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Once upon a time... a happy relationship (6 years long) and then... le gf gets all jealous and angry with no reason CHEATED * le gf le me F-- OW THIST babe i haven't done anything i swear to you but i'm so sorry if hurt your feelings please tell me what i did and i promess never do it again *3 months later, she went study in germany bye babe, in three months i'll go visit you, i love *i REALLY wasn't cheating on her [you SO much and NEVER cheated and after a 1 of begging (6 months) we were fine again* bye babe months later, i get to germany and sense the things a little strange we're cool, right? if something has happened, u can tell me, i'11 understand sure, i love you forever, everythin is fine! that's great! i love you more than ever, i'm so happy by your side, i wanna be forever with you!!! actually she lied, she cheated me with tons of guys while in germany and a i've discovered it by myself while still in germany True Story

Once upon a time... a happy relationship (6 years long) and then... le gf gets all jealous and angry with no reason CHEATED * le gf le me F-- OW THIST babe i haven't done anything i swear to you but i'm so sorry if hurt your feelings please tell me what i did and i promess never do it again *3 months later, she went study in germany bye babe, in three months i'll go visit you, i love *i REALLY wasn't cheating on her [you SO much and NEVER cheated and after a 1 of begging (6 months) we were fine again* bye babe months later, i get to germany and sense the things a little strange we're cool, right? if something has happened, u can tell me, i'11 understand sure, i love you forever, everythin is fine! that's great! i love you more than ever, i'm so happy by your side, i wanna be forever with you!!! actually she lied, she cheated me with tons of guys while in germany and a i've discovered it by myself while still in germany True Story

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At the factory

*me at a friends wedding Hey derp did you check out the chocolate fountain? Me Augustus *Slip on randorm troll dark matter True Story

*me at a friends wedding Hey derp did you check out the chocolate fountain? Me Augustus *Slip on randorm troll dark matter True Story

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I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the day *Heading out to my job which I hate* *Suddenly an Idea appears* Maybe I'11 get fired! I know I'1l get wasted and come into work drunk! 7 *I proceed to get my drink on* LATER My boss appears* Thank yo...u miss... have a amazing day! Herp the customers have been telling me how wel1 you 've been doing. Good Job! Awww. . .Thank you for being so sweet. I'm at work? ) /rue Story

I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the day *Heading out to my job which I hate* *Suddenly an Idea appears* Maybe I'11 get fired! I know I'1l get wasted and come into work drunk! 7 *I proceed to get my drink on* LATER My boss appears* Thank yo...u miss... have a amazing day! Herp the customers have been telling me how wel1 you 've been doing. Good Job! Awww. . .Thank you for being so sweet. I'm at work? ) /rue Story

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Me, derping around with friends who dragged me to Transformers 3, waiting for the movie to start Everyone quiets down as .. le random dude in the audience* *a wild title screen appears!*"WHAT THE F---?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS CARS 2!" LOL LOL And then the movie sucked LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL -) True Story

Me, derping around with friends who dragged me to Transformers 3, waiting for the movie to start Everyone quiets down as .. le random dude in the audience* *a wild title screen appears!*"WHAT THE F---?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS CARS 2!" LOL LOL And then the movie sucked LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL -) True Story

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Doritos D-10 AF1 6 BG2 7 CH3 8 DJ4 9 E K 10 AF1 6 BG2 7 CH3 8 D J4 9 E K 10 Zer.. What? One. . . ( ) True Story SUNMAID RAISINS D-1

Doritos D-10 AF1 6 BG2 7 CH3 8 DJ4 9 E K 10 AF1 6 BG2 7 CH3 8 D J4 9 E K 10 Zer.. What? One. . . ( ) True Story SUNMAID RAISINS D-1

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i am so broke blahblahblah i *le boyfriend's mom can't even take my weekly shopping trip to buy junk i don't le me le boyfrind. driving down the road need, we need to make some money oh! can you stop at that gas station so i can buy some cigarettes and lottery tickets? True Story happens every week

i am so broke blahblahblah i *le boyfriend's mom can't even take my weekly shopping trip to buy junk i don't le me le boyfrind. driving down the road need, we need to make some money oh! can you stop at that gas station so i can buy some cigarettes and lottery tickets? True Story happens every week

广。 erpette, Derp's gotta crush on you Derpette Me Me (Derp), Herp, Derpette, Derpina, and Herpette talking about crap at school Me Shrugs the accusation off like it's nothing. rue Story That would have been the perfect opportunity to get

广。 erpette, Derp's gotta crush on you Derpette Me Me (Derp), Herp, Derpette, Derpina, and Herpette talking about crap at school Me Shrugs the accusation off like it's nothing. rue Story That would have been the perfect opportunity to get

Driving along, doing the speed limit. What's this up here? Me Terrified citizens Troll cop driving 15 under going slow Space in front of me frees up Pass troll-cop at 5 over like a boss. And nothing happened. True Story F--- YEA

Driving along, doing the speed limit. What's this up here? Me Terrified citizens Troll cop driving 15 under going slow Space in front of me frees up Pass troll-cop at 5 over like a boss. And nothing happened. True Story F--- YEA

le no at ny work darping round* you're the co-vorkar who hey derp. I know le stupid fenale thinks she's superior but don'txprt on know s---* I need to buy a new laptop Think can help me? now the off course products and places to buy then I wnat to buy good stuff best stuff for the best price.and I want to spend my money will even talk to some friends vel1 know so they can nake a special price Nell, whatever. Do what you Hey herpina I got you a list of the best stuff so you can decide which one you will buy 3 Days Later.. NTF?? After al1 ny wor search to find you the best stuff you're telling ne you von 't need it anynore?? what? oh right about that. I von 't need that anymore y a laptop from a guy I What?2 never have seen in ny life. HeYoue going to buy a second-hand contacted ne on the internet and he have a second-hand1 veek laptop and it's pretty cheap computer fron soneone you don 't know? It can be a scan or it can be danaged. Bla bla bla bla* s:the price asn't that cheap* It's ny noney. I do what I want This guy is trust worthy I know he is Then why do you needed help and advice? I could have done it nyseit I just wanted sone opinion sinceand I'n curious about what s--- you'ra the conputer nan here I have nothing to do tonight is she's buying The guy will be at night in her treet. Can you come with me? Pine I will go, But I don't like Why are you always saying crap?7 this. When buying stuff fron internet you should neet the person at places with lots people like shopping malls for example I know thi8 i8 fine. And I' doing a good business Let's go Hey guYS 2:00 MIDNIGHT orSomethin like that NK You have the noney?? Sure. It's in the back of ny car Cone with ne Sure. You have the Now give ne the f------ noney before I blast your brains out* opens le car Trunk* Looks like I'n kidding bitch?? Quick, before I lose ny patience You are f------ kidding ne Gets in the car and hits the aroad at full speed I could have been killed, r---- or kidnapped because of this stubbo b bitch I'm going home F--- you.Becuse of your stupidity our 1ife was in danger Learn to listen to other people who know their stuff You re not going to the police with me? The police wil1 call if they need ne-Bye

le no at ny work darping round* you're the co-vorkar who hey derp. I know le stupid fenale thinks she's superior but don'txprt on know s---* I need to buy a new laptop Think can help me? now the off course products and places to buy then I wnat to buy good stuff best stuff for the best price.and I want to spend my money will even talk to some friends vel1 know so they can nake a special price Nell, whatever. Do what you Hey herpina I got you a list of the best stuff so you can decide which one you will buy 3 Days Later.. NTF?? After al1 ny wor search to find you the best stuff you're telling ne you von 't need it anynore?? what? oh right about that. I von 't need that anymore y a laptop from a guy I What?2 never have seen in ny life. HeYoue going to buy a second-hand contacted ne on the internet and he have a second-hand1 veek laptop and it's pretty cheap computer fron soneone you don 't know? It can be a scan or it can be danaged. Bla bla bla bla* s:the price asn't that cheap* It's ny noney. I do what I want This guy is trust worthy I know he is Then why do you needed help and advice? I could have done it nyseit I just wanted sone opinion sinceand I'n curious about what s--- you'ra the conputer nan here I have nothing to do tonight is she's buying The guy will be at night in her treet. Can you come with me? Pine I will go, But I don't like Why are you always saying crap?7 this. When buying stuff fron internet you should neet the person at places with lots people like shopping malls for example I know thi8 i8 fine. And I' doing a good business Let's go Hey guYS 2:00 MIDNIGHT orSomethin like that NK You have the noney?? Sure. It's in the back of ny car Cone with ne Sure. You have the Now give ne the f------ noney before I blast your brains out* opens le car Trunk* Looks like I'n kidding bitch?? Quick, before I lose ny patience You are f------ kidding ne Gets in the car and hits the aroad at full speed I could have been killed, r---- or kidnapped because of this stubbo b bitch I'm going home F--- you.Becuse of your stupidity our 1ife was in danger Learn to listen to other people who know their stuff You re not going to the police with me? The police wil1 call if they need ne-Bye

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Class 1: Psychology Me on two hours ot sleep from writing papers Professor Derp: "Okay class, today we will be watching an educational film from 1964" "Alright, two classes, and then I can sleep F----- ACTUALLY CHALLENGE ACCEPTED IMADE IT!!!! TWO HOURS LATER Class 2: Music History Now just one more class... Proffesor Derpet: "Okay class, today we're going to listen to a lecture on 13th Century chant:s and listen to some examples NOW F-----

Class 1: Psychology Me on two hours ot sleep from writing papers Professor Derp: "Okay class, today we will be watching an educational film from 1964" "Alright, two classes, and then I can sleep F----- ACTUALLY CHALLENGE ACCEPTED IMADE IT!!!! TWO HOURS LATER Class 2: Music History Now just one more class... Proffesor Derpet: "Okay class, today we're going to listen to a lecture on 13th Century chant:s and listen to some examples NOW F-----

*me eating chips* hip ) Tru e Story

*me eating chips* hip ) Tru e Story

"Hun, our push mower is broken, we just bought this new house with a huge lawn, we should look for a used riding mower "searches kijiji for riding mower" "I guess. 치e me e wife "Hun! Look at this one! It's in good condition and the guy lives 5 minutes away. Call him and see if he has a way of transporting it to us" drive it home since it's kind of close..." "You know, don't want to drive that through town and have everyone stare at on the riding mower" "It'll be FINE! There probably wont be anyone at the intersection don't worry about it!" the fat guy gigglegiggle* TWENT MINUTES LATER oO(This isn't so bad...just got to get over the bridge and past the intersection unnoticed!) *drives over bridge toward intersection You gotta be f------ kidding me.... True Story

"Hun, our push mower is broken, we just bought this new house with a huge lawn, we should look for a used riding mower "searches kijiji for riding mower" "I guess. 치e me e wife "Hun! Look at this one! It's in good condition and the guy lives 5 minutes away. Call him and see if he has a way of transporting it to us" drive it home since it's kind of close..." "You know, don't want to drive that through town and have everyone stare at on the riding mower" "It'll be FINE! There probably wont be anyone at the intersection don't worry about it!" the fat guy gigglegiggle* TWENT MINUTES LATER oO(This isn't so bad...just got to get over the bridge and past the intersection unnoticed!) *drives over bridge toward intersection You gotta be f------ kidding me.... True Story

Severe T-Storm- Warning Havn't had a storm with a lot of thuder and lightening in awhile, can't wait for the fireworks Come hound, to the bunker 曰 And the night was survived RAGE BUILDER.COM

Severe T-Storm- Warning Havn't had a storm with a lot of thuder and lightening in awhile, can't wait for the fireworks Come hound, to the bunker 曰 And the night was survived RAGE BUILDER.COM

TRUESTORY

TRUESTORY

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Doritos D-10 0 EKS10 G27 Zer. What? One.. ) crue Story LAID D-1 RAGE BUILDER.COM

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suddenly, a wild bitchy waitress appears!* "Derp, this a------ regular of mine wantS his steak burnt to a crisp!" le me, at wor cooking like a bosS CHALLENGE ACCEPTED "That is a waste of meat bordering on sacrilage.. However this is a yestaurant "Shouldn' t you be out on the floor instead of bothering me?" "Just don't f--- up Derp, I hate this guy soo much, he hardly tips me and I really need some cash sO I can go herping with..." "peace at last Ok then.." A------!" 15 LATER LATER "Derp, I just passed by and saw the steak you sent out! So help me, if it gets sent back then you're outta here! An angry manager. appears!* "s---.'" "Well great! he wants to see a manager, there goes my tip!, thanks a lot Derp!" TWELVE aug SECONDS LATER "f---." "Karma 's a bitch eh Derp? Nice knowing you!" A FEW MOMENTS LATER "Great job Derp! He said it was the best steak he's ever had "But he didn't even tip AND he wanted to tip you $20! me at all!" Here you go! Hell I think you deserve a raise to boot!" "Oh, Herpina, he also said that he rcceived the worst service he's had in years You're Fired." "Hey Herpina. ." "WHAT?!" "Nice knowing you!" EVERYTHING WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED True Story

suddenly, a wild bitchy waitress appears!* "Derp, this a------ regular of mine wantS his steak burnt to a crisp!" le me, at wor cooking like a bosS CHALLENGE ACCEPTED "That is a waste of meat bordering on sacrilage.. However this is a yestaurant "Shouldn' t you be out on the floor instead of bothering me?" "Just don't f--- up Derp, I hate this guy soo much, he hardly tips me and I really need some cash sO I can go herping with..." "peace at last Ok then.." A------!" 15 LATER LATER "Derp, I just passed by and saw the steak you sent out! So help me, if it gets sent back then you're outta here! An angry manager. appears!* "s---.'" "Well great! he wants to see a manager, there goes my tip!, thanks a lot Derp!" TWELVE aug SECONDS LATER "f---." "Karma 's a bitch eh Derp? Nice knowing you!" A FEW MOMENTS LATER "Great job Derp! He said it was the best steak he's ever had "But he didn't even tip AND he wanted to tip you $20! me at all!" Here you go! Hell I think you deserve a raise to boot!" "Oh, Herpina, he also said that he rcceived the worst service he's had in years You're Fired." "Hey Herpina. ." "WHAT?!" "Nice knowing you!" EVERYTHING WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED True Story

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*Gamederp cler Bro and I at GameDerp. He got a used copy of Assassin's Creed 2 that is totally messed up. Wants to get a new one Yeah, we can't do s--- If you don't have the receipt *Me BIO Uhhhh no. We can see your Can't you just check the purchase history, but we can't buying history with my power card? do anything without a receipt nooo they won't do it either AT THE OTHER GAMEDERP Me'1l just go to the other gamederp Found the game in your purchase history, we'11 go ahead and give you a new working copy F--- the other Gamederp True Story AAAAAAAAA333333|YYYYYY γγγγγγEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA

*Gamederp cler Bro and I at GameDerp. He got a used copy of Assassin's Creed 2 that is totally messed up. Wants to get a new one Yeah, we can't do s--- If you don't have the receipt *Me BIO Uhhhh no. We can see your Can't you just check the purchase history, but we can't buying history with my power card? do anything without a receipt nooo they won't do it either AT THE OTHER GAMEDERP Me'1l just go to the other gamederp Found the game in your purchase history, we'11 go ahead and give you a new working copy F--- the other Gamederp True Story AAAAAAAAA333333|YYYYYY γγγγγγEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA

me and derpina OMG A SPIDER KILL IT! le squish (-)-True Story

me and derpina OMG A SPIDER KILL IT! le squish (-)-True Story

(a True Story

(a True Story

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s e Story True Story I DON'T GIVE A FLYING BUDDHA'S F---. UST MAKE SURE ITS ACTUALLY FUNNY, PAL .4 ',1 BITCH, THAT IS NEIL PATRICK HARRIS YOU SHOW SOME GODDAMN RESPECT OR I WILL CUT YOU

s e Story True Story I DON'T GIVE A FLYING BUDDHA'S F---. UST MAKE SURE ITS ACTUALLY FUNNY, PAL .4 ',1 BITCH, THAT IS NEIL PATRICK HARRIS YOU SHOW SOME GODDAMN RESPECT OR I WILL CUT YOU