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I leave how to word the hints to your discretion. If you make a guess, please add your own to keep the thread alive. (Words aren't working yet, I just woke up.)

GO!

The 7th president of the US squares off against ninjas, weapon spirits, and a tribal catgirl.

After some research, I'm guessing Samurai Shodown IV.

Simple vehicle acquires godhood.

Did some digging. Didn't find anything conclusive…

I'm going to guess: System Shock

Your party slowly dwindles until you meet your lonely end.

Darkest dungeon?
You play as a guy or a girl in search of another guy but not a girl and also everything wants to kill you

I'm guessing Fallout 4?
You have a gun and you kill things…IN SPACE!

Super Mario Sunshine, I'd wager.

A man and his domesticated animals massacre local flora and fauna to retrieve the man's lover.

P-p-pikmin. It's Pikmin right??

Criminal contracts AIDS but also unifies the parliament into stopping a mad scientist.

The Stanley Parable

A chaotic teenager goes around the city committing vandalism.

Jet Set Radio?

A Lego minifig comes to life and becomes a detective, but all his deductions make the mystery make even less sense than before.

No Man's Sky?

You have found a weird Gumball machine and tried to see if it still works. Your prize is a one way trip to the paranormal and the Omnitrix's distant cousin

Either ‘A Story about my Uncle’ or ‘Singularity’.

You fight robots, racists, and ghosts with a Disney princess at your side.

bioshock infinite?

you're a person who keeps on dying, but never gives up.

Hmmm… Dark Souls?

(Though technically, you are undead in that one…)

You save the universe from omnipotent artificial intelligences.

Sounds like it's coming from one of the Mega Man Zero games

I shot a Dictator in da nutz!

Sniper Elite

You go to the Himalayas, meet your stepdad, eat crab rangoon, and shoot some fucking guns.

Far Cry 4

You and your bros go on special missions and shit… IN SPACE.

Destiny

I fucked my cousin!

The Adventures of Bayou Billy

Killing nutjobs in a pre/early post ww2 Utopia after a clusterfuck with psychic powers.

I'm gonna say Psy-Ops

Boy turns into dragon, finds god, and kills her

One of the Breath of Fire games I guess

Young girl falls from sky, loses memory and with the help from a nurse, tries to find them

I'm probably really, really off the mark but Kingdom Hearts.
Dosh, dosh, and more DOSH.

Killing Floor

Doing meaningless chores that go awry.

Dustforce maybe?

This one's easy:

Insatiable omnivore stops evil eldritch horror while trying to get back food stolen by mice.

Sealed Evil in a Can?

A hero who boards down a San Francisco-esque street, and even gets chased by a truck.

It's either Sonic Adventure 2 or Pepsi-Man

A bunch of rejected Sonic OCs from DeviantArt team up to stop an evil alien cockroach from taking their giant orb that acts as a glorified battery.

hah xd it's the pepsi man game that's so crazy! who would have known!!!!

you get called by a guy to take a job working on a power outage and you respond by killing everyone at the house

edit fuck you gallantmon

i have no idea so im going to guess viva pinata or Starcraft 2

Hotline Miami 1

An evil floating gemstone controls who lives and dies, and what they do in a small town.

That must be The Sims.

A guy who loves catchphrases goes back and forth in time to stop the plans of a senile old man.

Darkest of Days?

FYS. KYS.

Persona 4 probably.

Also, just because, Gallantmon's game was Freedom Planet.

Lab rat wakes up and ruins everything again.

Portal 2.

A mechanic has a very bad day on account of having to hide from a killer space bug. Her best friend is fire.

I'm gonna guess Lara Croft.
You play soccer, but with Fire and magical hands.

DotA 2. I'm pretty sure of that, it's serois buisness.

You slay monsters there and anyone can (and will) be gay.

Skyrim?
You play a secret agent guy who needs to stop the Russian doomsday tank by eating small animals. And you fight Bee Movie, Spiderman, Old Guy, Fireman, and Spooky Man. And you beat up the Russian guy and fight Gun Lady at the end.

MGS3.

(@Scout: It's Professor Layton dood, he totes looks like a Lego guy)

An old man faces his greatest enemy: the world's longest ladder.

Leisure Suit Larry?

Also The Transistor guessed wrong so I'm gonna use the same game again

You have found a weird Gumball machine and tried to see if it still works. Your prize is a one way trip to the paranormal and the Omnitrix’s distant cousin

Sounds a bit like singularity.

You must assemble a team of brave seamen and fight off over sized sea food on boats and holiday destinations.

X-Com: Terror from the Deep

You're released from prison to a foreign land with unwelcoming natives

I;m gonna say something in Metal Gear

And pryo, the game I was describing was Yo-kai Watch.Do I get a prize for describing a game so badly it sounds like another game? :P

Now that i got that outta the way…

You play as an amnesiac with psychological issues, a love interest that dies, and a rival that is more messed up than the protagonist. Meteors and weather may be involved

Final Fantasy VII

(Also, I'm pretty sure the game ActivistZero was describing is Hyperdimension Neptunia.)

(And I'm pretty sure Sanity Vs Zombies was describing Morrowind.)

You and some friends set off to reactivate some ancient artifacts… again and again.

That's way too vague. That could be any number of JRPGs, and that's not counting other genres, of course.

Some kid burns everything he owns and then some.

Hatred?

You're naked and lost and confused and alone and there's a lot of rot around, but you're still happy.

The Binding of Isaac?

Local Man helps populate deserted neighborhood. Assisted by gluttonous idiot. Weasel population drops following explosion.

Animal Crossing?

A kid falls down a pit and now has to deal with various monsters.

Undertale

You're killed by your boss because you evolved too much, but then you're brought back, confused but angry.

Prototype?
You're an ordinary guy who has a very bad week.

Catherine?

Loser otaku has no money, so he gets himself a job as an assassin and has to kill ten other assassins with his homemade lightsaber. That and also try and get in the pants of this woman who's an agent for this organization of assassins.

No More Heroes

A sassy as fuck black policewoman must save the world from an evil cult trying to bring the apocalypse in a city that's suspiciously similar to New York

At first, I thought it was Bayonneta. But then, I realized it's Shadow the Hedgehog!

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O OO O O O O O OO O====
O O O O O O O O OO O OO O OO O OO OO O O O O OOOOOO
OOO O OO O O O O O O OO O O O O O O OOOO OO OOOO O
OO O O O OO OOOO OO OOO O OO OO O O O O O O OO OOO
OO O O OO OOO OO OOO OO OOOO O O O O O O O O O OO

Some terrible indie first person horror game filled with jumpscares, hence all the screaming (you really didn't give much to go with, buddy)

A baseball player jumps into a dimension full of spoopy ghosts and beats the shit out of them with his bat, a smiling cat is also involved.