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Just like I can play chess with my left hand.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Some people have trouble sleeping. But I can do it with my eyes closed.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Some people have trouble sleeping. But I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Deserves a raise

Found a plumber who works around the clock 10 11 12 8 4 7 6 5 3

Found a plumber who works around the clock 10 11 12 8 4 7 6 5 3

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Watt a positively charged switch!

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

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Don’t worry, I got this.

Home Depot: it'll cost an additional $150 for delivery My dad:

Home Depot: it'll cost an additional $150 for delivery My dad:

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Just a chill dad

Dad duties My dad waiting for my mom while she's shopping is a mood

Dad duties My dad waiting for my mom while she's shopping is a mood

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When all else fails, a picture of mom should do it

When you have to be creative to get your baby fed

When you have to be creative to get your baby fed

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Who else counted?

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Someone asked me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was... It was a complete guess, but I was right.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Someone asked me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was... It was a complete guess, but I was right.

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It's Cap Sized

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Today I learned if you turn a canoe over you can wear it as a hat... Because it's cap sized.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Today I learned if you turn a canoe over you can wear it as a hat... Because it's cap sized.

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Real

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Worrying works! More than 90 per cent of the things I worry about never happen.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Worrying works! More than 90 per cent of the things I worry about never happen.

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Took me a while to notice

Wanna know the difference between a UFO and a bad driver? Turn your phone upside down.

Wanna know the difference between a UFO and a bad driver? Turn your phone upside down.

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We are proud of you!

Dads when they see their kid perform. you're doing amazing, sweetie

Dads when they see their kid perform. you're doing amazing, sweetie

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“Nice to meet you, patient”

Sorry about leaving you waiting No problem doctor, I'm patient. @DadSaysJokes

Sorry about leaving you waiting No problem doctor, I'm patient. @DadSaysJokes

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Rare Daughter uno reverse card lol

Look, a flock of cows! Herd of cows. Yes, I have; there's a flock of them over there. @DADSAYS JOKES

Look, a flock of cows! Herd of cows. Yes, I have; there's a flock of them over there. @DADSAYS JOKES

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Got a little car-ried away there

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do we want? Racing car noises!!! When do we want them? Neeee00000000WWWWWW!!!!!!!

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do we want? Racing car noises!!! When do we want them? Neeee00000000WWWWWW!!!!!!!

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Quite impressive

My wife learned how to perpendicular park today

My wife learned how to perpendicular park today

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That is the question

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Breaking news: historians believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that once belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson said, "They're so badly chewed on the ends, we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B."

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Breaking news: historians believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that once belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson said, "They're so badly chewed on the ends, we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B."

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