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Anon has the iq of a pea | /r/Greentext

50m (4/20 18:00) · 63308986 5 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 14KB · (320 × 218) 5 Replies S--- f--- s--- > Be me > Be in a group of three friends (me, a girl I have a crush on, a chad) > The girl I have a crush on doesnt seem to look at me that way > Im jealous of chad because he is over 6'1 and a beast in strength > Afraid of chad taking her from me > "Why do girls always have to like brainless chads instead of nice guys".png > Decide that if we all take iq test I can prove myself, I always brag about how smart I am on here and anons agree with me all the time > Suggest the idea for "s--- and giggles" > Mfw when both the girl I like and chad have higher iqs than me (chad being the highest) Am I just a waste of biological matter?
50m (4/20 18:00) · 63308986 5 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 14KB · (320 × 218) 5 Replies S--- f--- s--- > Be me > Be in a group of three friends (me, a girl I have a crush on, a chad) > The girl I have a crush on doesnt seem to look at me that way > Im jealous of chad because he is over 6'1 and a beast in strength > Afraid of chad taking her from me > "Why do girls always have to like brainless chads instead of nice guys".png > Decide that if we all take iq test I can prove myself, I always brag about how smart I am on here and anons agree with me all the time > Suggest the idea for "s--- and giggles" > Mfw when both the girl I like and chad have higher iqs than me (chad being the highest) Am I just a waste of biological matter?

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Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous' Dad 04/21/21(Wed)12:45:10 No.9585224 File: k.png (234 KB, 557x450) >>9585102 (OP) >Be me >14, so 2002 >Find out about a "Hole' " in bathroom wall >The part that fell off can be used to cover it >Hole's quite deep, could probably fit my whole arm in there >Decide to put piss jars there >End up putting a total of 4, could probably fit more but i got tired of pissing in jars >Close it >lt's a bathroom, so the smell of urine doesn't bother anyone >Ffw to 2018, going to put my daughter in the same school >Remember the hole, go check it out >There are 6 jars now
O Anonymous' Dad 04/21/21(Wed)12:45:10 No.9585224 File: k.png (234 KB, 557x450) >>9585102 (OP) >Be me >14, so 2002 >Find out about a "Hole' " in bathroom wall >The part that fell off can be used to cover it >Hole's quite deep, could probably fit my whole arm in there >Decide to put piss jars there >End up putting a total of 4, could probably fit more but i got tired of pissing in jars >Close it >lt's a bathroom, so the smell of urine doesn't bother anyone >Ffw to 2018, going to put my daughter in the same school >Remember the hole, go check it out >There are 6 jars now

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Anon gets robbed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous never thought I will be happy (...) 04/21/21(Wed)15:35:59 No.63316554 >Be me yesterday >its morning >late to work, so rushing through my morning routine >show up 15 minutes late, boss is angry but idc 865 KB JPG >leave office hours later >drive up to my driveway >s--- I left the garage door open >not really bothered bc I live in a nice neighborhood, and nothing was unusual at first >go inside and get dirty clothes for a quick wash, before I eat dinner >get back to the garage >mfw can't find my washing machine >mfw they took my 10 year old grimy shitwasher instead of the 200$ toolbox Thank you unknown thief, had to get rid of that washer years ago, now I can finally get a new one
: Anonymous never thought I will be happy (...) 04/21/21(Wed)15:35:59 No.63316554 >Be me yesterday >its morning >late to work, so rushing through my morning routine >show up 15 minutes late, boss is angry but idc 865 KB JPG >leave office hours later >drive up to my driveway >s--- I left the garage door open >not really bothered bc I live in a nice neighborhood, and nothing was unusual at first >go inside and get dirty clothes for a quick wash, before I eat dinner >get back to the garage >mfw can't find my washing machine >mfw they took my 10 year old grimy shitwasher instead of the 200$ toolbox Thank you unknown thief, had to get rid of that washer years ago, now I can finally get a new one

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Anon is a musical prodegy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)11:23:21 No.852613778 >online music class >never pay attention >never practice >Do random s--- with drum when we have a exam >mfw i have 100% 60 KB JPG Am i a prodegy?
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)11:23:21 No.852613778 >online music class >never pay attention >never practice >Do random s--- with drum when we have a exam >mfw i have 100% 60 KB JPG Am i a prodegy?

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Anon prefers the old fashion way | /r/Greentext

>had sex with my bf last night| >sort of >he's very against "sluts" >thinks women should be virgins bla bla >so whatever i lied >anyway he was the worst lay i 8 KB JPG ever had in my life >d--- was small yes but i've had small guys who made up for it in other ways >he f----- me for about 20 minutes >on and off because he didn't have stamina and needed to rest a bunch >it became clear he wasn't going to come from intercourse >told him to just j------- >so he grabs his c--- ridiculously tight like he was trying to strangle it >shouts "mommy" as he comes >mfw
>had sex with my bf last night| >sort of >he's very against "sluts" >thinks women should be virgins bla bla >so whatever i lied >anyway he was the worst lay i 8 KB JPG ever had in my life >d--- was small yes but i've had small guys who made up for it in other ways >he f----- me for about 20 minutes >on and off because he didn't have stamina and needed to rest a bunch >it became clear he wasn't going to come from intercourse >told him to just j------- >so he grabs his c--- ridiculously tight like he was trying to strangle it >shouts "mommy" as he comes >mfw

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Anon has an accident. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:06:02 No.63318651 f---. > Be masturbating to some weird s---, as usual. > Realize that the c-- is here. > Way quicker than usual, it only took like f------ 30 seconds. > C--. > It felt weird, not as good as usual. 69 KB JPG > But c-- a lot. > Begin cleaning up. > Realize that it's way too liquid and not slimy at all. > It doesn't smell like c--. > It doesnt look like c--. I just p----- myself.
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:06:02 No.63318651 f---. > Be masturbating to some weird s---, as usual. > Realize that the c-- is here. > Way quicker than usual, it only took like f------ 30 seconds. > C--. > It felt weird, not as good as usual. 69 KB JPG > But c-- a lot. > Begin cleaning up. > Realize that it's way too liquid and not slimy at all. > It doesn't smell like c--. > It doesnt look like c--. I just p----- myself.

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Anon attempts something | /r/Greentext

DC8744CE-8D71-478B-8ECD-28667ABC6618.jpg 96 KB JPG I'm gonna walk into McDonald's with this hat on and convince some workers that the holocaust didn't happen. Wish me luck
DC8744CE-8D71-478B-8ECD-28667ABC6618.jpg 96 KB JPG I'm gonna walk into McDonald's with this hat on and convince some workers that the holocaust didn't happen. Wish me luck

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Anon admires Hank Hill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him 51 KB PNG in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?
: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him 51 KB PNG in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?

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Anon is living the dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)22:56:22 No.791764886 > be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God l'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)22:56:22 No.791764886 > be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God l'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG

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Anon receives sympathy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/10/19(Sun)21:11:45 No.51389710 >be me an hour ago >Working minimum wage >GF wants pizza >Have a $5 and some quarters >Go to local pizza shop >Order 8 KB JPG >Only $10 >Fuckyeah.jpg >Go to pay >Start pulling out quarters >Last few are stuck wrapped up in my pocket >Struggling >Sweating.jpg >Owner walks over >"Just give him the pizza he needs it" >Tell him I can give him the money >"No no bless your soul you can keep it" >Leave with pizza >Mfw he thought I was homeless What do, do I never go back or just tip him next time I go in
: Anonymous 03/10/19(Sun)21:11:45 No.51389710 >be me an hour ago >Working minimum wage >GF wants pizza >Have a $5 and some quarters >Go to local pizza shop >Order 8 KB JPG >Only $10 >Fuckyeah.jpg >Go to pay >Start pulling out quarters >Last few are stuck wrapped up in my pocket >Struggling >Sweating.jpg >Owner walks over >"Just give him the pizza he needs it" >Tell him I can give him the money >"No no bless your soul you can keep it" >Leave with pizza >Mfw he thought I was homeless What do, do I never go back or just tip him next time I go in

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Anon plays life in easy mode | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)13:02:41 No.852312007 >be me college student >businessmajor.jpeg >f------ easiest major never have homework >see my friends struggling w stem and nursing classes 123 KB JPG >getfucked.png >land paid internship at business management firm >get job experience >get salary job immediately after college >never did any work friends still struggling to find jobs >I win
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)13:02:41 No.852312007 >be me college student >businessmajor.jpeg >f------ easiest major never have homework >see my friends struggling w stem and nursing classes 123 KB JPG >getfucked.png >land paid internship at business management firm >get job experience >get salary job immediately after college >never did any work friends still struggling to find jobs >I win

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Anon is insane | /r/Greentext

File: 4465-d32 ing (8 KB, 220x266) Anonymous (ID: WN3STSO) 06/03/20(Wedy06.02:52 No 10450092 2104510R1 2219451103 1451232 10451525 1451las ??? O Anonymous (ID: CHSWITOW) I-1 06/03/20(Wed)06.04:11 No 10450094 > w-wait what are you doing??? think about this for a secondi that's your thumbl O Anonymous (iD: SAMGRGyT)= 06/03/20(Wedj06:27:10 No. 10450136 dude, go post gore on /b/ please O Anonymous (ID: ME) 06/03/20(Wedj06:30:51 No 10450142 File: fas. gif (644 KB, 500x375) NO NO NONONONONO NON ON NON NON NO NO NO NO NO NO ql 1 O Anonymous (ID: WSSTSO) 06/03/20(Wed)06:36 35 No 10450167 10450192 104505S6 10458 a1045AS71 10451993 10451103 e10451232 File 44538-2341 jeg (16 KB, 348x480) O Anonymous (ID: HSWTOW) -106/03/20(Wed)06 48:24 No. 10450197 File: 1588971295848 jng (18 KB, 399x388) 2210450167 WTFFFFFFFFFF Anonymous (ID: wDSYD)II06/03/20(Wedy09.54.03 No. 10450566 2210450167 what the f--- is wrong with you, sick f---
File: 4465-d32 ing (8 KB, 220x266) Anonymous (ID: WN3STSO) 06/03/20(Wedy06.02:52 No 10450092 2104510R1 2219451103 1451232 10451525 1451las ??? O Anonymous (ID: CHSWITOW) I-1 06/03/20(Wed)06.04:11 No 10450094 > w-wait what are you doing??? think about this for a secondi that's your thumbl O Anonymous (iD: SAMGRGyT)= 06/03/20(Wedj06:27:10 No. 10450136 dude, go post gore on /b/ please O Anonymous (ID: ME) 06/03/20(Wedj06:30:51 No 10450142 File: fas. gif (644 KB, 500x375) NO NO NONONONONO NON ON NON NON NO NO NO NO NO NO ql 1 O Anonymous (ID: WSSTSO) 06/03/20(Wed)06:36 35 No 10450167 10450192 104505S6 10458 a1045AS71 10451993 10451103 e10451232 File 44538-2341 jeg (16 KB, 348x480) O Anonymous (ID: HSWTOW) -106/03/20(Wed)06 48:24 No. 10450197 File: 1588971295848 jng (18 KB, 399x388) 2210450167 WTFFFFFFFFFF Anonymous (ID: wDSYD)II06/03/20(Wedy09.54.03 No. 10450566 2210450167 what the f--- is wrong with you, sick f---

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Anon does some math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)00:27:49 No.852581489 >be me >Want to invest in Bitcoin >Put in 10 bucks >goes up a bit after an hour >withdraw everything >live off the high thinking about the millions l'd have been raking in if I put in all my life savings 877 KB PNG Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)00:41:38 No.852582654 >>852581489 (OP) >millions l'd have been raking in if I put in all my life savings | Bitcoin doesn't jump by a trillion % in an hour anon
Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)00:27:49 No.852581489 >be me >Want to invest in Bitcoin >Put in 10 bucks >goes up a bit after an hour >withdraw everything >live off the high thinking about the millions l'd have been raking in if I put in all my life savings 877 KB PNG Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)00:41:38 No.852582654 >>852581489 (OP) >millions l'd have been raking in if I put in all my life savings | Bitcoin doesn't jump by a trillion % in an hour anon

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Anon has a “Chad” roommate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)23:32:08 No.852577702 >be me, 20 years old >unifag >have dormmate who's more degenerate than I am >he's 300 pounds, but wants to be a chad 10 KB JPG >buys this shampoo that's supposed to make your hair "sexy" >he uses it in the shower one time and the bathroom smells so overpoweringly like mint that I can't even go to piss in there >he keeps using more of it in the shower until eventually the whole house smells like sickening >literally have to go stay in someone else's dorm because of it WHY
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)23:32:08 No.852577702 >be me, 20 years old >unifag >have dormmate who's more degenerate than I am >he's 300 pounds, but wants to be a chad 10 KB JPG >buys this shampoo that's supposed to make your hair "sexy" >he uses it in the shower one time and the bathroom smells so overpoweringly like mint that I can't even go to piss in there >he keeps using more of it in the shower until eventually the whole house smells like sickening >literally have to go stay in someone else's dorm because of it WHY

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Anon has night terrors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)18:38:38 No.852594544 >>852594145 # >be me, couple of years ago >go through a phase of getting night terrors a couple years back >l'd feel it starting to happen with this 27 KB JPG tingling in the back of my head & neck >psychfag friend told me a good strategy is to tell the entity (in my head) to go away, be gone etc. >I start telling whatever it is bothering me at night to "f--- off" and imagined vacuuming the ghost >also call it "f-----" when it won't listen >fast forward a couple months, am seeing a new girl, she sleeps over for the first time >next morning she is a little nervous. Ask what's wrong >apparently I bellowed out "why won't you just f--- off you f------ f-----, l'll suck you up" >MFW
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)18:38:38 No.852594544 >>852594145 # >be me, couple of years ago >go through a phase of getting night terrors a couple years back >l'd feel it starting to happen with this 27 KB JPG tingling in the back of my head & neck >psychfag friend told me a good strategy is to tell the entity (in my head) to go away, be gone etc. >I start telling whatever it is bothering me at night to "f--- off" and imagined vacuuming the ghost >also call it "f-----" when it won't listen >fast forward a couple months, am seeing a new girl, she sleeps over for the first time >next morning she is a little nervous. Ask what's wrong >apparently I bellowed out "why won't you just f--- off you f------ f-----, l'll suck you up" >MFW

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Anon has a sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)10:32:10 No.852512596 >be me >recently scored a gf >get along with her best friend just fine >even got the same interests and music taste 8 KB JPG >we both (me and the friend) have blonde hair and blue eyes >even the facial structure is kinda similar >we constanly joke that we might as well be siblings >her mother walked out on her when she was born for no apparent reason >mfw my father was a serial cheater and probably has few kids on the side >mfw it's entirely possible that she is my actual sister 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)10:32:10 No.852512596 >be me >recently scored a gf >get along with her best friend just fine >even got the same interests and music taste 8 KB JPG >we both (me and the friend) have blonde hair and blue eyes >even the facial structure is kinda similar >we constanly joke that we might as well be siblings >her mother walked out on her when she was born for no apparent reason >mfw my father was a serial cheater and probably has few kids on the side >mfw it's entirely possible that she is my actual sister 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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