around the stage, you catch the last glimpse in life you will ever see… a Thriller dance, led by Michael Jackson, around your still burning corpse.

My Item: Every KYM user here…

We all ban you to the ban the user above you thread, where you are banned to the gap between dimensions. Ocarina of Time players will understand.
My item: a Carnotaurus.

The carnotaurus eats you alive.

My Item: A ring engraved with 18 swastikas.

You die from being 2deep.

My Item: Lucario

During a fight Lucario bitch slaps you with the back of his hand, but ends up piercing your skull with his spike.

Next item: a piece of tape.

Your tv breaks so you get some tape to fix it but on your way upstairs with the tape you fall down the stairs and the roll of tape gets lodges in your throat. You quickly drive to the hospital where you get hit by an ambulance and die.
My item: a dwarven army

You start playing LOTR Online and don't stop for thousands or years, when earth has become Middle Earth. You're so pale that you are mistaken for the white Orc and the dwarven army slays you.
(Iran, that Carnotaurus thing wasn't very creative.)
My item: every single level in super Mario 64.

Guess what? Here it is!

After beating every level of Super Mario 64, Whomp King, Big Bob-omb, King Boo, Big Boo, Dorrie the Dinosaur, some lava bullies, the Stone Hands, some ice bullies, the annoying monkey that stole your hat, Wiggler, a Chuckya, a Fwoosh, and finally Bowser all team up to work together to kill you. They ambush you, and as you desperately seek to escape, you see a red block. You laugh heartily, and hit it with all your might, and a feathered cap comes out. You grab it…
BUT WAIT!
You touch it, but nothing happens. You then remember that the monkey stole your real cap, so the power-up is useless! The villains all encircle you, and pummel you to death.

My Item: A Flugel Horn

You begin to play the flugelhorn and start to run out of breath. Your Nazi like instructor says he'll kill you if you stop playing. Your face turns red, then blue. Your lungs begin to shrivel up and you have to stop for one second. Because of that, your instructor stabs you.

My item: The Force and the Emperor's electricity (No Luke Skywalker scenes)

You finally found out how to use the emporers electric shock. So you go to your enemys house and shock him. As you turn around his father is there with a shotgun. You begin to shock him until he touches you causing a shortcircuit killing both of you.
My item: a sharpie

You sniff the markers too much. You die of pyrrolidone (the chemical that makes Sharpie ink dry) aerobic poisoning.

My Item: A strand of viral DNA

You want to create a perfect clone so you find the perfect person. You take his dna and unleash the epidemic of a new disese called, beieberfever.
My item: toilet cleaner wand thingy

You're taking a shower, when you notice your toilet cleaner thingy. Your curiosity drives you to stick it up your anus. The barbs on it tear into it as you take it out. You watch in horror as you bleed out in a pool of blood and shit.
My item: the Huntsman bow from TF2
I'm running out of ideas.

My Heavy from TF2 sits on your tiny huntsman bow and then flattens your sniper class ass. He then eats a sandwich while sitting on you.

My item: Ping Pong Balls (no choking)

You're playing beer pong, and a drunk woman says she wants to try something. You become amused at the woman's trick involving ping pong balls, and you wish to try it out for yourself. Long story short, you bled to death out of your anus and prostate…

My Item: Television Set

You're watching some television when suddenly the TV automaticaly switches to MTV on a program of random teen pregnancies, kids crying because they got a different colored Porsche than they wanted and that kind of stuff. This takes away any faith left in humanity you had, and you decided to punch the television. You punch through the screen, but when pulling your arm back, it gets cut open by the glass shards left of the screen. Some tiny glass splinters come in your blood circulation, and your vanes get ripped open from the inside.

My item: K'nex

You try to build the largest K'nex airplane, and use over 100 boxes of K'nex. However, when you're about to put the last piece, there's an earthquake and all those pieces fall on you. You can't breathe and die.
It's funny how I ripped many ideas from 1000 Ways to die.
My item: A GameCube controller.

I thought that was from the Fairly Odd Parents.

You play your Gamecube, playing Super Smash Bros. Melee, the greatest Gamecube game ever. You plug in the controller, and play a couple of matches. After a while, while you play another match, the grey control stick for the left thumb snaps as you use it, and it pierces your hand. You bleed, but not enough to kill you. Then, out of nowhere…

A random anvil drops on your head, finishing you off.

My Item: A Wiimote.
P.S. The Gamecube thing actually happened to me… and it hurt like hell.

You're playing some CoD online on your Wii. Suddenly, out of nowhere, some guy starts spraying at you with his AK-74u. You're a bit annoyed by this, but decided to continue. You lie down somewhere in the bushed with your sniper, to get some long range kills. Same guy attacks you, again with that weapon. This happens again for 3 times, pissing you off. After the fourth time, you can't take it anymore, and go full rage mode with the Wiimote

This rips you apart on the inside down below, bleeding to death afterwards.

My item: an eraser on the end of a pencil

The anvil death was the most random death in this thread's history…
Anyways, you bite the pencil eraser, but the pencil was actually one of those pencil guns. It instantly kills you by blowing your brains out.
My item: Pills.

You choke on your anti choking pills.
My item Wheatley.

Wheatley tells you to come back, and you do as he says. He asks you to jump to that deadly pit because you will find your parents, a french purse, the 3 portal device, handsome men with no GFs, a boat and a pony farm at the bottom. Since you have brain damage, you jump and fall to your death.
My item: Soup cauldron

You're teleported into the body of the dragon prince (GoT readers will understand) as your head is melted in a cauldron of soup.
My item: Space Invaders.

You step on a mine which launches you up into the air, you land on a trampoline in a yard which bounces you off into ANOTHER trampoline, then ANOTHER trampoline.
You bounce off and fall on the road in front of a car, the car hits you.
Suddenly comes the police, which accidentally runs you over.
ANOTHER police car runs you over after that, then comes the hospital van which runs you over too.

My item: Digital Camera

You FAIL!
That didn't have my item n00b!
I'll show you how it's done.
You're taking shots with you new camera, but then you realize it's not a camera, but a strobe machine.
You die of seizures.
My item: Creeper (Minecraft)

Your walking into the depths of Minecraft hell. You make it through every circle, and finally as your crawling out of the massive cubicle oriphous of that is Minecraft Satan's asshole, a Creeper appears and blows you back to circle one.

ANNND IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
My item: a brony

You disagree with his/her best pony. He gets mad and starts chanting in ancient tongues you obviously don't understand. Suddenly, a flash of light blinds you, and when you come to, you see Gilda flying at top speed towards you. She rips your eyeballs and you die.

My item: A beautiful, harmless flower.

It's the middle of spring. you look around. Then you smell something… Oh noes, its ur mortal enemy, Pollen! you sneeze and sneeze until a gray blob comes out of your nose. You sneeze out your brain and you die.

My item: its an grammer natzi!