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Sep 26, 2014 at 09:18AM EDT.
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Jacob walks into town and can see the city girls' ankles and knees
Jacob: that's NC, that's NC, Lord have mercy girl, that is N C!
At sunday mass, the preacher says to write the name of one of their enemies name on a piece of paper and then forgive them.
Jacob writes the letters D E R P Y V and then rips it to pieces
Jacob forced to wear hat outside because his bald spot screws up all the sundials
10/10 Most accurate thing I've ever read.
You forgot Melonlord though.
I heard that being Amish is quite the Paradise
Every day after dark, Jacob hides in the barn with his laptop so nobody in the Amish community will see him using the "new fangled" technology.
I don't know what's going on but I upvoted Blubbé anyway.
Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I hath seen the uncovered knees and shoulders of a woman to whom I am not wed. I had an argument with another man and was reluctant to turn the other check. I took off my hat to wipe the sweat from my brow. I realized my mistake, as this made many think it was time for barn raising.
I will plow twice the fields as the year last to help make up for these sins, and promise to continue only moderating KYM on my wagon wheel computer through my well trained mule and carrier pigeons, just how you intended.
Jill wrote:
Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I hath seen the uncovered knees and shoulders of a woman to whom I am not wed. I had an argument with another man and was reluctant to turn the other check. I took off my hat to wipe the sweat from my brow. I realized my mistake, as this made many think it was time for barn raising.
I will plow twice the fields as the year last to help make up for these sins, and promise to continue only moderating KYM on my wagon wheel computer through my well trained mule and carrier pigeons, just how you intended.
Refer to Don 4:13:
"And the Jesus said, 'Memes are shit. If I catch any of you meming you're going straight to hell.'"
Memes are sin! God hates memes!
[Blubber's Day With the Amish]
Blubber: Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one. Then, POW, all at once.
[Takes a drink from the bucket]
Jacob: We don't have a cow. We have a bull.
Blubber: I'll brush my teeth.
NSFW
>Jacob gets upgraded to Media Mod.
"Thank you lord for turning this simple male into a man."
>Jacob finally grows out his beard, as is tradition amongst the Amish.
Jill wrote:
Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I hath seen the uncovered knees and shoulders of a woman to whom I am not wed. I had an argument with another man and was reluctant to turn the other check. I took off my hat to wipe the sweat from my brow. I realized my mistake, as this made many think it was time for barn raising.
I will plow twice the fields as the year last to help make up for these sins, and promise to continue only moderating KYM on my wagon wheel computer through my well trained mule and carrier pigeons, just how you intended.
Wait, I thought Amish speak German, not archaic-ish English.
Krupam the Oldfag wrote:
Wait, I thought Amish speak German, not archaic-ish English.
They do, Pennsylvania Dutch.
My courier pigeons are bilingual
Oi vey.
Jill wrote:
They do, Pennsylvania Dutch.
My courier pigeons are bilingual
Well, my bad, apparently they speak both.
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