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Anon really likes Gatorade? | /r/Greentext


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Anon rejects a woman | /r/Greentext

File: hqdefault.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) starting to make it Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)16:16:56 No.63516473 [Reply] ► FEMALE DETECTED >go out with decent girl from tinder >went pretty well, talked a lot >on wapp becomes distant, later tells me she got back with her ex >very sad but continue to simp for her, saying l'm only looking for friends AXTME >become depressed, stop messaging >rediscover Zyzz memes Two weeks later >she messages me out of the blue asking me to hang out >tell her I was lying when I said I was just looking for friends, actually looking for a relationship >tells me she just broke up with her bf >politely tell her to first get her s--- together and then bother guys who are looking for something serious, also than l'm in the middle of a workout FUARKK didn't imagine rejecting w----- felt so good, it gave me a monster pump afterwards. Female unattended = Body ascended we're all gonna make it bros! %3D
File: hqdefault.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) starting to make it Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)16:16:56 No.63516473 [Reply] ► FEMALE DETECTED >go out with decent girl from tinder >went pretty well, talked a lot >on wapp becomes distant, later tells me she got back with her ex >very sad but continue to simp for her, saying l'm only looking for friends AXTME >become depressed, stop messaging >rediscover Zyzz memes Two weeks later >she messages me out of the blue asking me to hang out >tell her I was lying when I said I was just looking for friends, actually looking for a relationship >tells me she just broke up with her bf >politely tell her to first get her s--- together and then bother guys who are looking for something serious, also than l'm in the middle of a workout FUARKK didn't imagine rejecting w----- felt so good, it gave me a monster pump afterwards. Female unattended = Body ascended we're all gonna make it bros! %3D

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Anon goes for a walk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/21(Sat)23:59:37 No.862886219 >be me >walking home from work on my usual route smoking a cigi >see couple with a stroller >they are walking pretty fast but im a bit faster 7 KB PNG >realise i wont pass them quickly enough and the baby will inhale my smoke >take different route
: Anonymous 09/11/21(Sat)23:59:37 No.862886219 >be me >walking home from work on my usual route smoking a cigi >see couple with a stroller >they are walking pretty fast but im a bit faster 7 KB PNG >realise i wont pass them quickly enough and the baby will inhale my smoke >take different route

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Anon does a meow | /r/Greentext

B6FOED22-1851-4A0C-921E-FFF2E8DBC242.png 238 KB PNG >walking down sidewalk >cat in neighbors window >meow at it >it meows back >12:45 AM >still happy about it How was your day anons
B6FOED22-1851-4A0C-921E-FFF2E8DBC242.png 238 KB PNG >walking down sidewalk >cat in neighbors window >meow at it >it meows back >12:45 AM >still happy about it How was your day anons

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Not again! | /r/Greentext

File: 10xbkevdmnn71.jpg (139 KB, 640x1162) O Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)15:03:47 No.863189646 H hee >be me >make a greentext >ffw 1 day >out in public tet te >bored >want to look at greentext but don't want p--- >decide to look at r/greentext >see a post with 20k upvotes >titel is 'House of the Rising Sun' t Pows eoned t da eno wwdtat ogs pyeos ag Ther rurge nta n I tim. M Fur swe retat etrutr betet a dmy he Whes gave m dany Whatde y tre >read it >w--? thats mine! Naut jat a what >they posted my greentext f--- you u/Johr pic related its my greentext
File: 10xbkevdmnn71.jpg (139 KB, 640x1162) O Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)15:03:47 No.863189646 H hee >be me >make a greentext >ffw 1 day >out in public tet te >bored >want to look at greentext but don't want p--- >decide to look at r/greentext >see a post with 20k upvotes >titel is 'House of the Rising Sun' t Pows eoned t da eno wwdtat ogs pyeos ag Ther rurge nta n I tim. M Fur swe retat etrutr betet a dmy he Whes gave m dany Whatde y tre >read it >w--? thats mine! Naut jat a what >they posted my greentext f--- you u/Johr pic related its my greentext

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Anon waits on black customer | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Working in a restaurant >Black guy sits at a table in my area >Go over do normal waiter stuff, whatever >He orders ribs and I tell him that the ribs 48 KB JPG are a good choice >"Yo all I did was order the damn ribs, I didn't ask no white boy for no opinions on s---" >Tell him it comes with a side >"This n---- seriously finna ask me if I want a side" >He orders a side of Mac n cheese >I bring his food over and say I'll be right back with a fork >"Ayo cracker l'm eating ribs I don't need no goddamn fork" >Tell him ok and apologize Have fun eating Mac n cheese with your hands you f------ n-----
>Be me >Working in a restaurant >Black guy sits at a table in my area >Go over do normal waiter stuff, whatever >He orders ribs and I tell him that the ribs 48 KB JPG are a good choice >"Yo all I did was order the damn ribs, I didn't ask no white boy for no opinions on s---" >Tell him it comes with a side >"This n---- seriously finna ask me if I want a side" >He orders a side of Mac n cheese >I bring his food over and say I'll be right back with a fork >"Ayo cracker l'm eating ribs I don't need no goddamn fork" >Tell him ok and apologize Have fun eating Mac n cheese with your hands you f------ n-----

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Anon deals with some serious shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)04:45:08 No.863192613 School recently closed all except 2 of the bathrooms because of the stupid tik tok s--- >be senior in high school p----- off about the bathrooms >yesterday I drive out to a local asian make your own stir fry restaurant after school (seniors get off two hours 136 KB PNG earlier than underclassmen and can come back to just hang out or whatever) >make a bowl that contains ingredients and sauce that will produce the foul s--- the human digestive system can produce >go to the walmart nearby and pick up a bottle of milk (lactose intolerant) >drive back to school >head to the unlocked bathroom >chug the milk all in one go >I sweat in pain as I push out what feels like viscous streams of molten lava as I blow a mt st helens in this toilet >as I recover, the other two waiting in line vacate themselves from the bathroom >I flush the putrid waste knowing damn well it won't go down >the bell rings as the hallway begins to smell like a chain of a--- bead shaped garlic is ripped from Wario's unshaven a------ They may lock up our bathrooms, but they'll never lock up our spirit
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)04:45:08 No.863192613 School recently closed all except 2 of the bathrooms because of the stupid tik tok s--- >be senior in high school p----- off about the bathrooms >yesterday I drive out to a local asian make your own stir fry restaurant after school (seniors get off two hours 136 KB PNG earlier than underclassmen and can come back to just hang out or whatever) >make a bowl that contains ingredients and sauce that will produce the foul s--- the human digestive system can produce >go to the walmart nearby and pick up a bottle of milk (lactose intolerant) >drive back to school >head to the unlocked bathroom >chug the milk all in one go >I sweat in pain as I push out what feels like viscous streams of molten lava as I blow a mt st helens in this toilet >as I recover, the other two waiting in line vacate themselves from the bathroom >I flush the putrid waste knowing damn well it won't go down >the bell rings as the hallway begins to smell like a chain of a--- bead shaped garlic is ripped from Wario's unshaven a------ They may lock up our bathrooms, but they'll never lock up our spirit

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I haven't seen Chris Brown in a while | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49141130 1 órával ezelőtt •. >Walk into biology class >Teacher has a bruise on her arm >Autistic spaz ask teacher how she got it >autism.mp4 >l scream out >"she got Chris Browned" >mfw when everyone is laughing >mfw I don't get into trouble 25,7 kB JPG 1 REPLY O IMAGES Anonymous | 49141950 25 perccel ezelőtt •.. >>49141130 (OP) The teacher didn't punish you because she felt sorry for you and took pity on you, because you are retarded. I was once a teacher and I would ignore the retards because I genuinely couldn't bring myself to make their life any worse than it was.
Anonymous | 49141130 1 órával ezelőtt •. >Walk into biology class >Teacher has a bruise on her arm >Autistic spaz ask teacher how she got it >autism.mp4 >l scream out >"she got Chris Browned" >mfw when everyone is laughing >mfw I don't get into trouble 25,7 kB JPG 1 REPLY O IMAGES Anonymous | 49141950 25 perccel ezelőtt •.. >>49141130 (OP) The teacher didn't punish you because she felt sorry for you and took pity on you, because you are retarded. I was once a teacher and I would ignore the retards because I genuinely couldn't bring myself to make their life any worse than it was.

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Anon's a scumbag | /r/Greentext

Okay here goes. >married five years >four years ago we bought a house together >six months later I start f------ the 369 KB JPG woman next door >wife and I are in our early 30s, neighbor is 26 >a year later neighbor gets pregnant >whoopsie >she doesn't want an abortion, says she will keep quiet and raise the child >she has a good job and her family has money so l trust her on this >she has the kid, a boy, kind of looks like me (gee I wonder why) >wife tells me neighbor has a baby >wife goes and meets neighbor and baby >wife becomes friends with neighbor and spends time with baby >we babysit when neighbor has to work late or spend time with friends >wife starts getting baby envy, wants one of her own now >"our baby can grow up with Anonette's baby and they can play together!" >two years ago wife gets preggo >it's a girl That was a little over a year ago. Currently: >wife and I spend an increasing amount of time with neighbor lady and my son >wife encourages me to spend time with the boy because "he needs a father figure" >we babysit for neighbor, she babysits for us >neighbor tells me that if wife ever leaves me she will be there for me (still f------ her)
Okay here goes. >married five years >four years ago we bought a house together >six months later I start f------ the 369 KB JPG woman next door >wife and I are in our early 30s, neighbor is 26 >a year later neighbor gets pregnant >whoopsie >she doesn't want an abortion, says she will keep quiet and raise the child >she has a good job and her family has money so l trust her on this >she has the kid, a boy, kind of looks like me (gee I wonder why) >wife tells me neighbor has a baby >wife goes and meets neighbor and baby >wife becomes friends with neighbor and spends time with baby >we babysit when neighbor has to work late or spend time with friends >wife starts getting baby envy, wants one of her own now >"our baby can grow up with Anonette's baby and they can play together!" >two years ago wife gets preggo >it's a girl That was a little over a year ago. Currently: >wife and I spend an increasing amount of time with neighbor lady and my son >wife encourages me to spend time with the boy because "he needs a father figure" >we babysit for neighbor, she babysits for us >neighbor tells me that if wife ever leaves me she will be there for me (still f------ her)

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Reeling in the years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)22:53:20 No.65399198 >make chadfish Tinder account to troll roasties >use Borat-esque persona with fake ESL and claim to be from Lithuania >it works because roasties don't 74 KB JPG know s--- about Lithuania and think it's some Balkan s------- like Moldova even though it's 34th in the world by HDI >ask every girl if she's a gypsy and get away with it because my pictures are a model >talk to this one girl, turns out she's actually decent and not a roastie >pretty cute, introverted >she's really nice and interested in my "background' >she has low self esteem and asks why I'm talking to her when other girls are prettier >I tell her she's prettier on the inside because she's virtuous >don't want to just unmatch because that would hurt her, but I don't want to lead her on with this catfish either This isn't fun anymore robots
: Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)22:53:20 No.65399198 >make chadfish Tinder account to troll roasties >use Borat-esque persona with fake ESL and claim to be from Lithuania >it works because roasties don't 74 KB JPG know s--- about Lithuania and think it's some Balkan s------- like Moldova even though it's 34th in the world by HDI >ask every girl if she's a gypsy and get away with it because my pictures are a model >talk to this one girl, turns out she's actually decent and not a roastie >pretty cute, introverted >she's really nice and interested in my "background' >she has low self esteem and asks why I'm talking to her when other girls are prettier >I tell her she's prettier on the inside because she's virtuous >don't want to just unmatch because that would hurt her, but I don't want to lead her on with this catfish either This isn't fun anymore robots

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Anon is sick of normies | /r/Greentext

Still astounded by normies "rationality" >be me >25 >Mom calls me up to say the garage door is busted and she needs a hand (I'm 5 minutes drive away) >Get there >Easy problem, just came out of alignment and needs sliding back back in >Go inside to get the work gloves >Come out and see that my mom has yanked it out in frustration, broken it, and made the problem a hundred times more difficult >She tells that she thought it was in the way and that's what was causing the problem >Be me >go visit my sister >Sister is going through financial trouble (strange as her and her partner earn the most out of our family) >Go upstairs into her partner's office >Literally filled with the $1000 each Lego Star wars sets all over the room >End up going into the kitchen >See a brand new cafe grade barrista machine >Sister tells me that she doesn't use it as they still make it better at all the coffee shops Why the f--- do normies not have an ounce of rational thinking? Those are just family examples, but I've seen similar s--- elsewhere.
Still astounded by normies "rationality" >be me >25 >Mom calls me up to say the garage door is busted and she needs a hand (I'm 5 minutes drive away) >Get there >Easy problem, just came out of alignment and needs sliding back back in >Go inside to get the work gloves >Come out and see that my mom has yanked it out in frustration, broken it, and made the problem a hundred times more difficult >She tells that she thought it was in the way and that's what was causing the problem >Be me >go visit my sister >Sister is going through financial trouble (strange as her and her partner earn the most out of our family) >Go upstairs into her partner's office >Literally filled with the $1000 each Lego Star wars sets all over the room >End up going into the kitchen >See a brand new cafe grade barrista machine >Sister tells me that she doesn't use it as they still make it better at all the coffee shops Why the f--- do normies not have an ounce of rational thinking? Those are just family examples, but I've seen similar s--- elsewhere.

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Weapons of Mass Devotion | /r/Greentext

: AnonymousE Dad getting a second wife 09/16/21(Thu)01:42:01 No.151896021 You non-Mena f--- will never know this feel >be me >mom and dad are happily married for 40+ years and have 5 kids 4 grandkids >dad suddenly says he's met this 37 KB GIF girl he wants to marry >she's a new intern in his office and is ten years younger than me same age as lil sis >mom and sis crying, bros angry >lots of shouting and fighting >dad shouts louder than anyone slaps my brother for getting in his face >says he's doing God's will and we should be happy for him >says he wants more kids too >threatens to cut us off and divorce my mom if we don't go along with his plans This is why we need feminism, my mom doesn't deserve this.
: AnonymousE Dad getting a second wife 09/16/21(Thu)01:42:01 No.151896021 You non-Mena f--- will never know this feel >be me >mom and dad are happily married for 40+ years and have 5 kids 4 grandkids >dad suddenly says he's met this 37 KB GIF girl he wants to marry >she's a new intern in his office and is ten years younger than me same age as lil sis >mom and sis crying, bros angry >lots of shouting and fighting >dad shouts louder than anyone slaps my brother for getting in his face >says he's doing God's will and we should be happy for him >says he wants more kids too >threatens to cut us off and divorce my mom if we don't go along with his plans This is why we need feminism, my mom doesn't deserve this.

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Britanon role plays free health care | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:19:11 No.65401880 Woioi lads listen to this >Come home from work yesterday >Wife lying seductively on the sofa wearing a nurse's costume >'I want to try a little role play' *Winks* >'Have a seat right here and the nurse will be with you soon' >Stare at her beautiful ass in short skirt as she walks out the room ffw 4 hours >Still waiting F------ NHS
Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:19:11 No.65401880 Woioi lads listen to this >Come home from work yesterday >Wife lying seductively on the sofa wearing a nurse's costume >'I want to try a little role play' *Winks* >'Have a seat right here and the nurse will be with you soon' >Stare at her beautiful ass in short skirt as she walks out the room ffw 4 hours >Still waiting F------ NHS

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Anon works at a helpline | /r/Greentext

23m (9/16 12:23) · 863184208 3 Re · 0 Img · JPG 49KB · (72O × 707) 3 Replies >be me >working at a call center for sexual assault victims >guy calls up, says that he was assaulted >we talk for a while, seems upset >he starts asking me questions >were you ever assaulted, when, how did he touch you, how did you feel, etc. >hear this m----------- breathing heavy, beating off on the other side of the line >hang up why are men like this. This happens to me at least twice a week.
23m (9/16 12:23) · 863184208 3 Re · 0 Img · JPG 49KB · (72O × 707) 3 Replies >be me >working at a call center for sexual assault victims >guy calls up, says that he was assaulted >we talk for a while, seems upset >he starts asking me questions >were you ever assaulted, when, how did he touch you, how did you feel, etc. >hear this m----------- breathing heavy, beating off on the other side of the line >hang up why are men like this. This happens to me at least twice a week.

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The eye of the needle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)00:34:56 No.65399995 >be me live in a city with a f--- ton of antivaxxers >they don't want to get the shot and restrictions are coming soon >find the CDC vaccine template online 29 KB JPG >print about 150 CDC unsigned cards for about 0.02$ each >find an anti-vax Facebook group by my city (filled with mothers and conspiracy theorists) >Join the Facebook group sell all of them for 5$ each >Profit Why is the us like this?
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)00:34:56 No.65399995 >be me live in a city with a f--- ton of antivaxxers >they don't want to get the shot and restrictions are coming soon >find the CDC vaccine template online 29 KB JPG >print about 150 CDC unsigned cards for about 0.02$ each >find an anti-vax Facebook group by my city (filled with mothers and conspiracy theorists) >Join the Facebook group sell all of them for 5$ each >Profit Why is the us like this?

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Anon has a great job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:28:34 No.784096989 Dream job thread? I'll start: >be me >from the day one i loved videogames and wanted to work on them in the future >worked very hard to get to good school 5 KB JPG >no life because of it but thought "f--- it it will be worth it" >graduated uni, one of the best students >looking for job >this one big company asks me to make video game >yaaaaas.phd >it's f------ blizzard >it's f------ diablo mobile How do i end my life?
: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:28:34 No.784096989 Dream job thread? I'll start: >be me >from the day one i loved videogames and wanted to work on them in the future >worked very hard to get to good school 5 KB JPG >no life because of it but thought "f--- it it will be worth it" >graduated uni, one of the best students >looking for job >this one big company asks me to make video game >yaaaaas.phd >it's f------ blizzard >it's f------ diablo mobile How do i end my life?

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