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Makes no sense

15:59 1 × • NO 4G *60% ← 串文 62,166次瀏覽 21小時 I wanna know why "Z" is "Zed" in Canada.. I thought y'all spoke English?? 55 Q525 © 2 ☑ 追蹤
15:59 1 × • NO 4G *60% ← 串文 62,166次瀏覽 21小時 I wanna know why "Z" is "Zed" in Canada.. I thought y'all spoke English?? 55 Q525 © 2 ☑ 追蹤

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america americans things americans say facepalm 'murica

Only two lanes? Lame

Y'all this was just my view coming from Mendoza, Argentina out over Lake Potrerillos I think I may cry 1,5K Q 39 1 32 ☑ + 5h Yeah, I think I'm going to cry too. Your freeways are only tw lanes? In Phoenix, they're twelve lanes. Just saying. Beautiful mountain lake. If you're into beautiful mountain lakes. 1
Y'all this was just my view coming from Mendoza, Argentina out over Lake Potrerillos I think I may cry 1,5K Q 39 1 32 ☑ + 5h Yeah, I think I'm going to cry too. Your freeways are only tw lanes? In Phoenix, they're twelve lanes. Just saying. Beautiful mountain lake. If you're into beautiful mountain lakes. 1

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america americans things americans say facepalm 'murica

Bye, y'all

Diego @diegxrubixe Used to sneak out my house to go to parties, now I sneak out of parties to go to my house
Diego @diegxrubixe Used to sneak out my house to go to parties, now I sneak out of parties to go to my house

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That's ACTUALLY happening?!

Natalie @jbfan911 I could never be a 911 operator. Whenever someone would call I'd be like OMG
Natalie @jbfan911 I could never be a 911 operator. Whenever someone would call I'd be like OMG

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Think about it

jon drake @DrakeGatsby Going to therapy - Expensive - - Hard work - Have to talk to a person Saying "Okie dokie, artichokie" - Free - Requires zero self-reflection - Eventually people will stop trying to talk to you entirely
jon drake @DrakeGatsby Going to therapy - Expensive - - Hard work - Have to talk to a person Saying "Okie dokie, artichokie" - Free - Requires zero self-reflection - Eventually people will stop trying to talk to you entirely

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Miss that

Ygrene @Ygrene remember when the fbi would threaten you at the beginning of every vhs tape, that was pretty cool 5:09 PM 2023-01-21 315K Views 16.2K Likes 1,136 Retweets 35 Quotes ...
Ygrene @Ygrene remember when the fbi would threaten you at the beginning of every vhs tape, that was pretty cool 5:09 PM 2023-01-21 315K Views 16.2K Likes 1,136 Retweets 35 Quotes ...

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Always something to say

Pooja Sanwal @poojaasanwal i was talking to my best friend the other day and i realised the reason why i never run out of things to talk about with her is because i have the liberty and comfort to verbalize the constant stream of thoughts in my head without the fear of being subject to judgement
Pooja Sanwal @poojaasanwal i was talking to my best friend the other day and i realised the reason why i never run out of things to talk about with her is because i have the liberty and comfort to verbalize the constant stream of thoughts in my head without the fear of being subject to judgement

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Can't recall

b @the_petshopboy Me at work tomorrow for the first time in two weeks trying to remember what it is I do.
b @the_petshopboy Me at work tomorrow for the first time in two weeks trying to remember what it is I do.

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It was just a prank

joe heenan @joeheenan 10 years ago today, I married my best friend... My wife's still really angry about it but me & Dave were drunk & thought it was funny
joe heenan @joeheenan 10 years ago today, I married my best friend... My wife's still really angry about it but me & Dave were drunk & thought it was funny

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Somehow they do it

lola @bolaluncher 600 Every year on NYE I think "no way they can turn this number into glasses" and every year I am wrong
lola @bolaluncher 600 Every year on NYE I think "no way they can turn this number into glasses" and every year I am wrong

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Sorry?

slate @PleaseBeGneiss landlord: your income needs to be 3x rent me: can you tell my boss that
slate @PleaseBeGneiss landlord: your income needs to be 3x rent me: can you tell my boss that

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Well well well...

Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman well, well, well if it isn't all my "we'll deal with it in January" chickens home to roost
Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman well, well, well if it isn't all my "we'll deal with it in January" chickens home to roost

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It makes sense

Eleanor Margolis @EleanorMargolis why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe
Eleanor Margolis @EleanorMargolis why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe

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Funny how that works

Kevin Kunkel @kunkelcomedy College is such an unbelievable transformation. You leave home at 18, still a child. Just 4 years later you emerge a fully formed alcoholic child with 5 figure debt.
Kevin Kunkel @kunkelcomedy College is such an unbelievable transformation. You leave home at 18, still a child. Just 4 years later you emerge a fully formed alcoholic child with 5 figure debt.

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Amazing system

Stacey @skittle624 I'm so glad I pay for a million different streaming services and none of the movies I'm looking for are free.
Stacey @skittle624 I'm so glad I pay for a million different streaming services and none of the movies I'm looking for are free.

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How rude

Troy Johnson @_troyjohnson You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
Troy Johnson @_troyjohnson You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."

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For real

7k @7kDevaun Rather have a 500k honeymoon than a 500k wedding. JAMAICAN Shelly-Ann's Hamstrings. @_nxzxj Rather have 500k. *** B
7k @7kDevaun Rather have a 500k honeymoon than a 500k wedding. JAMAICAN Shelly-Ann's Hamstrings. @_nxzxj Rather have 500k. *** B

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Hated that spoon

Could really go for one of these bad boys right now. Only if it comes with the wooden spoon, though. The wood is half the flavor.
Could really go for one of these bad boys right now. Only if it comes with the wooden spoon, though. The wood is half the flavor.

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It's on him

Jon @ArfMeasures Genie: you have 17 wishes Me: isn't it normally 3?? Genie: yeah but *vaguely gestures to me* lot of issues here
Jon @ArfMeasures Genie: you have 17 wishes Me: isn't it normally 3?? Genie: yeah but *vaguely gestures to me* lot of issues here

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Cheese...

Yasha ♡ @yashatovah Yeah, olive oil and cheese and pastries can make you a little fat. Yeah, sunshine gives you wrinkles and wine ruins your liver and spending money on pretty things eats up your savings. But unfortunately, I've decided to enjoy life anyways
Yasha ♡ @yashatovah Yeah, olive oil and cheese and pastries can make you a little fat. Yeah, sunshine gives you wrinkles and wine ruins your liver and spending money on pretty things eats up your savings. But unfortunately, I've decided to enjoy life anyways

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