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Voldemort @ib 2cute Follow My baby made me an imaginary pizza. I started eating it saying "mmmm it's so good." She said, "You didn't take it out the box" 6:42 PM - Oct 8, 2023 3M Views 415 11K 130K 1.5K go

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Amy Colleen @sewistwrites Follow Whenever my 3yo says, "Mommy WUVS to have drinks for GROWN-UPS" I feel a mild stab of regret that we chose this term to discourage him from constantly asking to try my seltzer 6:48 PM · Oct 24, 2023 · 117.4K Views 54 17 87 4.5K ☐ 45 80

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Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow Made one of those cute white board signs for my sons first day of preschool. Left the room and came back and he'd erased it and drawn "a big building that's on fire" instead. 4:39 AM Sep 8, 2023 249.3K Views n 75 162 7.6K 44 go

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Kristen Howerton @kristenhowerton I had to walk behind my teenager ... during his zoom class in order to go to the bathroom and now his peers know that he has parents. THAT HE LIVES WITH. He's obviously very upset. Please send him your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

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Whattsserrname @whattsserrname Follow When I clean the house, I involve my 2 year old and he loves it. Yesterday, my the little guy came to me and proudly said "I cleandy up for you!” (I cleaned up for you) GUYS, He "cleaned" the tv with a sanding sponge

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Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow I told my 3yo Elliot I saw a deer in our yard & he goes "I'll tell the other Elliots" and I laughed, then later he explained he said that bc in an ep of Thomas a diesel train named Diesel said "ill tell the other diesels" which is smart but also how confusing must it be to be 3 5:05 AM Oct 3, 2023 1.7M Views 101 tz 2.2K 69K ☐ 1K go

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When I was 5 my mom got an elf on the shelf and told me it was watching to see if I was bad. I was so scared I decided to kill it and I snuck out, stole the elf on the shelf, and then ripped it's arms up and hid it in the grass under my window. Then lied about it when questioned. 10:14 PM • 7/6/21 Twitter Web App

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Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 11:03 AM 11/17/24 1.6M Views 440 1 5.6K 88K 1.6K <]

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Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow This morning my 3yo was mad and told me he wanted a different mama and I said "what kind of mama do you want?" And he said "one who wears a black suit". I think about the ways I'm failing as a parent a lot but I hadn't even considered that it's bc I don't have a black suit. 9:24 PM Oct 9, 2023 2.7M Views • 192 2.9K 86K 1.1K до

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Follow My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye" RETWEETS LIKES 18,327 38,100 8:23 PM-6 May 2017 <-280 27 18K 38K

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Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks My toddler ran out of waffles in her pretend restaurant this morning right after she served. everyone besides me and that's about the biggest f you she's ever given

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Bess Kalb @bessbell Follow Thrilled to announce that instead of saying X "What are you doing?" my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, "What have you done?"

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Henpecked Hal @Henpecked Hal · Follow • X Things that made my toddler cry this week: - wants all of her fingers to be the same length - I wouldn't let her eat a sponge - her feet were sandy (we were at the beach) - she doesn't want to be an only child (her brother "does not count") How about your kid?

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Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, "maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory. Posted in r/oddlyspecific by u/Sad_Stay_5471 reddit

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My Life As Dad @milifeasdad Follow 5YO: Daddy, did you play Roblox as a kid? 8YO: *Interrupting* He didn't have Roblox when he was kid. He would just play outside. *Both start laughing* 5:40 PM - May 21, 2023 63.8K Views

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Viral Tweets. See more Lucy Huber ❤ @clhubes 21h The funniest thing that's ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went "Can you feed me?" and my son, through massive sobs, goes "no I can't right now, dinosaur" and continued screaming 348 t 10K 164.4K go

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@alanadimario.bsky.social @AlanaDimario Follow Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." 10:51 PM - Jun 20, 2022 from Narragansett, RI

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Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan Follow My niece Phoebe (2.5) has been talking about a "mermaid store" for weeks, to everyone's befuddlement. Finally last week she points and yells in the car, "MERMAID STORE, MERMAID STORE"!!" 12:40 PM - 11/21/24 - 289K Views 22 17263 11K 339 ↑ Most relevant replies ✓ Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan .7h Reader, this was the mermaid store Clearance 14'5 3.$69 99 7-ELEVEN Regular 35 Mare

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Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 10:03 PM 17 Nov 24 2.8M Views • 8,082 Reposts 989 Quotes 152K Likes 2,975 Bookmarks

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No Context Brits @NoContextBrits 3d Say something nice about the UK. 8,766 113.3K 7,332 Arup Roychoudhury → @aruproytweets Replying to @NoContextBrits You guys created the largest number of independance days around the world. 8:15 pm 22 Mar 22 Twitter for Android .

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