Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/01/19(Tue)14:42:27 No.788795877 >be me >loyal husband and father to two daughters >in kitchen making school lunches for kids >wife of 10 years comes in, criticises me for being too slow as the kids are gonna be late for school >say to her that I'd get it done a bit quicker if she helped out instead of spending half an hour on her hair and makeup >r/greentext mod pops out of the cupboard, rolls his eyes and shakes his head >"typical incel" >winks at my wife and disappears back into cupboard >youngest daughter starts crying >call the police

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: Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat) 19:06:41 No.83807197 x1080.jpg 150 KB JPG >>83805761 # >>83806041 # "Alright, Data, this neural interface suit should allow me to not just watch the series but actually feel what it's like to be the pickle." "Geordi. this procedure is not advised. I believe you should reconsider-" "PICKLE ME, DAMMIT!" >>83810429 #

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: csHm5+uX) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 12/11/24(Wed)11:53:34 No.491144817 263 KB JPG Since this place is going to be littered with security cameras from now on, was this the last get away spot in America? Anonymous (ID: fkm6NKaX ) [ >>491144817 (OP) 12/11/24(Wed)11:55:29 No.491144969 >literally the must public park in the world >last getaway spot in the us Are burgers retarded? Anonymous (ID: ezBvirCP) >>491144817 (OP) Just have gay sex at home, retard. 12/11/24(Wed)11:57:35 No.491145133

Anonymous 244 KB PNG 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread

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"Why wouldn't you want an elf wife?" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/23/21 (Fri)07:09:44 No.63346436 File: marcille.jpg (194 KB, 953x954) >live a long, happy life with your elven wife >she was 200 when you met her >she's 260 now >looks the same as the day you met >be human >die >elf wife suffers and mourns you for hundreds of years alone That's f------ why.

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suspicious anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 269 KB JPG Anonymous 12 KB PNG 192 10/28/22(Fri)16:15:12 No. 176162 >watching shame on the airplane >loli next to me keeps looking at my screen how do you discreetly watch a movie on the plane 10/28/22(Fri)16:16:57 No. 1761623 >>176162318 (OP) # >calling actual children "lolis"

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Anon is cross eyed | /r/Greentext

393 KB PNG >put on Nickelodeon so my dogs can listen to some cartoons while I step out of the house for a few minutes > Seinfeld is playing W--??? Why are they showing Seinfeld to children? Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)16:55:44 No.168922082 can you look at me when you're talking? >>168922110 #>>168922189 # Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)16:56:52 No.168922110 >>168922082 #

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Anon talks about the hated character from Chainsaw Man Part 2 | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 185 KB PNG 12/11/24(Wed)19:08:46 No.274003924 >"Hehe that look at that SLUT Fumiko lusting after Chainsaw Man thinking he cares about her." >"He doesn't want a dumb Public Safety w---- like her. He wants a pure good girl like me." >"She's dumb and incompetent and useless and she abandoned him when I'm smart and strong and useful and saved him many times." >"Also she's just a fake bitch who doesn't care about him and that's why he loves ME and not her." >"BTW I'm prettier than her even without makeup!" >"ALSO she's dead and I'm alive suck it w----."

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Anon doesn't understand Americans. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/12/24(Thu)02:47:44 No.205502000 American just talk to strangers in public like it's the most normal thing 12/12/24(Thu)02:49:01 No.205502031 >>205502000 (OP) # you don't? 186 KB PNG >>205502053 # >>205502061 # >>205502070 # >>205502082 # >>205502263 # >>205503846 # >>205504237 # >>205504279 # >>205504539 # >>205504935 # >>205505196 #

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Anon does 9/11 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 388 KB JPG 12/12/24(Thu)00:50:16 No.928542511 > on vacation in jamaica with family > taking my turn entertaining my cousins kid > she's cute as a button > were in the ocean when I get an idea > start having her "fly" into my nephew and his friend > refer to them as the south and north towers and the pentagon > she's loving it "again! again uncle anon!" > say s--- like "we almost have enough to justify an invasion!" "That's a million dead Iraqis!" > doesn't even cross my mind how bad this looks until afterwards Half of me thinks this is the funniest s--- ever, the other half kinda dreads that she might want to play "twin towers" again, or god forbid repeat what she heard in the airport or on the plane

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Based Tinder interaction | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Strange Encounter 124 KB JPG 12/31/23(Sun)10:12:24 No.911612670 >be me >23 >on tinder >match with 45 year old woman >go to her place to f--- >she insists I call her mommy while f------ >calls me son >she unironically made me a packed lunch before I left What just happened

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Anon is a holobunga denier | /r/Greentext

File: grug.jpg (20 KB, 353x400) Anonymous (ID: 6v0ltj6R) 12/11/24(Wed)21:44:58 No.491198840 >neighbor grugstein have 6 family member >grugstein start fire that wipe out half the cave >grugstein claim he lose all 6 family member and call it holobunga >grugstein still have 6 family member after holobunga me no beleive the holobunga دی

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Anon is on trial on the USS Voyager | /r/Greentext

4 h 54 : Anonymous 41 KB JPG 95% 07/03/22(Sun)15:55:09 No.881336593 > Computer: Activate formal recording protocol: Crew Disciplinary Hearing, authorising officer Provisional Commander Chakotay, Federation Starship Voyager. > Formal recording protocol "Crew Disciplinary Hearing" is now active. Internal sensors are now recording all proceedings in this compartment at maximum resolution and sampling rate; all recordings will be preserved immutably. Please state persons present and their role in these proceedings. > Provisional Commander Chakotay, Hearing Chair; Lieutenant Tuvok, Investigating Officer; Crewman Third Class Anon, Subject of Proceedings; Ensign Kim, representative appointed for Crewman Anon. > Verified, Lieutenant Tuvok: please read out your investigative summary. > This investigation was originally of a non-disciplinary nature intended to correlate the energy expended by the ship's holodecks with individual crew members to determine the necessity of a rationing system to ensure a suitable distribution of non-essential entertainment resources. This was carried out by a junior officer in the Engineering department. Due to the unusually high use of the holodecks by crewman Anon, his programs were reviewed in more detail, and on observing individual file names, the officer made me aware of the situation, and I commenced a disciplinary investigation concerned with possible breaches of the Starfleet Code of Conduct, in particular, Section 3, Subsection 2, Regulation 3.2.C concerning the prohibition on the production of lewd material featuring serving members of Starfleet. > In particular, this hearing is concerned with holodeck files: > "MommydomJaneway_straightshota" > "LoliDom JanewayRampage" > "DuraniumChastityCage" > "Janeways ToiletSlave" > ...and numerous variations thereof. > Subsequent discoveries of relevance are custom replicator files: > "LoliJanewayCunnyCheese (focaccia)" > "TheCaptainsGrool(37C)" > "Special ChocolatePudding" 1 Donly View Thread ||| O <

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Anon's intentions are misunderstood | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [☐ Auto] File: CostDOSXgAAseKR.jpg (39 KB, 500x500) FUG Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)17:37:56 No.927977224 > Life is s--- > Attempt an hero > Get saved by nice bearded guy > Start following bearded guy everywhere > Bearded guy keeps saving people and acquiring more minions > Upgrade complete, 'bearded guy' is now 'hero'. > Life is good, life is great > "The Man" doesn't like our hero clique > "The man" declares hero a criminal > SentencedToDeath.WebP > Hero gets tortured on a wooden device till good and dead > Need to immortalize hero so is never forgotten > Write a super thick book detailing hero's adventures > Put torture device on cover of book to throw off the authorities >MFW torture device becomes symbol for hero > They even added an image of our hero suffering on the torture device > They named it a "crucifix"

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Anon uses the Freaky Deck pt.2 | /r/Greentext

Gul Rogan.png, 878KiB, 1070x851 66 DOE --> -- Anonymous Sun 18 Aug 2024 22:49:04 No. 62320484 Quoted By: >>62320709 >>62320732 >>62321023 >>62364682 >>62382219 >>62387095 >>62310717 >"Computer: simulate mid-19th century rural Mississippi. Setting: a Klan rally in a secluded field. Give each attendant 150% enhanced strength and stamina, 200% jungle fever, and latent homosexual desires. Blood alcohol for all in attendance is .24%." >"Understood." >"Commander LaForge. Could you please come to Holodeck Four? I'm running a simulation of the new warp coil configuration and would like your input." >Be right up, Lieutenant Anon." >Computer. Disengage safety protocols."

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Geordi and Data | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat) 19:06:41 No.83807197 x1080.jpg 150 KB JPG >>83805761 # >>83806041 # "Alright, Data, this neural interface suit should allow me to not just watch the series but actually feel what it's like to be the pickle." "Geordi. this procedure is not advised. I believe you should reconsider-" "PICKLE ME, DAMMIT!" >>83810429 #

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Greentext Stories - Typical incel | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 6 KB JPG 01/01/19(Tue)14:42:27 No.788795877 >be me >loyal husband and father to two daughters >in kitchen making school lunches for kids >wife of 10 years comes in, criticises me for being too slow as the kids are gonna be late for school >say to her that I'd get it done a bit quicker if she helped out instead of spending half an hour on her hair and makeup >r/greentext mod pops out of the cupboard, rolls his eyes and shakes his head >"typical incel" >winks at my wife and disappears back into cupboard >youngest daughter starts crying >call the police

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