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I, JACK CANDLE, FRESH-SCENTED MASTER OF ORANGENESS, UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE CITRUS.
BUT A FOOLISH HEALTH ENTHUSIAST WIELDING A MAGIC JUICER STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME.

BEFORE THE FINAL DROP WAS SQUEEZED, I TORE OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME, AND FLUNG HIM INTO THE FUTURE, WHERE MY ORANGENESS IS LAW.
NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO RETURN TO THE PAST, TO UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS JACK CANDLE.

This is the part where he kills you.

LONG AGO YET SOMEHOW IN THE FUTURE

I, WITCH-KING, WIZARDLY MASTER OF FELINES, UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE HAIRBALL.
BUT A FOOLISH LONELY TEEN, WIELDING A MAGIC SPRAY GUN, STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME.

BEFORE THE FINAL STREAM WAS SHOT, I TORE OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME, AND FLUNG HIM INTO THE FUTURE, WHERE MY KITTINESS IS LAW.
NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO RETURN TO THE PAST, TO UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS CALE.

In this thread, we find the one,
though all done for good fun,
the one we all argue to hate,
through names all called in false debate.
Those who stand so great and tall,
are not able to stop the fall.
And so we threw hollow insults.
While all was greeted with mixed results.

I, BRAND NEW MEMBER, SORCERER SUPREME OF THE FAG ARTS, UNLEASHED A UNSPEAKABLE SHITTY ENTRY.
BUT A FOOLISH YOUNG MODERATOR, WIELDING A MAGIC BANHAMMER, STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME.
BEFORE THE FINAL 1+ DEADPOOL WAS SHOT, I TORE OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME, AND FLUNG HIM INTO THE FUTURE, WHERE MY FAGGOTNESS IS LAW.
NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO RETURN TO THE PAST, TO UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS BRAND NEW MEMBER.

Im so sorry for double post but this thread has a lot of potential

I, GABE NEWELL, THE ALL SEEING LORD OF DELAYNESS, RELEASED A UNSPEAKABLE EPISODE 3..THAT WASN'T HALF LIFE!
BUT…A FOOLISH ANGRY CRITIC, WIELDING A MAGIC REVIEW, STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME.
BEFORE THE FINAL HAT WAS TRADED, I TORE OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME, AND FLUNG HIM INTO THE FUTURE, WHERE MY STEAM IS LAW.
NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO RETURN TO THE PAST, TO UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS G.A.B.E.N.

PIKA PI PIKA PIKACHU…

PI, PIKACHU, PI-PIKA PIKA CHU PIKA, CHU PIKA'D PI PIIIIIPIKACHU PIKA.
CHU, PI PIKA PIKACHU PIKA, PIKA CHU PIKA CHU, CHU PI PIKA CHUCHU.

PICHU PI CHUPI CHU PIKA, PI CHU KACHU PI CHUPI KA CHU, CHU PI PI CHU PIKA PICHU, PI PI KACHU KA CHU.
CHU KA CHU PIKA PIKACHU KA PI, CHU KACHU PI PIKA PI KA PIKACHUUUUU.

LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND…

I, SPIDER MAN, WEB SLINGING MASTER OF ARACHNIDS, UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE EVIL. BUT A FOOLISH DOCTOR, WIELDING MECHANICAL OCTOPUS ARMS, STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME. BEFORE THE FINAL WEB WAS SHOT, I TORE OPEN A MAGIC PORTAL IN TIME, AND FLUNG HIM INTO THE FUTURE, WHERE MY VIGILANTE JUSTICE IS LAW. NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO RETURN TO THE PAST, TO UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS SPIDERMAN.