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[Moving Images] KYM Pony General

Last posted Oct 06, 2011 at 09:42PM EDT. Added Feb 11, 2011 at 03:26PM EST
9959 posts from 189 users

'Macho Man' Staz wrote:

if we're on the subject of names, anyone got any ideas for my (O/F)C character?
he's brown and has an acoustic guitar's sound hole and strings as a cutie mark

I think I want something music related but I'm stumped

Onepart (Twopart, Threepart, etc…) Harmony?

Cite wrote:

You need to check your grammar. A new paragraph needs to be added whenever a character is done speaking.
I'll type more when I've read through it all.

Read through it. My main complaint is the fact there's no paragraph at the end of whenever a character's done speaking. Also, Rarity doesn't say "Dah-ling." She says "darling."
Blaze strikes me off as a bit of a bitch, though this seems somewhat intentional.
Other than this, I liked it, and am looking forward to more.

Ideological the Vinyl Scratch wrote:

Here's what I've done so far. I'm sharing it with you now because I think you might find it very interesting ;)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XMMnoHwzC1eN3ciCMk3w5IOwKc0I67Z5hNuRCWO6Sjw/edit?hl=en_US

Uh, wow, okay. I know it was just a preview, but that happened fast as a bullet.

Ideological the Vinyl Scratch wrote:

Too fast?

Yeah, waaaaaay too fast.
…no offense.
It coulda been slowed down a bit, like Grace and AJ talk for a bit about… stuff, I dunno.

Last edited Sep 25, 2011 at 06:03PM EDT

Cite wrote:

Read through it. My main complaint is the fact there's no paragraph at the end of whenever a character's done speaking. Also, Rarity doesn't say "Dah-ling." She says "darling."
Blaze strikes me off as a bit of a bitch, though this seems somewhat intentional.
Other than this, I liked it, and am looking forward to more.

0. Chapter 3, I'll run through it, read it myself after I'm done tapping it out, and double-check it. Hopefully the grammurz will be bettar.

1. …"no paragraph at the end of whenever a character's done speaking?" So you're basically saying (to my understanding) that you want me to put distance between when two characters are speaking. I think I can do that. Try it for Chapter 3.

2. I was just putting extra emphasis on when Rarity says that. That practice is quickly getting killed and buried in the sea. I'll probably edit it out of Chapter 2 as well. (To be honest, Rarity's actually my least favorite of the mane cast, so I'll probably be having trouble writing her. But nobody can go without bumps in the road.)

3. Well… Blaze kind of is, but then again, after you're abandoned by your friends, don't tell me you wouldn't be jaded. It's also more or less a self-defensive measure, as she could tell they were probably a close-knit group and actually didn't trust herself to say anything else to Fluttershy, as she was unsure of what reaction she would have. Basically, tripping over herself. She doesn't want to screw up first impressions.

Aside from that, thank you for your criticisms, because it makes me a better writer in the end. Chapter 3 will be coming soon.

Ideological the Vinyl Scratch wrote:

Here's what I've done so far. I'm sharing it with you now because I think you might find it very interesting ;)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XMMnoHwzC1eN3ciCMk3w5IOwKc0I67Z5hNuRCWO6Sjw/edit?hl=en_US

Hokay… I'mma read this beeyotch.

cracks knuckles

My thoughts will be tapped out after I'm done.

Sparty the Spaceship wrote:

0. Chapter 3, I'll run through it, read it myself after I'm done tapping it out, and double-check it. Hopefully the grammurz will be bettar.

1. …"no paragraph at the end of whenever a character's done speaking?" So you're basically saying (to my understanding) that you want me to put distance between when two characters are speaking. I think I can do that. Try it for Chapter 3.

2. I was just putting extra emphasis on when Rarity says that. That practice is quickly getting killed and buried in the sea. I'll probably edit it out of Chapter 2 as well. (To be honest, Rarity's actually my least favorite of the mane cast, so I'll probably be having trouble writing her. But nobody can go without bumps in the road.)

3. Well… Blaze kind of is, but then again, after you're abandoned by your friends, don't tell me you wouldn't be jaded. It's also more or less a self-defensive measure, as she could tell they were probably a close-knit group and actually didn't trust herself to say anything else to Fluttershy, as she was unsure of what reaction she would have. Basically, tripping over herself. She doesn't want to screw up first impressions.

Aside from that, thank you for your criticisms, because it makes me a better writer in the end. Chapter 3 will be coming soon.

For 1., …well, lemme demonstrate using chapter 4 of my own story.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Stuff happened," I muttered.
"What kind of stuff?" Dash retorted back.
"Stuff! Just stuff! Grah!"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Whenever a new character begins speaking, you need to have a new paragraph. I probably could have worded it better when I first typed it.

@Ideological (still have no idea how to blockquote correctly… help?)
Yeah, that's what I mean.

Last edited Sep 25, 2011 at 06:09PM EDT

Cite wrote:

For 1., …well, lemme demonstrate using chapter 4 of my own story.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Stuff happened," I muttered.
"What kind of stuff?" Dash retorted back.
"Stuff! Just stuff! Grah!"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Whenever a new character begins speaking, you need to have a new paragraph. I probably could have worded it better when I first typed it.

@Ideological (still have no idea how to blockquote correctly… help?)
Yeah, that's what I mean.

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh.

I gets it now. I can do that.

I should also put links to the rest of the chapters in my stories… yeah, I think I'm going to do that.

EDIT @Aerostat: Yeah. I'm with Cite, seems a tad rushy. Though this is just a preview, maybe in the actual first chapter you could have AJ and Grace talk for a little bit. Even if it's small talk, it'll still make it feel realistic (for a given value of realistic, anyhow).

Last edited Sep 25, 2011 at 06:10PM EDT

Sparty the Spaceship wrote:

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh.

I gets it now. I can do that.

I should also put links to the rest of the chapters in my stories… yeah, I think I'm going to do that.

EDIT @Aerostat: Yeah. I'm with Cite, seems a tad rushy. Though this is just a preview, maybe in the actual first chapter you could have AJ and Grace talk for a little bit. Even if it's small talk, it'll still make it feel realistic (for a given value of realistic, anyhow).

Oki doki loki!

Dude! That was one awesome fic (for Story of the Blanks) I just wish it gave more explanation of what was happening and what happened to the ponies. If I was a better writer I would add some more explanation paragraphs. Like if she has a vision at the fireside.

Erin ◕ω◕ wrote:

Dude! That was one awesome fic (for Story of the Blanks) I just wish it gave more explanation of what was happening and what happened to the ponies. If I was a better writer I would add some more explanation paragraphs. Like if she has a vision at the fireside.

What kind of fic is it?

Cite wrote:

Going back on TF2, then some Borderlands afterwards.
Be back.

…you play Borderlands?

Please tell me you have a PS3 to play Borderlands on… pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

Sparty the Spaceship wrote:

…you play Borderlands?

Please tell me you have a PS3 to play Borderlands on… pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

I have it only for the xbox and computer :l

@Tesla: Awwww. At least you have the loot-shooter.

@Freakinator: Give me a few minutes. I've got one I can recommend, but I have to find it.

Ideological the Vinyl Scratch wrote:

What kind of fic is it?

It's a creepypasta to go with the game Story of the Blanks. It gets scary because you get chased but it is entertaining. It would make a nice real episode of it weren't as macabre, even though it really isn't.

@Freakinator: Here you go. If you haven't already read Progress then I seriously recommend you do. It's 6-Star over at Equestria Daily for a reason.

Linked to the FF.net version because I think it's easier to read through. I can link the EqD page for it if you'd like.

Sparty the Spaceship wrote:

@Freakinator: Here you go. If you haven't already read Progress then I seriously recommend you do. It's 6-Star over at Equestria Daily for a reason.

Linked to the FF.net version because I think it's easier to read through. I can link the EqD page for it if you'd like.

Thank you, you just cheered up my evening.

Sparty the Spaceship wrote:

@Freakinator: Here you go. If you haven't already read Progress then I seriously recommend you do. It's 6-Star over at Equestria Daily for a reason.

Linked to the FF.net version because I think it's easier to read through. I can link the EqD page for it if you'd like.

I should read that fanfic, too. I've been planning to read it, but forgot to do so.

00CLANK wrote:

It looks like coherent conversations occur on this thread, but I get emails every like, two minutes of there being 10 to 60 new posts!

Unsubscribe.

Ideological the Vinyl Scratch wrote:

Is that bad? Also, behold the awesomeness that is my new profile pic.

I prefer this one:

Cale wrote:

Did anybody else see this?:

https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions#!/petition/aid-lunar-revolution-overthrowing-oppressive-celestian-regime-equestria/cFXRkK0v

Long live the Lunar Republic!
Down with the Solar Empire!
Burn the heretics, purge the unclean.

Last edited Sep 25, 2011 at 07:32PM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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