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Anon buys crypto | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/13/2024, 12:15:21 AM No.79062436 56 KB JPEG >Be me >Crypto Pleb >Read online about the next coin to go to the moon >osnap.jpg >Read reddit posts to verify info >Reddit Crypto Bros concur >fullsend.png >Make excited reddit post about my first Crypto purchase >Coin immediately goes down >Panic and Cash Out >Coin immediately goes up >mfw
Anonymous 12/13/2024, 12:15:21 AM No.79062436 56 KB JPEG >Be me >Crypto Pleb >Read online about the next coin to go to the moon >osnap.jpg >Read reddit posts to verify info >Reddit Crypto Bros concur >fullsend.png >Make excited reddit post about my first Crypto purchase >Coin immediately goes down >Panic and Cash Out >Coin immediately goes up >mfw

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Anon tries cooking | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/12/2024, 20:45:02 No.30576717 >Be me, 28 142 KB JPEG > Loved poached eggs, but have never made them myself > YouTube "How to poach eggs" "Poached eggs are the cause of so much debate. First, get your skillet...." > Forget it
Anonymous 12/12/2024, 20:45:02 No.30576717 >Be me, 28 142 KB JPEG > Loved poached eggs, but have never made them myself > YouTube "How to poach eggs" "Poached eggs are the cause of so much debate. First, get your skillet...." > Forget it

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Hail to the Chief | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12.12.2024, 21:17:44 No.75464878 > be me 283 KB PNG > 26 years old > handsome looking guy > frustrated about capitalism and corrupt government > decide to do something > gonna kill that CEO > get a gun and prepare for months > finally day arrives > walk to my destination > easy to sneak in > no bodyguards > shoot that Bastard without hesitation > jump on stage > leave Ford's Theatre Pic unrelated.
Anonymous 12.12.2024, 21:17:44 No.75464878 > be me 283 KB PNG > 26 years old > handsome looking guy > frustrated about capitalism and corrupt government > decide to do something > gonna kill that CEO > get a gun and prepare for months > finally day arrives > walk to my destination > easy to sneak in > no bodyguards > shoot that Bastard without hesitation > jump on stage > leave Ford's Theatre Pic unrelated.

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Anon answers a difficult question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)20:02:57 No.28187105 File: 1375486401415.png (17 KB, 558x528) >>28174133 (OP). >Do you guys care if a female has a innie or outie p----? At this point I can only say... Beggars can't be choosers.
Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)20:02:57 No.28187105 File: 1375486401415.png (17 KB, 558x528) >>28174133 (OP). >Do you guys care if a female has a innie or outie p----? At this point I can only say... Beggars can't be choosers.

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Typical incel | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/01/19(Tue)14:42:27 No.788795877 >be me >loyal husband and father to two daughters >in kitchen making school lunches for kids >wife of 10 years comes in, criticises me for being too slow as the kids are gonna be late for school >say to her that I'd get it done a bit quicker if she helped out instead of spending half an hour on her hair and makeup >r/greentext mod pops out of the cupboard, rolls his eyes and shakes his head >"typical incel" >winks at my wife and disappears back into cupboard >youngest daughter starts crying >call the police
Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/01/19(Tue)14:42:27 No.788795877 >be me >loyal husband and father to two daughters >in kitchen making school lunches for kids >wife of 10 years comes in, criticises me for being too slow as the kids are gonna be late for school >say to her that I'd get it done a bit quicker if she helped out instead of spending half an hour on her hair and makeup >r/greentext mod pops out of the cupboard, rolls his eyes and shakes his head >"typical incel" >winks at my wife and disappears back into cupboard >youngest daughter starts crying >call the police

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"Why wouldn't you want an elf wife?" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/23/21 (Fri)07:09:44 No.63346436 File: marcille.jpg (194 KB, 953x954) >live a long, happy life with your elven wife >she was 200 when you met her >she's 260 now >looks the same as the day you met >be human >die >elf wife suffers and mourns you for hundreds of years alone That's f------ why.
Anonymous 04/23/21 (Fri)07:09:44 No.63346436 File: marcille.jpg (194 KB, 953x954) >live a long, happy life with your elven wife >she was 200 when you met her >she's 260 now >looks the same as the day you met >be human >die >elf wife suffers and mourns you for hundreds of years alone That's f------ why.

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suspicious anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 269 KB JPG Anonymous 12 KB PNG 192 10/28/22(Fri)16:15:12 No. 176162 >watching shame on the airplane >loli next to me keeps looking at my screen how do you discreetly watch a movie on the plane 10/28/22(Fri)16:16:57 No. 1761623 >>176162318 (OP) # >calling actual children "lolis"
: Anonymous 269 KB JPG Anonymous 12 KB PNG 192 10/28/22(Fri)16:15:12 No. 176162 >watching shame on the airplane >loli next to me keeps looking at my screen how do you discreetly watch a movie on the plane 10/28/22(Fri)16:16:57 No. 1761623 >>176162318 (OP) # >calling actual children "lolis"

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Anon is cross eyed | /r/Greentext

393 KB PNG >put on Nickelodeon so my dogs can listen to some cartoons while I step out of the house for a few minutes > Seinfeld is playing W--??? Why are they showing Seinfeld to children? Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)16:55:44 No.168922082 can you look at me when you're talking? >>168922110 #>>168922189 # Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)16:56:52 No.168922110 >>168922082 #
393 KB PNG >put on Nickelodeon so my dogs can listen to some cartoons while I step out of the house for a few minutes > Seinfeld is playing W--??? Why are they showing Seinfeld to children? Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)16:55:44 No.168922082 can you look at me when you're talking? >>168922110 #>>168922189 # Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)16:56:52 No.168922110 >>168922082 #

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Anon talks about the hated character from Chainsaw Man Part 2 | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 185 KB PNG 12/11/24(Wed)19:08:46 No.274003924 >"Hehe that look at that SLUT Fumiko lusting after Chainsaw Man thinking he cares about her." >"He doesn't want a dumb Public Safety w---- like her. He wants a pure good girl like me." >"She's dumb and incompetent and useless and she abandoned him when I'm smart and strong and useful and saved him many times." >"Also she's just a fake bitch who doesn't care about him and that's why he loves ME and not her." >"BTW I'm prettier than her even without makeup!" >"ALSO she's dead and I'm alive suck it w----."
⠀ Anonymous 185 KB PNG 12/11/24(Wed)19:08:46 No.274003924 >"Hehe that look at that SLUT Fumiko lusting after Chainsaw Man thinking he cares about her." >"He doesn't want a dumb Public Safety w---- like her. He wants a pure good girl like me." >"She's dumb and incompetent and useless and she abandoned him when I'm smart and strong and useful and saved him many times." >"Also she's just a fake bitch who doesn't care about him and that's why he loves ME and not her." >"BTW I'm prettier than her even without makeup!" >"ALSO she's dead and I'm alive suck it w----."

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Anon doesn't understand Americans. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/12/24(Thu)02:47:44 No.205502000 American just talk to strangers in public like it's the most normal thing 12/12/24(Thu)02:49:01 No.205502031 >>205502000 (OP) # you don't? 186 KB PNG >>205502053 # >>205502061 # >>205502070 # >>205502082 # >>205502263 # >>205503846 # >>205504237 # >>205504279 # >>205504539 # >>205504935 # >>205505196 #
Anonymous 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/12/24(Thu)02:47:44 No.205502000 American just talk to strangers in public like it's the most normal thing 12/12/24(Thu)02:49:01 No.205502031 >>205502000 (OP) # you don't? 186 KB PNG >>205502053 # >>205502061 # >>205502070 # >>205502082 # >>205502263 # >>205503846 # >>205504237 # >>205504279 # >>205504539 # >>205504935 # >>205505196 #

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Anon does 9/11 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 388 KB JPG 12/12/24(Thu)00:50:16 No.928542511 > on vacation in jamaica with family > taking my turn entertaining my cousins kid > she's cute as a button > were in the ocean when I get an idea > start having her "fly" into my nephew and his friend > refer to them as the south and north towers and the pentagon > she's loving it "again! again uncle anon!" > say s--- like "we almost have enough to justify an invasion!" "That's a million dead Iraqis!" > doesn't even cross my mind how bad this looks until afterwards Half of me thinks this is the funniest s--- ever, the other half kinda dreads that she might want to play "twin towers" again, or god forbid repeat what she heard in the airport or on the plane
Anonymous 388 KB JPG 12/12/24(Thu)00:50:16 No.928542511 > on vacation in jamaica with family > taking my turn entertaining my cousins kid > she's cute as a button > were in the ocean when I get an idea > start having her "fly" into my nephew and his friend > refer to them as the south and north towers and the pentagon > she's loving it "again! again uncle anon!" > say s--- like "we almost have enough to justify an invasion!" "That's a million dead Iraqis!" > doesn't even cross my mind how bad this looks until afterwards Half of me thinks this is the funniest s--- ever, the other half kinda dreads that she might want to play "twin towers" again, or god forbid repeat what she heard in the airport or on the plane

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Based Tinder interaction | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Strange Encounter 124 KB JPG 12/31/23(Sun)10:12:24 No.911612670 >be me >23 >on tinder >match with 45 year old woman >go to her place to f--- >she insists I call her mommy while f------ >calls me son >she unironically made me a packed lunch before I left What just happened
Anonymous Strange Encounter 124 KB JPG 12/31/23(Sun)10:12:24 No.911612670 >be me >23 >on tinder >match with 45 year old woman >go to her place to f--- >she insists I call her mommy while f------ >calls me son >she unironically made me a packed lunch before I left What just happened

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Anon is a holobunga denier | /r/Greentext

File: grug.jpg (20 KB, 353x400) Anonymous (ID: 6v0ltj6R) 12/11/24(Wed)21:44:58 No.491198840 >neighbor grugstein have 6 family member >grugstein start fire that wipe out half the cave >grugstein claim he lose all 6 family member and call it holobunga >grugstein still have 6 family member after holobunga me no beleive the holobunga دی
File: grug.jpg (20 KB, 353x400) Anonymous (ID: 6v0ltj6R) 12/11/24(Wed)21:44:58 No.491198840 >neighbor grugstein have 6 family member >grugstein start fire that wipe out half the cave >grugstein claim he lose all 6 family member and call it holobunga >grugstein still have 6 family member after holobunga me no beleive the holobunga دی

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Anon is on trial on the USS Voyager | /r/Greentext

4 h 54 : Anonymous 41 KB JPG 95% 07/03/22(Sun)15:55:09 No.881336593 > Computer: Activate formal recording protocol: Crew Disciplinary Hearing, authorising officer Provisional Commander Chakotay, Federation Starship Voyager. > Formal recording protocol "Crew Disciplinary Hearing" is now active. Internal sensors are now recording all proceedings in this compartment at maximum resolution and sampling rate; all recordings will be preserved immutably. Please state persons present and their role in these proceedings. > Provisional Commander Chakotay, Hearing Chair; Lieutenant Tuvok, Investigating Officer; Crewman Third Class Anon, Subject of Proceedings; Ensign Kim, representative appointed for Crewman Anon. > Verified, Lieutenant Tuvok: please read out your investigative summary. > This investigation was originally of a non-disciplinary nature intended to correlate the energy expended by the ship's holodecks with individual crew members to determine the necessity of a rationing system to ensure a suitable distribution of non-essential entertainment resources. This was carried out by a junior officer in the Engineering department. Due to the unusually high use of the holodecks by crewman Anon, his programs were reviewed in more detail, and on observing individual file names, the officer made me aware of the situation, and I commenced a disciplinary investigation concerned with possible breaches of the Starfleet Code of Conduct, in particular, Section 3, Subsection 2, Regulation 3.2.C concerning the prohibition on the production of lewd material featuring serving members of Starfleet. > In particular, this hearing is concerned with holodeck files: > "MommydomJaneway_straightshota" > "LoliDom JanewayRampage" > "DuraniumChastityCage" > "Janeways ToiletSlave" > ...and numerous variations thereof. > Subsequent discoveries of relevance are custom replicator files: > "LoliJanewayCunnyCheese (focaccia)" > "TheCaptainsGrool(37C)" > "Special ChocolatePudding" 1 Donly View Thread ||| O <
4 h 54 : Anonymous 41 KB JPG 95% 07/03/22(Sun)15:55:09 No.881336593 > Computer: Activate formal recording protocol: Crew Disciplinary Hearing, authorising officer Provisional Commander Chakotay, Federation Starship Voyager. > Formal recording protocol "Crew Disciplinary Hearing" is now active. Internal sensors are now recording all proceedings in this compartment at maximum resolution and sampling rate; all recordings will be preserved immutably. Please state persons present and their role in these proceedings. > Provisional Commander Chakotay, Hearing Chair; Lieutenant Tuvok, Investigating Officer; Crewman Third Class Anon, Subject of Proceedings; Ensign Kim, representative appointed for Crewman Anon. > Verified, Lieutenant Tuvok: please read out your investigative summary. > This investigation was originally of a non-disciplinary nature intended to correlate the energy expended by the ship's holodecks with individual crew members to determine the necessity of a rationing system to ensure a suitable distribution of non-essential entertainment resources. This was carried out by a junior officer in the Engineering department. Due to the unusually high use of the holodecks by crewman Anon, his programs were reviewed in more detail, and on observing individual file names, the officer made me aware of the situation, and I commenced a disciplinary investigation concerned with possible breaches of the Starfleet Code of Conduct, in particular, Section 3, Subsection 2, Regulation 3.2.C concerning the prohibition on the production of lewd material featuring serving members of Starfleet. > In particular, this hearing is concerned with holodeck files: > "MommydomJaneway_straightshota" > "LoliDom JanewayRampage" > "DuraniumChastityCage" > "Janeways ToiletSlave" > ...and numerous variations thereof. > Subsequent discoveries of relevance are custom replicator files: > "LoliJanewayCunnyCheese (focaccia)" > "TheCaptainsGrool(37C)" > "Special ChocolatePudding" 1 Donly View Thread ||| O <

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Anon's intentions are misunderstood | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [☐ Auto] File: CostDOSXgAAseKR.jpg (39 KB, 500x500) FUG Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)17:37:56 No.927977224 > Life is s--- > Attempt an hero > Get saved by nice bearded guy > Start following bearded guy everywhere > Bearded guy keeps saving people and acquiring more minions > Upgrade complete, 'bearded guy' is now 'hero'. > Life is good, life is great > "The Man" doesn't like our hero clique > "The man" declares hero a criminal > SentencedToDeath.WebP > Hero gets tortured on a wooden device till good and dead > Need to immortalize hero so is never forgotten > Write a super thick book detailing hero's adventures > Put torture device on cover of book to throw off the authorities >MFW torture device becomes symbol for hero > They even added an image of our hero suffering on the torture device > They named it a "crucifix"
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [☐ Auto] File: CostDOSXgAAseKR.jpg (39 KB, 500x500) FUG Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)17:37:56 No.927977224 > Life is s--- > Attempt an hero > Get saved by nice bearded guy > Start following bearded guy everywhere > Bearded guy keeps saving people and acquiring more minions > Upgrade complete, 'bearded guy' is now 'hero'. > Life is good, life is great > "The Man" doesn't like our hero clique > "The man" declares hero a criminal > SentencedToDeath.WebP > Hero gets tortured on a wooden device till good and dead > Need to immortalize hero so is never forgotten > Write a super thick book detailing hero's adventures > Put torture device on cover of book to throw off the authorities >MFW torture device becomes symbol for hero > They even added an image of our hero suffering on the torture device > They named it a "crucifix"

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Anon uses the Freaky Deck pt.2 | /r/Greentext

Gul Rogan.png, 878KiB, 1070x851 66 DOE --> -- Anonymous Sun 18 Aug 2024 22:49:04 No. 62320484 Quoted By: >>62320709 >>62320732 >>62321023 >>62364682 >>62382219 >>62387095 >>62310717 >"Computer: simulate mid-19th century rural Mississippi. Setting: a Klan rally in a secluded field. Give each attendant 150% enhanced strength and stamina, 200% jungle fever, and latent homosexual desires. Blood alcohol for all in attendance is .24%." >"Understood." >"Commander LaForge. Could you please come to Holodeck Four? I'm running a simulation of the new warp coil configuration and would like your input." >Be right up, Lieutenant Anon." >Computer. Disengage safety protocols."
Gul Rogan.png, 878KiB, 1070x851 66 DOE --> -- Anonymous Sun 18 Aug 2024 22:49:04 No. 62320484 Quoted By: >>62320709 >>62320732 >>62321023 >>62364682 >>62382219 >>62387095 >>62310717 >"Computer: simulate mid-19th century rural Mississippi. Setting: a Klan rally in a secluded field. Give each attendant 150% enhanced strength and stamina, 200% jungle fever, and latent homosexual desires. Blood alcohol for all in attendance is .24%." >"Understood." >"Commander LaForge. Could you please come to Holodeck Four? I'm running a simulation of the new warp coil configuration and would like your input." >Be right up, Lieutenant Anon." >Computer. Disengage safety protocols."

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Geordi and Data | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat) 19:06:41 No.83807197 x1080.jpg 150 KB JPG >>83805761 # >>83806041 # "Alright, Data, this neural interface suit should allow me to not just watch the series but actually feel what it's like to be the pickle." "Geordi. this procedure is not advised. I believe you should reconsider-" "PICKLE ME, DAMMIT!" >>83810429 #
: Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat) 19:06:41 No.83807197 x1080.jpg 150 KB JPG >>83805761 # >>83806041 # "Alright, Data, this neural interface suit should allow me to not just watch the series but actually feel what it's like to be the pickle." "Geordi. this procedure is not advised. I believe you should reconsider-" "PICKLE ME, DAMMIT!" >>83810429 #

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Anon Uses the Freaky Deck | /r/Greentext

2MiB, 1170x658, Puter.png Anonymous Sat 30 Nov 2024 16:08:29 No.146586686 Quoted By: >>146586744 View Computer, load up a simulated avatar based on Dr. T'ana of the USS Cerritos, make her 160 kg overweight with apidose depositing mainly in her chest, abdomen and buttocks regions along with slight increased muscle mass to compensate. Increase her libido by 125% and make her attracted to me personally.
2MiB, 1170x658, Puter.png Anonymous Sat 30 Nov 2024 16:08:29 No.146586686 Quoted By: >>146586744 View Computer, load up a simulated avatar based on Dr. T'ana of the USS Cerritos, make her 160 kg overweight with apidose depositing mainly in her chest, abdomen and buttocks regions along with slight increased muscle mass to compensate. Increase her libido by 125% and make her attracted to me personally.

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Rather Sleep | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/11/24(Wed)15:22:01 No.79727681 54 KB PNG >This POS invention is preventing me from killing myself peacefully without pain.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/11/24(Wed)15:22:01 No.79727681 54 KB PNG >This POS invention is preventing me from killing myself peacefully without pain.

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Anon goes out on Friday nights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous L'OREAL 12/07/18(Fri)19:13 >friday night >shower >shave beard >hair product >new jacket 59 KB JPG >new shoes >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am
Anonymous L'OREAL 12/07/18(Fri)19:13 >friday night >shower >shave beard >hair product >new jacket 59 KB JPG >new shoes >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am

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