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I'm not crying, you're crying. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26:34 No.628235434 > >>628236559 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say I'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >turn 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!!!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >turn around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours
Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26:34 No.628235434 > >>628236559 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say I'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >turn 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!!!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >turn around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours

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Anon has dump truck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/22(Tue)22:16:30 No.67548591 1603726133362.jpg 46 KB JPG >be dude with a big ass Is there a worse mode than this? How do you make it smaller I'm sick of lugging around this dump truck
: Anonymous 07/12/22(Tue)22:16:30 No.67548591 1603726133362.jpg 46 KB JPG >be dude with a big ass Is there a worse mode than this? How do you make it smaller I'm sick of lugging around this dump truck

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Anon falls asleep | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17 (Fri) 15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh I'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. : Anonymous >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. 09/29/17 (Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #
: noko...also the game 09/29/17 (Fri) 15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh I'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. : Anonymous >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. 09/29/17 (Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon gets bullied by mum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Mum bullied me today 07/05/21(Mon)14:56:38 197 KB JPG No.62435856 : Anonymous >be another day of lifting weights, cooking fresh meals, and relaxing >mum comes home from work at 8pm (she runs a law firm) >sees me on the couch, freshly showered after eating dinner >mum looks at me and starts going off >"So is this what your life's going to be, you go to the gym, come home, eat, sleep and s---? You're a f------ loser, seriously, a near 30 year old f------ loser, I had 3 kids and was running a team of 20 lawyers by your age, and all you do is lifting those f------ weights, you're a f------ loser" 07/05/21 (Mon)14:57:34 No.62435865 respond with "wagecuck boomer triggered seethe" etc >>62435870 # >>62436009 # >>62436047 # >>62436166 # >>62436297 # >>62436453 # >>62437278 # >>62437908 #
: Anonymous Mum bullied me today 07/05/21(Mon)14:56:38 197 KB JPG No.62435856 : Anonymous >be another day of lifting weights, cooking fresh meals, and relaxing >mum comes home from work at 8pm (she runs a law firm) >sees me on the couch, freshly showered after eating dinner >mum looks at me and starts going off >"So is this what your life's going to be, you go to the gym, come home, eat, sleep and s---? You're a f------ loser, seriously, a near 30 year old f------ loser, I had 3 kids and was running a team of 20 lawyers by your age, and all you do is lifting those f------ weights, you're a f------ loser" 07/05/21 (Mon)14:57:34 No.62435865 respond with "wagecuck boomer triggered seethe" etc >>62435870 # >>62436009 # >>62436047 # >>62436166 # >>62436297 # >>62436453 # >>62437278 # >>62437908 #

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Femanon is in a major need of help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /BF/ 49 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)13:33:01 No.852440529 I've never done one of these so don't get mad if I mess something up please neets >be me >18 year old girl (not posting t--- and not gtfo'ing) >prefers hanging out with boys but not enough to become a tomboy out of fear of dad thinking I'm a weirdo what do I do >hang out with boys because they are cooler >hang out with 1 boy more so than the other boys >develop feelings for him >he thinks I like him, which I do, so he asks me out and I say no out of fear of messing something up >he asks me why I hang out with him if I don't wanna date him >lie that I'm a lesbian for whatever f------ reason >he believes me >he starts looking at other girls >anger and jealously.jpg >feel like s--- >too scared to tell him that I actually lied to him
: Anonymous /BF/ 49 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)13:33:01 No.852440529 I've never done one of these so don't get mad if I mess something up please neets >be me >18 year old girl (not posting t--- and not gtfo'ing) >prefers hanging out with boys but not enough to become a tomboy out of fear of dad thinking I'm a weirdo what do I do >hang out with boys because they are cooler >hang out with 1 boy more so than the other boys >develop feelings for him >he thinks I like him, which I do, so he asks me out and I say no out of fear of messing something up >he asks me why I hang out with him if I don't wanna date him >lie that I'm a lesbian for whatever f------ reason >he believes me >he starts looking at other girls >anger and jealously.jpg >feel like s--- >too scared to tell him that I actually lied to him

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Anon whered you go | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKER ASNIGKERS SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNICKENS SNIGKEND, DIUNCIES MILK CILAT PERUT CARL SNIGRENS LE CHEERLATE PE MEX CHOCOLATS PLUS CA SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNIUKENJ SWIGKERS SNIUNEND SNICKER SNICKERS. ARE CHOCOLATE PERMITE CANANC Cucrand MAUM Cont ATERCAM BRENT TOI MLADIDESLATE PERRUTSEMARA ME TRAILE tratty YOUR OPERSITVEDAMIDA YUSZY LE ENCRATEPLASAR TULEE LEGE PASCA SNICKERS CandyWarehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold
SNICKERS SNICKER ASNIGKERS SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNICKENS SNIGKEND, DIUNCIES MILK CILAT PERUT CARL SNIGRENS LE CHEERLATE PE MEX CHOCOLATS PLUS CA SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNIUKENJ SWIGKERS SNIUNEND SNICKER SNICKERS. ARE CHOCOLATE PERMITE CANANC Cucrand MAUM Cont ATERCAM BRENT TOI MLADIDESLATE PERRUTSEMARA ME TRAILE tratty YOUR OPERSITVEDAMIDA YUSZY LE ENCRATEPLASAR TULEE LEGE PASCA SNICKERS CandyWarehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold

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anon is down atrocious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous @pep 59 KB JPG 10/27/20(Tue)16:59:14 No.838753945 Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. So if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you'd declaw a cat and then push your member into its feed chute. You can then let it subsist on your baby batter. The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without its beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you. Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half. The sensation creeps up on your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous >>838753945 (OP) # It's octopi View Thread 10/27/20(Tue)17:00:02 No.838754004
Anonymous @pep 59 KB JPG 10/27/20(Tue)16:59:14 No.838753945 Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. So if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you'd declaw a cat and then push your member into its feed chute. You can then let it subsist on your baby batter. The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without its beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you. Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half. The sensation creeps up on your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous >>838753945 (OP) # It's octopi View Thread 10/27/20(Tue)17:00:02 No.838754004

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Anon gets along with his roommate... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 178 KB JPG 05/18/21(Tue) 20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."
: Anonymous 178 KB JPG 05/18/21(Tue) 20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."

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Anon too average. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/22/21(Sat)04:51:45 No.855021956 >be me >stuck in purgatory >too ugly to be a chad >too attractive to be an incel >too out of shape to be a chad >too fit to be an incel >too weird to be a chad >not weird enough to be an incel >the stuff I'm interested in is too weird for chads to understand >the stuff I'm interested in is too alpha for incels to understand >I am forever stuck in limbo.
Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/22/21(Sat)04:51:45 No.855021956 >be me >stuck in purgatory >too ugly to be a chad >too attractive to be an incel >too out of shape to be a chad >too fit to be an incel >too weird to be a chad >not weird enough to be an incel >the stuff I'm interested in is too weird for chads to understand >the stuff I'm interested in is too alpha for incels to understand >I am forever stuck in limbo.

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Anon realizes that starlight is wrong | /r/Greentext

Anonymous name a more worthless bitch 269 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)22:49:55 No.170919821 >UGH homelander you're akshully Soooo WEAK >fine UGH go ahead and destroy the world, at least I'll have my head held high knowing I told you the truth about how WEAK you are >huey if we take homelander down, we HAVE to do it the right way, we CAN'T let innocent people die >*goes live on Instagram* >HI GUUUUIIIISSSSEEEE SOO000 guess what? homelander is like a totally toxic male who's threatened to kill all of you if I tell you that he's a totally toxic male that's threatened to kill all of you OOOOPSIEEE #freeMaeve >W-- SOLDIER BOY YOU'RE SO HECKING TOXIC >OMG EVERYBODY STOP HIM RIGHT NOW WE CAN'T LET A HECKING TOXIC MALE STOP HOMELANDER >WHEN HE CALLED HOMELANDER A WEAK P---- THAT'S TOXIC IT'S DIFFERENT FROM WHEN I DID IT OMGGGGG HUEY STOP HIMMMMMM
Anonymous name a more worthless bitch 269 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)22:49:55 No.170919821 >UGH homelander you're akshully Soooo WEAK >fine UGH go ahead and destroy the world, at least I'll have my head held high knowing I told you the truth about how WEAK you are >huey if we take homelander down, we HAVE to do it the right way, we CAN'T let innocent people die >*goes live on Instagram* >HI GUUUUIIIISSSSEEEE SOO000 guess what? homelander is like a totally toxic male who's threatened to kill all of you if I tell you that he's a totally toxic male that's threatened to kill all of you OOOOPSIEEE #freeMaeve >W-- SOLDIER BOY YOU'RE SO HECKING TOXIC >OMG EVERYBODY STOP HIM RIGHT NOW WE CAN'T LET A HECKING TOXIC MALE STOP HOMELANDER >WHEN HE CALLED HOMELANDER A WEAK P---- THAT'S TOXIC IT'S DIFFERENT FROM WHEN I DID IT OMGGGGG HUEY STOP HIMMMMMM

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Anon isn't a fan of women pilots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ww 07/11/22(Mon)15:19:56 No.881846018 Shaniquapiloty.jpg 35 KB JPG >>881844308 (OP) # >walk on plane >see a female pilot Go ahead and tell me you'd have a relaxing flight, I dare you.
: Anonymous ww 07/11/22(Mon)15:19:56 No.881846018 Shaniquapiloty.jpg 35 KB JPG >>881844308 (OP) # >walk on plane >see a female pilot Go ahead and tell me you'd have a relaxing flight, I dare you.

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Anon gets banned form Walmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)09:16:49 No.69358173 >got banned from shopping at the Walmart in my town because I talked to an employee too many times and eventually offered her a foot rub 19 KB JPG F------ hell. I thought she liked me but she was just being nice. Then she reported me to the manager
: Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)09:16:49 No.69358173 >got banned from shopping at the Walmart in my town because I talked to an employee too many times and eventually offered her a foot rub 19 KB JPG F------ hell. I thought she liked me but she was just being nice. Then she reported me to the manager

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Anon does a race | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:18:33 No.804456869 2 KB JPG >be me >yesterday >doing race to see if I could beat a record >some of the "runners" are in wheelchairs and only have to do 5 laps instead of 10 since it takes them so much longer >while running one of the wheely bois falls out of his chair and onto my path >two other runners stop to help him up and I didn't know weather to stop or keep running >in the end I kept running and jumped over his wheelchair and in a calm voice said "my condolences" >got a few boos but the guy in the wheelchair laughed >mfw I got 2nd
: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:18:33 No.804456869 2 KB JPG >be me >yesterday >doing race to see if I could beat a record >some of the "runners" are in wheelchairs and only have to do 5 laps instead of 10 since it takes them so much longer >while running one of the wheely bois falls out of his chair and onto my path >two other runners stop to help him up and I didn't know weather to stop or keep running >in the end I kept running and jumped over his wheelchair and in a calm voice said "my condolences" >got a few boos but the guy in the wheelchair laughed >mfw I got 2nd

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Memers taking over corporates | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775720450 704.8 kB JPG 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office
Anonymous | 775720450 704.8 kB JPG 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office

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Anon is feeling down | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 95 KB JPG 29 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous >>881868468 (OP) # ор >881870339 # I had a s--- day plz cheer me up :( : Anonymous >>881870282 # yes? >>881870415 # 07/11/22(Mon)22:46:58 No.881868468 : Anonymous >>881870339 # kill yourself View Thread 07/11/22 (Mon)23:23:50 No.881870282 07/11/22(Mon)23:24:57 No.881870339 07/11/22(Mon)23:26:25 No.881870415
Anonymous 95 KB JPG 29 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous >>881868468 (OP) # ор >881870339 # I had a s--- day plz cheer me up :( : Anonymous >>881870282 # yes? >>881870415 # 07/11/22(Mon)22:46:58 No.881868468 : Anonymous >>881870339 # kill yourself View Thread 07/11/22 (Mon)23:23:50 No.881870282 07/11/22(Mon)23:24:57 No.881870339 07/11/22(Mon)23:26:25 No.881870415

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Identity theft | /r/Greentext

File: tumblr_oc52ms290D1vp7u9806_1280.jpg (118 KB, 430x763) ■ /lgbt/ Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)13:30:35 No.26702203 [Reply] >mention to girl im close friends with that i want to try crossdressing (actually repper) >she is ridiculously supportive and asks for pics >do it and send to her >she is really encouraging even though I look terrible >later she asks for more risqué crossdresssing pics and I oblige >turns out she's been using my pics to catfish men for months >she just leads them on and asks them to describe what they'd do to her (me) >she has saved dozens of messages from tons of guys of how they would f--- me What level of aap is this Also what the F---
File: tumblr_oc52ms290D1vp7u9806_1280.jpg (118 KB, 430x763) ■ /lgbt/ Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)13:30:35 No.26702203 [Reply] >mention to girl im close friends with that i want to try crossdressing (actually repper) >she is ridiculously supportive and asks for pics >do it and send to her >she is really encouraging even though I look terrible >later she asks for more risqué crossdresssing pics and I oblige >turns out she's been using my pics to catfish men for months >she just leads them on and asks them to describe what they'd do to her (me) >she has saved dozens of messages from tons of guys of how they would f--- me What level of aap is this Also what the F---

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