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The "Say Something Random" Thread!

Last posted May 03, 2011 at 04:33AM EDT. Added Apr 11, 2011 at 11:21PM EDT
156 posts from 57 users

It all started when our over-heralded star, Boener, woke up in a bush. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling really stunned, Boener attacked a ripened avocado, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, he realized that his beloved diary was missing! Immediately he called his redheaded stepchild of a 'friend', Joe the Plumber. Boener had known Joe the Plumber for (plus or minus) 153 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Joe the Plumber was unique. She was smart though sometimes a little… stupid. Boener called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Joe the Plumber picked up to a very happy Boener. Joe the Plumber calmly assured him that most Indonesian devil cats panic before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually exotically shudder after mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Boener. Why was Joe the Plumber trying to distract Boener? Because she had snuck out from Boener's with the diary only four days prior. It was a curious little diary… how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Boener got back to the subject at hand: his diary. Joe the Plumber yawned. Relunctantly, Joe the Plumber invited him over, assuring him they'd find the diary. Boener grabbed his hippopotamus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Joe the Plumber realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the diary and she had to do it deftly. She figured that if Boener took the amphibious vehicle, she had take at least nine minutes before Boener would get there. But if he took the Oriental cheese burger? Then Joe the Plumber would be alarmingly screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Joe the Plumber was interrupted by five funny-smelling Dick Chaney.s that were lured by her diary. Joe the Plumber grimaced; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling stunned, she recklessly reached for her dull pencil and fearlessly stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Oriental cheese burger rolling up. It was Boener.

Last edited Apr 13, 2011 at 01:35AM EDT

Sweatie Killer wrote:

It all started when our over-heralded star, Boener, woke up in a bush. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling really stunned, Boener attacked a ripened avocado, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, he realized that his beloved diary was missing! Immediately he called his redheaded stepchild of a 'friend', Joe the Plumber. Boener had known Joe the Plumber for (plus or minus) 153 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Joe the Plumber was unique. She was smart though sometimes a little… stupid. Boener called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Joe the Plumber picked up to a very happy Boener. Joe the Plumber calmly assured him that most Indonesian devil cats panic before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually exotically shudder after mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Boener. Why was Joe the Plumber trying to distract Boener? Because she had snuck out from Boener's with the diary only four days prior. It was a curious little diary… how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Boener got back to the subject at hand: his diary. Joe the Plumber yawned. Relunctantly, Joe the Plumber invited him over, assuring him they'd find the diary. Boener grabbed his hippopotamus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Joe the Plumber realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the diary and she had to do it deftly. She figured that if Boener took the amphibious vehicle, she had take at least nine minutes before Boener would get there. But if he took the Oriental cheese burger? Then Joe the Plumber would be alarmingly screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Joe the Plumber was interrupted by five funny-smelling Dick Chaney.s that were lured by her diary. Joe the Plumber grimaced; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling stunned, she recklessly reached for her dull pencil and fearlessly stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Oriental cheese burger rolling up. It was Boener.

Just yonder, Boener was struggling to make his way through the imaginery desert behind Joe the Plumber's place. Boener had severely hurt his prostate during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Dick Chaney.s suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the diary. One by one they latched on to Boener. Already weakened from his injury, Boener yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Dick Chaney.s running off with his diary.

About six hours later, Boener awoke, his armpit throbbing. It was dark and Boener did not know where he was. Deep in the muddy swamp, Boener was alarmingly lost. A few unfulfilled decades later, he remembered that his diary was taken by the Dick Chaney.s. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a little Dick Chaney. emerged from the secret vineyard. It was the alpha Dick Chaney.. Boener opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Dick Chaney. sunk its teeth into Boener's shin. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Boener's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than ten miles away, Joe the Plumber was entombed by anguish over the loss of the diary. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened potato. With a careful thrust, she buried it deeply into her fingernail. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Boener… wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the diary that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Dick Chaney.s, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/

Last edited Apr 13, 2011 at 01:34AM EDT

Sweatie Killer wrote:

Just yonder, Boener was struggling to make his way through the imaginery desert behind Joe the Plumber's place. Boener had severely hurt his prostate during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Dick Chaney.s suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the diary. One by one they latched on to Boener. Already weakened from his injury, Boener yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Dick Chaney.s running off with his diary.

About six hours later, Boener awoke, his armpit throbbing. It was dark and Boener did not know where he was. Deep in the muddy swamp, Boener was alarmingly lost. A few unfulfilled decades later, he remembered that his diary was taken by the Dick Chaney.s. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a little Dick Chaney. emerged from the secret vineyard. It was the alpha Dick Chaney.. Boener opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Dick Chaney. sunk its teeth into Boener's shin. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Boener's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than ten miles away, Joe the Plumber was entombed by anguish over the loss of the diary. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened potato. With a careful thrust, she buried it deeply into her fingernail. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Boener… wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the diary that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Dick Chaney.s, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/

tl;dr

Captain Badass wrote:

MERRY TUESDAY!

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Santasia, Your a douche!
And NarWhalofDeath, i'm sorry for whatever shit i caused before now can you stop acting like a bitch?
And Oscar, Stop saying no one likes me, SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!!
and whoever keeps griefing me in minecraft, YOU SIR, ARE ONE BIG ASSHOLE!!!
woo, got ALOT out of my system.
oh, AND FRANK, stop acting like a dork, you are gross, stupid, and you are lacking proper etiquette!

oh also, WHY ARE YOU DUMB WHORES KEEP LIKING THAT ONE GUITAR PLAYER?
Sure he has an instrument, but that wont give him a college degree!
And that one rich white kid, stop flashing your ipad about AND STOP DRESSING LIKE A DOUCHEBAG!!!
Everyone at my school is either a dumb asshole or a douchebag!
WTF?

Skeletor-sm

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