Copypasta

Epic. Was shopping for lingerie with my cousin when a man with no teeth offered me a surprise. Being the surpise-lover that I am, I graciously accepted his offer. His body then tore open, revealing hundreds of thousands of fleas that immediately flew up my nose. I am the new host. I am truly blessed to shelter such divine creatures as these. Together we shall spread our love across the galaxy, uniting all under our rule. What a wonderful existence this is.

1/5 would not shop again

Origin

During the events of the Soddy-Daisy Walmart Raid, hundreds of users submitted various memes and copypastas in an attempt to lower the overall review score of the aforementioned Walmart. At this time, one of the reviewers, Leocayn, submitted the copypasta as a joke review to the Soddy Daisy Walmart page.

Spread

The short copypasta spread quickly, with many reviewers partaking in the Walmart Raid beginning to paste it themselves. Dozens of instances of the story began appearing in the Walmart's review sections before spreading onto the social media app, iFunny. From there, it began filling the comment section of the initial image that coordinated the attack in the first place. The story continued to be pasted into the Walmart reviews until its staff eventually removed every iteration of the copypasta from their pages. The copypasta did continue to circulate throughout iFunny, however.