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Tell Me Of Your Adventures, Young One

Last posted Jul 23, 2015 at 06:53PM EDT. Added Jul 23, 2015 at 08:41AM EDT
12 posts from 12 users

Know Your Meme is a thick series of wild pastors filled with dungeons, many secrets, treasures, and stories of friendship.
Perhaps you young travelers wish to recall your experiences in it's most mythical splendor? I'll cook up a meal and maybe a health potion for you before you come and go. But I am very interested to hear your tale.

Have a seat old man, cause this tale is about to knock your knickers off. The year was 1280, i was a wee little elf lad, and the son of the town's blacksmith. Me mum was a hunter, and a damn good one if i say so meself. She wanted me to follow in her footsteps and pick up me very first bow and hunt the boars as me mum did when she was a lassie. But me father thought it would be best to complete me education first, and i honored his wishes. One day, on me way to school, a large Orc son thought it would be funny to embarass me in front of me mates. The Orc's mates grabbed me from behind and the Orc tried to pull me tunic off. But thanks to me mum's self defense training i was able to squirm me way out of the grip, and I gave the Orc leader a fist to the gabba, yeah. But little did i know that this Orc was actually a prince of the neighbouring Orc village. That tosser told his daddy about it, yeah, and it started a war against the two villages. While all the war shenanigans was goin on, me father looked at me and yelled "What the hell, were you thinking you sofe lil shite!" And I tell 'im "He 'ad it commin dad!" And he replies "I know he did! Which is why if I were you. I woulda killed 'im!" Confused, I asked my father "wouldn't that 'ave made matters worse?" And he replies "Yes. But that would mean we'd 'ave one less Tattletailing Tosser like 'im around 'ere!" And we both shared a hearty laugh. Good times, Good times.

Last edited Jul 23, 2015 at 10:33AM EDT

This tale I am to give you old man will be a dull to most. It all began in the city of Edgeville, where I was given the task of slaying the most vile beast known to man, called the Golden WaterDog of Lake Whatsagoodnametocallit. The thing was about the size of 41 buffalo chops, and weighted about 5 Bloomberg fruit. I nearly died as it swung it's giant tentacle nose, but after 4 moons, I had finally slain the beast. After that was done I returned to Edgeville where I tripped on a pebble and died…

Last edited Jul 23, 2015 at 12:54PM EDT

Once upon a time, when I was a young peasant from the village that had no strategic use, I lived a normal life at my little farm. That's how was it like until on 6th of June in year 666, when the village was invaded by eldritch creatures that looked like an unholy fusion of a snake, ape, bull and a tiger. These mechanical creatures burned entire village to a crisp. Almost entire population was purged from the world. They suffered horrible deaths, which were too inhumane to describe. Only few escaped and one of the few was me. Only luck helped me. Fog gathered up on the destroyed village. When I was far away from my burning village, I saw a glimpse of, I swear to God, Satan. I was never scared more in my life. Fortunately, the Devil didn't saw me.

I didn't have time to pack up my things, so I travelled only wearing my working clothes. I walked all across the green fields, hills and valleys, following the Sun's path. I found an abandoned mine. Went inside the mine, curious for what shall I see.

Darkness. That was the only thing I saw because I didn't brought up a light. But that didn't stop me from exploring the mine from the what could the Sun shine. I found a box. Inside the box, there was a piece of meat. As soon as I grabbed the meat, Skeleton bursted through the floor. He had a light on his head. I stole his light and jumped inside a minecart. Skeleton chased after me. The railroad was bumpy and rusty. My minecart could barely stay on the tracks, but luckily, I escaped the Skeleton. Suddenly, the tracks disappeared. I was scared for my life. Then the minecart landed. It was a rough landing. My bones were nearly shattered .

I found a fountain. I drank the holy water. I started to glow. Out of nowhere, something transported me to hell. I found satan. I punched him in the nuts and everything evil was purged.

The end. Also I revived dinosaurs.

Well… it all started with a fight, I can't really tell you "why" or "how" because that's another story…
So anyway, I was so mad that I went outside and tried to run away, so I waited for a bus. The streets were deserted, it was sunny and the air was fresh, I liked it that way. Then there was this bus, one that I never seen before…
It came down the street, it stopped right in front of me and the doors opened. There was no passengers and I couldn't see the destination where the bus was headed nor the driver. It was suspicious as hell, but it was better than nothing. So, I stepped in the bus and tried to reach for my wallet, but the driver raised his hand and spoke in a high pitch voice: "You don't have to pay".
So, I took a seat and the driver turned on the radio and played: "I wanna take you for a ride from Marvel vs. Capcom 2" on loop. Then the bus started to drive and slowly lifted up to space. The driver then slowly turned around and looked at me…

It was a kid driving the bus! Then I saved the planet and have the best tacos I ever had…
The End

Last edited Jul 23, 2015 at 02:34PM EDT

It all started that night, when I received the call, that my wife was dead. I tried to drink away my sorrows but it didn't work. I then realized the only way to help with my sorrows was vengeance. I grabbed my M1911's and set to kill my wife's killers. I murdered all of them, even their families because anyone related to my wife's killers was damned to hell by me. I considered myself an angel, punishing the sinners.

This one time in elementary school, my friend Alex drank like nine chocolate milks and one regular milk. Then he threw up all over the place. What I found interesting was how the vomit was mostly white, even though most of the milk he drank was chocolate.

There was once there was a man from Nantucket,

His dick was so big he could to suck it,

He said with a grin,

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!"

Last edited Jul 23, 2015 at 06:55PM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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