>be me in high school
>returning home after a long day
>bus won't show up
>hungry as fuck
>see popcorn stand
>buy some
>dumbass seller overfills the bag
>spill popcorn on floor by accident
>a whole fucking bunch of pigeons show up to eat the popcorn
>get idea
>convince mom to let me have a sick day
>next day
>buy a large bag of popcorn from stand
>go to former elementary school after 2nd period
>the whole school full of asshole kids in the yard eating lunch
>spill the entire bag all over the yard
>a fucking horde of pigeons arrive
>all push each other trying to get the popcorn
>pigeon shit flying everywhere
>literally no room for the kids to stand on
>kids that get in the way get pushed around and clawed
>kids yell in panic as the pigeons overwhelm them
>teachers and officials go outside to investigate ruckus
>run the fuck away
>mfw i terrorized the entire school with popcorn
Nobody Is As Ready For Pillowy Mounds Of Mashed Potatoes As Uncle Phil