Forums / Fun! / Just For Fun

Alright, everyone. It's time to roast everyone's favorite moderator(?).

Remember to be mean, and be rude, but be civil.

Make sure to make a joke and not use this thread to simply insult and complain. Insults are not jokes.

Edit: I'll unfeature the thread at the end of the week.

Why? He will be too drunk to appreaciate this…

Drunk is his default state, so maybe he will

Don't worry, he's soaked in so much alcohol, we can light him on fire and use him to roast the next guy

Why do they call him Captain Blubber? Is it because he is full of Fat 'n' Blubber?

hahaha srsly tho, i'm fat myself, so i can make this joke hahaha

okay really now, it's just a roast bro, there's a camera over there haha, haha subscribe to my YouTube for more epic roasts

I would like to participate, but I can't. He is too perfect for me.

I used to wonder 'who could stand to be on this site for 6 years'.

But then I realized that Blubber is so drunk, he doesn't even realize high school has ended yet.

@Bob

Actually it's because he hasn't finished school at all

That explains why his jokes are at a middle school level, also.

In his younger days, Blubber made appearances in a little known series known as Banjo Kazooie.
crowd cheers
He has since appeared in nothing else.
Not being able to swim, Blubber's role in the first game was to ask a bear & bird he's never met to retrieve his gold. It's not very much gold, and it's not very far away. It's still in his ship for God's sake.
You are without a doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
The seal from the ice level was more memorable than you.
But despite his constant failures and his current status as an alcoholic moderator on a meme site, Blubber can at least take some pride in the knowledge that the biggest thing about the Banjo Kazooie series was his ass.

But arent his jokes Elementary School level?

No, those are your jokes,

Sorry, I should save this for Yiffer's roast.

Captain Blubber has more failed relationships with women than GamerGate.

Even a Subway sandwich is a lot fresher than he is.

*steps back up to the mic*

They said he was fresh, but it's been a few weeks since then, so maybe he's EXPIRED?!?!

*drops the mic*

"Fucking degenerate nerds." [downs rest of beer] "I need to teach these little shits what the real world is like and how they should get a fuckin life." [opens new bottle and proceeds to rant about degenerate nerds on a meme forum using memes and jokes] "This'll show 'em they should find better shit to do than rant about useless shit on a meme site and make shitty jokes" [sips]

Remember the infamous barfing dog picture Blubber likes so much? There's a reason the dog puked as much as it did, and it's because it saw Blubber. Who did you think was holding the camera?

Bob, I think you forgot to mention that they're supposed to be funny jokes.

Blubber's face has caused droughts around the world as it's so unpleasant, it causes Mother Nature to dry up.

blubber smells

The only real funny joke here is Blubber himself.

Nobody's perf-

Seriously man? Fucking Canada?

So if we roast Blubber enough, do we get Canadian bacon?

Yeah, but making people laugh is hard though. Blubber hasn't succeeded yet.

Blubber, the edgelord extraordinaire!

It went all downhill as soon as he lost his tiki bar.

Now, Blubber is an interesting character.

Interesting in the sense that he uses chronic alcoholism as an excuse for his 3rd grade personality.

In fact, ever since Blubber's absence from KYM, forum productivity has drastically improved.

Maybe he's a self-proclaimed "captain" to make up for his lack of relevance anywhere else.

It's difficult to make a good joke when you know everything demeaning that would be funny is actually true with him.

"hurr durr im blubbye and im fresh ay lmao"

Give the ol' capt'n a break, a mod of his age shouldn't be given that much stress, you don't want him to get a stroke don't you?

i'm surprised already that he still lives with all that beer he drank, don't worry, i doubt he can walk that far to even get here, IF HE CAN HEAR US, THAT IS

But seriously, doesn't anybody have anything to say about him but the old cliches, ok he invented them but it's still not enough. What we need is stories about cringy acts he did. There must be some. I mean 6 years of experience, it can't be that he hasn't dropped spaghetti once.

Let's not forget this tho

He did it once…

Why'd Captain Blubber name himself after the worst side character in Banjo-Kazooie? I mean come on the guy is a cry baby in the first game who lost his gold by crashing his ship (probably drunk, guy only speaks in burps too) and can't be arsed to get it himself despite being a hippo, something that can swim well. By the second game he runs a shop so unsuccessful he'll sell you his stuff for ONE doubloon, and by the third I don't even remember what the hell he does because I barely remember what most side characters in the third game did aside from Mumbo, Humba Wumba, Grunty, and LOG.

Why'd this post devolve into talking about the game character rather than the user? Because Blubber is worst Banjo-Kazooie character and he should feel bad for using that name.

[awaits the inevitable easy as hell comeback at me from someone who mains Cerebella in Skullgirls and tells me "BEST PART OF SKULLGIRLS IS CEREBELLA'S ENDING AND YOU KNOW WHY!"]

The only thing "Fresh" about Blubber is the smell of dead animals eminating from his body

People like to roast Captain Blubber over his name since blubber is the fat of a sea mammal, but that doesn't work because he just eats all the roasts.