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Aww yes, look at that fuckin' date! I've been looking for one of these for a long time. Now to decide what I should use it in…

this pun should be banworthy

make a dildo out of it :^)

that's a pretty big date

Careful, you wouldn't want to be a victim of

Ha, I have like two crates full of dates… Fuck thinking now, I don't think I'll eat 'em all…

this makes me irredeemably sad

HA!
HA!
HA!

Excellent Joke™ Friendo!

I bet you think you're better than me.

If you put it in the microwave, would it become a hot date?

I feel thoroughly rused and violated.

Make some Ma'amoul.

These are fucking delicious.

Never heard of them, but they look delicious.

Oh you cad what with your wordplay, and subversion of expectations.

For you.

Look at all the dates I have. Two words for you, son: Git gud

damn these dates are hot