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2014 article

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States NEWS April 15, 2014 VOL 50 ISSUE 15 News - Terrorism - World · Government · Al-Qaeda f .قصاخل قوارشلا ةأطوت حت ادس ف ن ري دتال برغل حام سلاونآل رظت ن A recent al-Qaeda video shows a militant training to carry out his mission of lying back and watching America's status as a superpower erode
FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States NEWS April 15, 2014 VOL 50 ISSUE 15 News - Terrorism - World · Government · Al-Qaeda f .قصاخل قوارشلا ةأطوت حت ادس ف ن ري دتال برغل حام سلاونآل رظت ن A recent al-Qaeda video shows a militant training to carry out his mission of lying back and watching America's status as a superpower erode

The Onion
isis united states /r/agedlikewine

‘That’s It, I’m Voting For Him,’ Says Undecided Voter Impressed By Poised Chris Wallace

BUCKEYE, AZ—Announcing during the presidential debate that he had made up his mind about who to support in the upcoming election, local undecided voter Alan Wills reportedly stated, “That’s it, I’m voting for him,” Tuesday after being impressed by poised moderator Chris Wallace. “That man has got my vote,” said Wills of the Fox News host, adding that Wallace seemed to have the best grasp of the issues of the three men onstage and didn’t lower himself to cheap attacks. “He seems like the only one up there who actually wants to talk seriously about things that ordinary Americans are concerned about, and he also has the right temperament for the job. When this debate started, I was definitely on the fence, but while Trump and Biden are up there bloviating, this Wallace guy is staying calm and asking good questions, plus he appears to really care about the answers. I’m voting Wallace for sure.” Wills added that he hadn’t made up his mind this early about who to vote for since the strong first-debate performance during the 2012 election by Jim Lehrer.
BUCKEYE, AZ—Announcing during the presidential debate that he had made up his mind about who to support in the upcoming election, local undecided voter Alan Wills reportedly stated, “That’s it, I’m voting for him,” Tuesday after being impressed by poised moderator Chris Wallace. “That man has got my vote,” said Wills of the Fox News host, adding that Wallace seemed to have the best grasp of the issues of the three men onstage and didn’t lower himself to cheap attacks. “He seems like the only one up there who actually wants to talk seriously about things that ordinary Americans are concerned about, and he also has the right temperament for the job. When this debate started, I was definitely on the fence, but while Trump and Biden are up there bloviating, this Wallace guy is staying calm and asking good questions, plus he appears to really care about the answers. I’m voting Wallace for sure.” Wills added that he hadn’t made up his mind this early about who to vote for since the strong first-debate performance during the 2012 election by Jim Lehrer.

The Onion
chris wallace 2020 presidential debates

oscars

The Onion @TheOnion 240 Killed In Stampede After Bucketful Of Oscars Just Dumped On Stage trib.al/0YTHAQE #Oscars angy @trinzion · 1h Replying to @TheOnion I'm watching the Oscars and that didn't happen. You Fake News websites will do anything for clicks! ) 1
The Onion @TheOnion 240 Killed In Stampede After Bucketful Of Oscars Just Dumped On Stage trib.al/0YTHAQE #Oscars angy @trinzion · 1h Replying to @TheOnion I'm watching the Oscars and that didn't happen. You Fake News websites will do anything for clicks! ) 1

The Onion
oscars stampede /r/atetheonion

jennifer lawrence

The Onion @TheOnion 32m 9 Photos Of Jennifer Lawrence That Will Make You Reassess The Scope Of The 1986 Vienna Convention On The Law Of Treaties Between States And International Organizations bit.ly/3CZA4HX O 25 27310 O 1,893 walski Replying to @TheOnion she wasn't even alive in 1986 11:19 AM - 4/29/20 · Twitter for iPhone
The Onion @TheOnion 32m 9 Photos Of Jennifer Lawrence That Will Make You Reassess The Scope Of The 1986 Vienna Convention On The Law Of Treaties Between States And International Organizations bit.ly/3CZA4HX O 25 27310 O 1,893 walski Replying to @TheOnion she wasn't even alive in 1986 11:19 AM - 4/29/20 · Twitter for iPhone

The Onion
jennifer lawrence vienna convention /r/atetheonion

bernie sanders

@TheOnion 20 Feb Tanned, Exquisitely Coiffed Bernie Sanders Tells Supporters Corporations Actually Have A Lot To Offer trib.al/FNHATWV The Onion 128 27 1.2K 12.2K Karen Replying to @TheOnion This is PATHETIC!!!! Is he covering up the fact he falls asleep and has had a heart attack!? Dems need to kick his old arse to the curb NOW!
@TheOnion 20 Feb Tanned, Exquisitely Coiffed Bernie Sanders Tells Supporters Corporations Actually Have A Lot To Offer trib.al/FNHATWV The Onion 128 27 1.2K 12.2K Karen Replying to @TheOnion This is PATHETIC!!!! Is he covering up the fact he falls asleep and has had a heart attack!? Dems need to kick his old arse to the curb NOW!

The Onion
bernie sanders tanned /r/atetheonion

please sir

The Onion @TheOnion · 6m Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult trib.al/GU3CHSU 24 17 159 1K Replying to @TheOnion They can't do that, not what the judical system in this great country was meant for. @realDonaldTrump please help this girl. Please sir. 12:03 AM Feb 29, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone >
The Onion @TheOnion · 6m Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult trib.al/GU3CHSU 24 17 159 1K Replying to @TheOnion They can't do that, not what the judical system in this great country was meant for. @realDonaldTrump please help this girl. Please sir. 12:03 AM Feb 29, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone >

The Onion
judicial system donald trump white girl black adult /r/atetheonion

yogi bear statue

1 hr Oh are you kidding me???? LMAO JE RIK i THEONION.COM Heavily Armed Fans Guard Statue Of Yogi Bear In Case It Turns Out He Supported Confederacy
1 hr Oh are you kidding me???? LMAO JE RIK i THEONION.COM Heavily Armed Fans Guard Statue Of Yogi Bear In Case It Turns Out He Supported Confederacy

The Onion
confederacy statue yogi bear /r/atetheonion

very sad

THEONION.COM WHO Warns Covid-19 Could Mean End To Blowing Water Through Pool Noodle Into Friends' Faces O Like Comment A Share ib 3 Very sad that this what they use their "brilliant" minds for 3h Like Reply
THEONION.COM WHO Warns Covid-19 Could Mean End To Blowing Water Through Pool Noodle Into Friends' Faces O Like Comment A Share ib 3 Very sad that this what they use their "brilliant" minds for 3h Like Reply

The Onion
sad pool noodles minds /r/atetheonion

this isn't news

Leaf Ruined After Being Left Out In Rain This isn't news lol 5d 6 likes Reply
Leaf Ruined After Being Left Out In Rain This isn't news lol 5d 6 likes Reply

The Onion
news leaf ruined rain /r/atetheonion

joe rogan

Joe Rogan Starting To Make A Lot Of Sense To Man Who Gets All His News From Joe Rogan Still a more credible news source than the onion 17m 12 likes Reply
Joe Rogan Starting To Make A Lot Of Sense To Man Who Gets All His News From Joe Rogan Still a more credible news source than the onion 17m 12 likes Reply

The Onion
joe rogan credible news /r/atetheonion

owls on cocaine

i THEONION.COM Ornithologists Attribute Owls' Nocturnal Lifestyle To Hard Coc Habit 1.3K 91 Comments • 487 Shares Like Comment Share This is stupid just where do they think owls get coc? They're nocturnal because that's when they hunt.
i THEONION.COM Ornithologists Attribute Owls' Nocturnal Lifestyle To Hard Coc Habit 1.3K 91 Comments • 487 Shares Like Comment Share This is stupid just where do they think owls get coc? They're nocturnal because that's when they hunt.

The Onion
owls cocaine nocturnal /r/atetheonion

NFL

10:13 l LTE TTIC OTTOITV TTICOTOIT' 1Z/ Parents Sign Up Mitch Trubisky For Rec Soccer Team In Hopes He'll Develop Interest In Sports trib.al/5IHHD91 43 17550 O 2,975 Replying to @TheOnion He's already interested in sports idiets. He's a NFL player!!! 9:22 AM - 12/5/19 · Twitter for iPhone 5 Retweets and comments 12 Likes C 12/5/19 as and Replying to @TheOnion Someone help this man find a sense of humor Tweet your reply
10:13 l LTE TTIC OTTOITV TTICOTOIT' 1Z/ Parents Sign Up Mitch Trubisky For Rec Soccer Team In Hopes He'll Develop Interest In Sports trib.al/5IHHD91 43 17550 O 2,975 Replying to @TheOnion He's already interested in sports idiets. He's a NFL player!!! 9:22 AM - 12/5/19 · Twitter for iPhone 5 Retweets and comments 12 Likes C 12/5/19 as and Replying to @TheOnion Someone help this man find a sense of humor Tweet your reply

The Onion
nfl interest sports /r/atetheonion

professional poker player

@TheOnion 3h The Onion Panicking Professional Poker Player Suddenly Can't Remember Whether Ace Is Better Than King bit.ly/2CheDvl 28 27 118 O 1,607 Replying to @TheOnion how did he become a professional poker player without knowing something that basic? And how do you know what he was thinking anyway? I'm sceptical of this whole story
@TheOnion 3h The Onion Panicking Professional Poker Player Suddenly Can't Remember Whether Ace Is Better Than King bit.ly/2CheDvl 28 27 118 O 1,607 Replying to @TheOnion how did he become a professional poker player without knowing something that basic? And how do you know what he was thinking anyway? I'm sceptical of this whole story

The Onion
poker professional player /r/atetheonion

shame on him

The Onion Yesterday at 4:29 PM • "Man, this s--- never gets old." i THEONION.COM Zoom CEO Reclines Back In Chair In Front Of Massive Wall Of Screens Displaying 10 Milli.. Jocelyn Herrington This guy is nothing more than a snooper. Has no life of his own, so needs to feed on other people's life... shame on him!
The Onion Yesterday at 4:29 PM • "Man, this s--- never gets old." i THEONION.COM Zoom CEO Reclines Back In Chair In Front Of Massive Wall Of Screens Displaying 10 Milli.. Jocelyn Herrington This guy is nothing more than a snooper. Has no life of his own, so needs to feed on other people's life... shame on him!

The Onion
ceo zoom snooping /r/atetheonion

not an iphone

The Onion Mom Wants To Know What Kind Of iPhone She Has bit.ly/3€77MCA @TheOnion · 24m O 24 1.1K 66 L7 Replying to @TheOnion That's not a iphone 2:59 pm · 6 Jul 2020 · Twitter for iPhone IIII II
The Onion Mom Wants To Know What Kind Of iPhone She Has bit.ly/3€77MCA @TheOnion · 24m O 24 1.1K 66 L7 Replying to @TheOnion That's not a iphone 2:59 pm · 6 Jul 2020 · Twitter for iPhone IIII II

The Onion
iphone selfie /r/atetheonion

the radical left

The Onion O @TheOnion 19h New Environmentally Friendly Burial Involves Having Your Dead Body Eaten By Wealthy German Man With Taste For The Exotic bit.ly/ 2CIKEgj 79 17 571 3,800 Replying to @TheOnion This is AWFUL!! The radical left has agiain ruined a beautiful ceremony. This time it's the ceremony of a burial 18:25 · 29 Jun 20 · Twitter for iPhone >
The Onion O @TheOnion 19h New Environmentally Friendly Burial Involves Having Your Dead Body Eaten By Wealthy German Man With Taste For The Exotic bit.ly/ 2CIKEgj 79 17 571 3,800 Replying to @TheOnion This is AWFUL!! The radical left has agiain ruined a beautiful ceremony. This time it's the ceremony of a burial 18:25 · 29 Jun 20 · Twitter for iPhone >

The Onion
radical left wealthy german man bodies /r/atetheonion burial