What the Hell Is Bripe?

Bripe! Say it with me! Bripe! Bripe! Bripe! Bripe! Are you excited? You should be! It's Bripe! What is Bripe? Who cares? It's Bripe!

But wait, seriously, what is Bripe? Bripe, believe it or not, is a coffee maker for the hiking man. Its name is a portmanteau of "brew" and "pipe." And, thanks to a tweetstorm by Mark Popham, the device has hit Twitter.

BRIPE pic.twitter.com/KRczWjgtfY

— exhausted father 🌹 (@markpopham) September 12, 2017

holy shit you all I do not understand BRIPE at all pic.twitter.com/TrxdS6dlEb

— exhausted father 🌹 (@markpopham) September 12, 2017

ME: ripping through my bonds in front of a crowd of terrified onlookers BRIIIIIIIPPPPPEEEEEE

— exhausted father 🌹 (@markpopham) September 12, 2017

Naturally, Twitter users were equally as flabbergasted and came back with some quality jokes on the wacky contraption.

pic.twitter.com/z5OAxZ2nmS

— danzig wario (@tonybonesarelli) September 12, 2017

"When you want to look like you're ripping a bongload, but you're just having some coffee: BRIPE"

— Keith Maniac (@CutItOutPutin) September 12, 2017

FINALLY a way to drink coffee and look just as friggin' sick as when I vape.

— Matthew JSt. (@Mattzors) September 12, 2017

So how does Bripe work? Well it's simple: first, you place a filter to cover the stem hole. Then, you add your ground coffee, followed by water. Next, brew with your handy "quad jet torch" (fancy term for "lighter") till the water reaches 185 degrees Fahrenheit and stir. Let cool. Then blow into the stem to make bubbles and sip through the stem.

See? Simple. Don't take my word for it: here's the eternally shirtless, silver-maned inventor Tim Panek explaining how it's done:

Okay, so the Bripe looks totally ridiculous. But while the name and quirky design are a lot of fun to goof on, don't call the Bripe Juicero 2.0 just yet. It's already made fans out of the team at Digital Trends, so it might actually be totally worth it if you're a hiking man who needs to wake up in the forest and get a shot o' joe. As for Mr. Popham, his Bripe bewilderment eventually turned towards curiosity. He wants the Bripe.

okay let me say this: if anyone on earth is going to use a Bripe it will be me. I am 100% the target audience for Bripe.

— exhausted father 🌹 (@markpopham) September 12, 2017

what I'm saying is if I were sent a Bripe I would review it fairly and honestly.

— exhausted father 🌹 (@markpopham) September 12, 2017

The Bripe kit, which includes the necessary lighter to heat the water, is being sold for $84.95 from the Bripe website.