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One day, Jake looked outside the window. what he saw was not human but humanoid. it vanished in a blink of an eye. his cellphone ranged. he then answered it. "hello?" he said. the voice on the other end whispered "look in your wallet" Jake dropped the phone and ran to his wallet. he opened it up and to his surprise $20 was taken out of it. his money was never heard of or seen ever again.

THEN WHO WAS WALLET.

THEN WAS NOT HUMAN.

all these mysteries and unexplained answers can be your's by calling 214-555-5555. if you call right now, we'll include coughing violently and audio and video distortion absolutely free. just pay shipping and handling

^
basically, your ordering your very own slenderman

Lol, I'm a slenderfan but I've never found fanfiction nearly as bad as that!

Then john freeman came out and blasted everybody with masheen gun. So the pants were dead.