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That time of the year

Ross @coachross525 It's officially that "wear a sweater in the morning regret it in the afternoon" type of weather.
Ross @coachross525 It's officially that "wear a sweater in the morning regret it in the afternoon" type of weather.

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Sounds like a win

scotty @notnotscotty ** "They're taking our jobs and they're bringing drugs into our country" well that's convenient because I love drugs and I hate working
scotty @notnotscotty ** "They're taking our jobs and they're bringing drugs into our country" well that's convenient because I love drugs and I hate working

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Whoops

I KEVIN KAVANAGHI @Kevinkavanagho Some customer on the phone was saying i was very helpful and way better than the person he was speaking to yesterday who was also me
I KEVIN KAVANAGHI @Kevinkavanagho Some customer on the phone was saying i was very helpful and way better than the person he was speaking to yesterday who was also me

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She was onto something

Unemployed Astronaut @MilfParade Remembering a girl I used to work with who didn't believe in dinosaurs, not for religious reasons but bc “It's just so silly…..” Any time I tried to get her to elaborate, she'd be like "I mean...big monsters? Like... and mime being a T-Rex until she was giggling too much to breathe
Unemployed Astronaut @MilfParade Remembering a girl I used to work with who didn't believe in dinosaurs, not for religious reasons but bc “It's just so silly…..” Any time I tried to get her to elaborate, she'd be like "I mean...big monsters? Like... and mime being a T-Rex until she was giggling too much to breathe

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Please put it back

Graham Marbles @gWinbags Holy s t PUT IT BACK Archaeologists Have Unearthed a 4,000-Year-Old Board Game. Now They Just Have to Figure Out the Rules
Graham Marbles @gWinbags Holy s t PUT IT BACK Archaeologists Have Unearthed a 4,000-Year-Old Board Game. Now They Just Have to Figure Out the Rules

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You can do that, if you want

Robert Bowling @fourzerotwo After sitting with me for 10 mins, my son stands up and says, "I'm going to go... do... better stuff." And straight up walked away and now I'm wondering why I never thought of doing this for every social interaction I've ever had.
Robert Bowling @fourzerotwo After sitting with me for 10 mins, my son stands up and says, "I'm going to go... do... better stuff." And straight up walked away and now I'm wondering why I never thought of doing this for every social interaction I've ever had.

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What does that even mean?

the hype R @TheHyyyype someone on this conference call just said "the ball's in our court so we'll touch base internally and then follow up to get on the same page" and for a moment i seriously thought i was listening to a parody of a meeting
the hype R @TheHyyyype someone on this conference call just said "the ball's in our court so we'll touch base internally and then follow up to get on the same page" and for a moment i seriously thought i was listening to a parody of a meeting

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So enraging

Laurie Voss @seldo Nothing to drive me into a murderous rage than spending 30 minutes in a phone queue to perform a task that cannot be completed on the website while a recorded voice reminds me every 30 seconds that the website is convenient and fun.
Laurie Voss @seldo Nothing to drive me into a murderous rage than spending 30 minutes in a phone queue to perform a task that cannot be completed on the website while a recorded voice reminds me every 30 seconds that the website is convenient and fun.

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He has a point

Kit Yates @Kit_Yates_Maths I'm sorry, but you can't *always* be experiencing a higher volume of calls than average. That's not how averages work.
Kit Yates @Kit_Yates_Maths I'm sorry, but you can't *always* be experiencing a higher volume of calls than average. That's not how averages work.

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It all comes down to that...

It all comes down to that...
It all comes down to that...

Twitter / X
technically the truth technically true can't argue with that facepalm true technically not wrong

Two kinds of kids

Jessie @mommajessiec I have one intelligent child who is designing a parachute and, putting this as politely as I can, I have another child willing to try the parachute.
Jessie @mommajessiec I have one intelligent child who is designing a parachute and, putting this as politely as I can, I have another child willing to try the parachute.

Twitter / X
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At least he asked

Jenny Pentland GED @JennyPentland My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark "MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!" 8:31 PM 6/19/21 Twitter for iPhone
Jenny Pentland GED @JennyPentland My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark "MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!" 8:31 PM 6/19/21 Twitter for iPhone

Twitter / X
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That's one way to do things

Luciux Riker @Luciuxness When my son was 4 he saw a commercial that said "brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay" so he made us start brushing our teeth with him. It's been 3 years. Nobody tell him.
Luciux Riker @Luciuxness When my son was 4 he saw a commercial that said "brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay" so he made us start brushing our teeth with him. It's been 3 years. Nobody tell him.

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Kids...

When I was 4 my dad got pulled over and I screamed "I have to p !!!" and the cop let my dad go. When he took me to the bathroom my dad couldn't stop laughing after I told him I didn't have to p I, just didn't want him to get a ticket. Sure hope my kids return the favor Q96 179.6K ❤82K 山 ធ Follow When i was 6, my dad got pulled over by a female officer for speeding. I chimed in by saying "well, you were going pretty fast daddy"... I only did it because she was pretty and I wanted her to like me. She let him off with a warning. You're SO welcome Dad.
When I was 4 my dad got pulled over and I screamed "I have to p !!!" and the cop let my dad go. When he took me to the bathroom my dad couldn't stop laughing after I told him I didn't have to p I, just didn't want him to get a ticket. Sure hope my kids return the favor Q96 179.6K ❤82K 山 ធ Follow When i was 6, my dad got pulled over by a female officer for speeding. I chimed in by saying "well, you were going pretty fast daddy"... I only did it because she was pretty and I wanted her to like me. She let him off with a warning. You're SO welcome Dad.

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Thanks, gramps

Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters.bsky.social I was having a rough day and trying to gain some perspective, so I asked my 85 year old grandpa if things have always been this hard and he literally said "no and I'm glad I won't be here much longer." Good luck out there, kids.
Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters.bsky.social I was having a rough day and trying to gain some perspective, so I asked my 85 year old grandpa if things have always been this hard and he literally said "no and I'm glad I won't be here much longer." Good luck out there, kids.

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Shhh...

Paradox @Corrode... 1d Ø Nobody tell my boss I'm drawing shrimp on the clock CORRODEDPARWOOX 78 175.2K 88.9K 838K %
Paradox @Corrode... 1d Ø Nobody tell my boss I'm drawing shrimp on the clock CORRODEDPARWOOX 78 175.2K 88.9K 838K %

Twitter / X
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