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What Do We Mean When We Say “Toxic Masculinity?” by Luke Humphris

$TOXIC MASCULINITY' IS A POPULAR & CONTROVERSIAL TERM RIGHT NOW IN CONTEMPORARY CULTURE, BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN? IT'S HOW A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY IS HARMFUL TO MEN BY DENYING UNMASCULINE TRAITS AND REWARDING ANGER, VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTIVE HABITS THE GENERAL MISCONCEPTION 1 HEAR IS THAT IT MEANS 'MASCULINITY TOXICITY, WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NOT THE CASE. TOXIC MASCULINITY IS ACTUALLY A SOCIAL SCIENCE TERM DESCRIBING SOME PRETTY NEGATIVE SOCIALLY CONSTRUCTED ATTITUDES TOWARDS THE MALE GENDER ROLE LEFT UNATTENDED, TOXIC MASCULINITY CAN CAUSE MEN TO HURT THEMSELVES OR OTHERS LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S AFFECTED ME MY BROTHER AND I WERE TOLD WHEN WE WERE VERY YOUNG NOT TO CRY OVER BANGED UP KNEES OR HURT FEELINGS HOBBIES THAT WERE PERCEIVED AS FEMININE -LIKE COOKING, DANCING AND SINGING WERE MET WITH A FEW LAUGHS BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, SO WE STOPPED DOING THEM \タ IN FACT, THERE NEVER WAS AN APPROPRIATE TIME TO CRY. THERE CAME A SILENT PRIDE IN BEING RESILIENT I BECAME EMBARRASSED ABOUT MY INTERESTS BEFORE I'D EVEN SHARED THEM. IF I FELT THEY WERE NOT MASCULINE,I WOULD KEEP THEM TO MYSELF IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP AS AN ADULT,I RECEIVED A BLACK EYE AND A SPLIT LIP 、WAS OPEN WITH A FEW PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED WHEN I HIT MY LOWEST POINTDRINKING TOO MUCH, STAYING IN BED ALL DAY -I EMAILED MY DAD TO EXPLAIN 1 WAS STUCK AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT THE ANSWER WAS JUST TO BE STRONG NO ONE OFFERED HELP IT FELT IMPLIED THAT IT WAS MY OWN INEPTITUDE WHICH LET IT HAPPEN PUTTING UP A TOUGH EXTERIOR IS A GREAT WAY TO MAKE PEOPLE NOT WORRY ABOUT YOU BUT THAT IS ALL IT DOES AND THEN THERE WAS MY BIG BROTHER WHOI LOOKED UP TO. IN MY EYES HE WAS SUPERIOR STRONGER I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS SUFFERING: HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT HIS TROUBLES E TOOK HIS OWN LIFE AT THE FUNERAL I HEARD MY GRANDFATHER TELL MY DAD TO TOUGHEN UP AND BE STRONG EVEN AT YOUR OWN SON'S FUNERAL IT WAS UNACCEPTABLE TO MOURN OR LET IT OUT EVEN AT HIS AGE, DAD WAS STILL ENCOURAGED TO BURY IT ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE OPEN WITH YOUR VULNERABILITIES, EMOTIONS AND CONCERNS IS NOT A WEAKNESS. WHEN YOU ARE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND AND ADDRESS THESE THINGS, YOU CAN IMPROVE YOURSELF AND OVERCOME LIFE'S MANY ISSUES AND THAT IS TOXIC YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMETHING IF YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE IT EXISTS. IF YOU NEED HELP, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ASK FOR IT, NO MATTER YOUR GENDER. IT DOES NOT SHOW FRAGILITY TO TALK YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID I DON'T BELIEVE THE ANSWER IS TO REJECT MASCULINE IDEALS, BUT TO REDEFINE WHAT THEY MEAN TO US. NOT JUDGING GENDEFR THROUGH A NARROW PRISM, RATHER ACCEPTING THE MYRIAD OF WAYS OF BOYS, MEN EVERYONE!) EXPRESS THEMSELVES ONLY YOU GET TO DECIDE THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BE, OTHER PEOPLE'S TOXIC GENDER EXPECTATIONS SHOULD PLAY NO ROLE IN THAT LUKE HUMPHRIS$