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Fuck you satan, GET OUT OF MY ROOM

I, God, am the most smart & cool & OP being 4ever 4 ´infinity SO worship me ok Oude, are you seriously talking to your lesser life forms right now? That is so sad. SHUT UP SATAN GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!! um, whos Saton? A HUGE A------ IDIOT LOSER OK! ch- HAPPY ROADKILL

I, God, am the most smart & cool & OP being 4ever 4 ´infinity SO worship me ok Oude, are you seriously talking to your lesser life forms right now? That is so sad. SHUT UP SATAN GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!! um, whos Saton? A HUGE A------ IDIOT LOSER OK! ch- HAPPY ROADKILL

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The american prison complex is GREAT

Say what you want about the USA, but at least we don't have forced labor camps like SOME Instead we have prisons where 25% of the world's prisoners are safely rehabilitated! countries... By working! Against their will! Or else they get the isolation chamber- HAPPYROADKILL

Say what you want about the USA, but at least we don't have forced labor camps like SOME Instead we have prisons where 25% of the world's prisoners are safely rehabilitated! countries... By working! Against their will! Or else they get the isolation chamber- HAPPYROADKILL

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You beautiful PIECES OF SHIT UwU

The world is burning because you kept forgetting your reusable bag in the car you piece of f------ s--- f--- OIL EXECS you BID N HARRIS %24

The world is burning because you kept forgetting your reusable bag in the car you piece of f------ s--- f--- OIL EXECS you BID N HARRIS %24

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WHAM, WHAM WHAM WHAM

SELECT- FIX LABOR WORK THE FEW SHORTAGE BY EMPLOYEES YOU RAISING WAGES & HAVE TO DEATH BENEFITS SLAM! SLAM! FIX LABOR SHORTAGE BY RAISING WAGES & BENEFITS SA SLAM! HAPPYROADKILL %24

SELECT- FIX LABOR WORK THE FEW SHORTAGE BY EMPLOYEES YOU RAISING WAGES & HAVE TO DEATH BENEFITS SLAM! SLAM! FIX LABOR SHORTAGE BY RAISING WAGES & BENEFITS SA SLAM! HAPPYROADKILL %24

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Meanwhile in 2031

HAPPYROADKILL SO, climate change took a completely unexpected turn... Luckily your favorite global superpower has been funneling billions of dollars into all the right places.

HAPPYROADKILL SO, climate change took a completely unexpected turn... Luckily your favorite global superpower has been funneling billions of dollars into all the right places.

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VACCINE DIPLOMACY: for when the deadly pandemic is not a big enough incentive to help control the deadly pandemic

HAPPYROADKILL The global south isn't doing too well. pffFFF- China's WHAT?? Are Do you think we should help? doing it. you high???

HAPPYROADKILL The global south isn't doing too well. pffFFF- China's WHAT?? Are Do you think we should help? doing it. you high???

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Lets see those tricksy voter fraudsters that totally exist vote now!

Few more gators and democracy's pretty much saved! VOTE 30000 DANGER MINE FIELD FO News HAPPYROADKILL OAN America News

Few more gators and democracy's pretty much saved! VOTE 30000 DANGER MINE FIELD FO News HAPPYROADKILL OAN America News

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Oh god oh fuck...

so then what's above that? more God! but- look- unfortunately this guy is everything alright? HE IS ALL! but how do you guys know that? because we checked. we checked and nothing else was f------ there, ok? but what if something was there? like a powerful being thats presence cant be detected by your innate senses but is there nonetheless? a-

so then what's above that? more God! but- look- unfortunately this guy is everything alright? HE IS ALL! but how do you guys know that? because we checked. we checked and nothing else was f------ there, ok? but what if something was there? like a powerful being thats presence cant be detected by your innate senses but is there nonetheless? a-

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I'm destroying the things you love out of love!

HAPPYROADKILL Are these I'm not throwing away the things you love to be mean, antibiotics?? WHAT DID I SAY sweetie pie! ABOUT USING ALTERNATIVES TO I just don't want Satan to JESUS' LOVE!? hurt you! J-R-R TOLKEA JÖR *sigh* There goes my other kidney.

HAPPYROADKILL Are these I'm not throwing away the things you love to be mean, antibiotics?? WHAT DID I SAY sweetie pie! ABOUT USING ALTERNATIVES TO I just don't want Satan to JESUS' LOVE!? hurt you! J-R-R TOLKEA JÖR *sigh* There goes my other kidney.

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Its only okay when corporations endorse MY IDEAS

TELL THE FREE It's the free Sir, more companies are publicly condemning your MARKET IT'S A marketplace of ideas, snowflake. GODDAMN ideas. Deal with it. COMMUNIST! HAPPYROADKILL

TELL THE FREE It's the free Sir, more companies are publicly condemning your MARKET IT'S A marketplace of ideas, snowflake. GODDAMN ideas. Deal with it. COMMUNIST! HAPPYROADKILL

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Cure your hiccups in one simple step!

fuuuuck water? the hell you THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE LAST F----- c'mere c'mere need water for? STRAW!! I'M GONNA KILL YA KID!!! I'm gonna try somethin my *hic* water aint gonna turn around uh I'M GONNA PUSH YOU OFF THE F----- this suUUCKS do anything! uncle georgie *hic*. okay *hic* BALCONEY!!! used ta do back do you have any when I had a case of the hiccups AAAAAAAAAAAAA *hic* water? AAA!!!! YER GONNA DIE KID!! YER GONNA BURN IN HELL FER NOT BEIN' BAPTIZED!! OH GOD!!! ONAR 30 minutes later... holy oh m y god d,ude, it worked! my hiccups *huff* how's them *huff* S--- are gone! uh hiccups lookin, chief? ignore that *HYPERVENTILATING*

fuuuuck water? the hell you THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE LAST F----- c'mere c'mere need water for? STRAW!! I'M GONNA KILL YA KID!!! I'm gonna try somethin my *hic* water aint gonna turn around uh I'M GONNA PUSH YOU OFF THE F----- this suUUCKS do anything! uncle georgie *hic*. okay *hic* BALCONEY!!! used ta do back do you have any when I had a case of the hiccups AAAAAAAAAAAAA *hic* water? AAA!!!! YER GONNA DIE KID!! YER GONNA BURN IN HELL FER NOT BEIN' BAPTIZED!! OH GOD!!! ONAR 30 minutes later... holy oh m y god d,ude, it worked! my hiccups *huff* how's them *huff* S--- are gone! uh hiccups lookin, chief? ignore that *HYPERVENTILATING*

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Chodemeister

check ya later, chodemeisters реаce DIE zumme So, what'd you think about my boy I think the majority of your friends should be ANG Jaundice Jones? euthanized. FIDLAR haha truuu RIOT

check ya later, chodemeisters реаce DIE zumme So, what'd you think about my boy I think the majority of your friends should be ANG Jaundice Jones? euthanized. FIDLAR haha truuu RIOT

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He vibing

BRRERRRRRRE Aw, I'm sorry to Hey man, what's the hear that. vibe? SWMRS NI

BRRERRRRRRE Aw, I'm sorry to Hey man, what's the hear that. vibe? SWMRS NI

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Trashbirds Classic Tm

ANS WAVVES West Coast Trash Bird East Coast Trash Bird (Painus Inthe-Anus) (Doofus Potheadicus) -Has yet to be spotted sober. Even by his parents. -Officially diagnosed with reverse claustrophobia. -P----- off because he knows -Frequently visits the emergency room for eating too many Takis. something is going to piss him off Soon. -Diet consists mostly of Del Taco and Baja Blast. -Bit Conan O’Brien for walking too slow. -Said to have hooked up with Butthole Brittany at Cory's party last weekend. (Tyler, 2019, p. 439) -Has been stabbed more times than a Roman Emperor. -Listens to folk punk instead of music. -NYPD keeps trying to poison him. (Due to public réquest) -Pretty sure I saw him straight up die once. -He once yelled at a homeless man for jerking off in the subway incorrectly.

ANS WAVVES West Coast Trash Bird East Coast Trash Bird (Painus Inthe-Anus) (Doofus Potheadicus) -Has yet to be spotted sober. Even by his parents. -Officially diagnosed with reverse claustrophobia. -P----- off because he knows -Frequently visits the emergency room for eating too many Takis. something is going to piss him off Soon. -Diet consists mostly of Del Taco and Baja Blast. -Bit Conan O’Brien for walking too slow. -Said to have hooked up with Butthole Brittany at Cory's party last weekend. (Tyler, 2019, p. 439) -Has been stabbed more times than a Roman Emperor. -Listens to folk punk instead of music. -NYPD keeps trying to poison him. (Due to public réquest) -Pretty sure I saw him straight up die once. -He once yelled at a homeless man for jerking off in the subway incorrectly.

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Trashbirds bizzaro version

ANS East Coast Trash Bird 2.0 (Fuccboi Intoxicus) "i planned on dying during spring break West Coast Trash Bird 2.0 (Fuccboi Ironicus) "My political ideology? Mmm... l'd consider myself an Authoritarian-Intellectual." anyway Imao" -Lobbied to replace the national anthem with Neutral Milk Hotel's entire discography. -Rabid. -Extremely allergic to non-alcoholic beverages -Can't eat anything that isn't pickled. -Every text he sends is a 400 word poem lamenting the cruel nature of reality. comprehensible collection of horny emojis. Whether or not he is illiterate is unknown. -Every text he sends is a surprisingly -Has never actually gotten high off of that wax pen. He spits out the vapor like snake -His blood is made up of 60% Viagra. The one drug he has never taken. venom. -Favorite genre of music is accordian. -Favorite genre of music is UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ. -He is what John Green characters grow up to be. -Daniel Tosh fanatic. -Riding Razor scooters before Tesla cars were even a thing. -Grindr is hidden within 30 layers of folders on his phone. -Cried for 3 days straight when he found out Wes Anderson filed a restraining order against him. -Has woken up at his own funeral 24 times this year. They can't seem to bury him fast enough. -Your ex-boyfriend. -Your ex-boyfriend.

ANS East Coast Trash Bird 2.0 (Fuccboi Intoxicus) "i planned on dying during spring break West Coast Trash Bird 2.0 (Fuccboi Ironicus) "My political ideology? Mmm... l'd consider myself an Authoritarian-Intellectual." anyway Imao" -Lobbied to replace the national anthem with Neutral Milk Hotel's entire discography. -Rabid. -Extremely allergic to non-alcoholic beverages -Can't eat anything that isn't pickled. -Every text he sends is a 400 word poem lamenting the cruel nature of reality. comprehensible collection of horny emojis. Whether or not he is illiterate is unknown. -Every text he sends is a surprisingly -Has never actually gotten high off of that wax pen. He spits out the vapor like snake -His blood is made up of 60% Viagra. The one drug he has never taken. venom. -Favorite genre of music is accordian. -Favorite genre of music is UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ. -He is what John Green characters grow up to be. -Daniel Tosh fanatic. -Riding Razor scooters before Tesla cars were even a thing. -Grindr is hidden within 30 layers of folders on his phone. -Cried for 3 days straight when he found out Wes Anderson filed a restraining order against him. -Has woken up at his own funeral 24 times this year. They can't seem to bury him fast enough. -Your ex-boyfriend. -Your ex-boyfriend.

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"could you stop mutating... FOR FIVE MINUTES!?"

could you stop FOR FIVE MINUTES!? mutating...

could you stop FOR FIVE MINUTES!? mutating...

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Information pipelines

Aw, don't you have anything I can read for free? THREE Would you like to read Hello, little child! about how to avoid the DOLLARS, alt-right pipeline? JACKASS uld try cleansing Y'know I've been meaning to get to that. Avoiding the Pipeline MAGA We should try ethnic cleansing PIPELINE DAILY! GET Avoiding the WHITE YER FREE PIPELINE GENOCIDE MAGA We should try ethnic cleansing. DAILY HERE!! Nah, but you could try asking that guy. 19 29 MAGA HAPPYROADKILL

Aw, don't you have anything I can read for free? THREE Would you like to read Hello, little child! about how to avoid the DOLLARS, alt-right pipeline? JACKASS uld try cleansing Y'know I've been meaning to get to that. Avoiding the Pipeline MAGA We should try ethnic cleansing PIPELINE DAILY! GET Avoiding the WHITE YER FREE PIPELINE GENOCIDE MAGA We should try ethnic cleansing. DAILY HERE!! Nah, but you could try asking that guy. 19 29 MAGA HAPPYROADKILL

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Biopic

Hey! Did ya get to checking out my biopic?? Nah, I'm not MERICA really into COD S FAVORITE COUNRY snuff films... @HAPPYROADKILL

Hey! Did ya get to checking out my biopic?? Nah, I'm not MERICA really into COD S FAVORITE COUNRY snuff films... @HAPPYROADKILL

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Confederacy

y'know it was the DEMOCRATS who fought for * * ** slavery * * HAPPYROADKILL •Tenne sSel イ★ * ** * ***

y'know it was the DEMOCRATS who fought for * * ** slavery * * HAPPYROADKILL •Tenne sSel イ★ * ** * ***

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YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. DAD!

Andischa @Andischa99 - 20m Replying to @happyroadkill A "don't tread on me"-Snake-Dakimakura with your libertarian Mom. Dad. Hedgehog l'd like you to meet Liberty. %24

Andischa @Andischa99 - 20m Replying to @happyroadkill A "don't tread on me"-Snake-Dakimakura with your libertarian Mom. Dad. Hedgehog l'd like you to meet Liberty. %24

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