"Well, one day when i was flipping off tables and hitting jews with a whip in a sacred temple… I know it sounds wrong, but bear with me."

"How do I start? First a virgin and a carpenter decide they would go with each other. Then, some governor named Herod decide it was a WONDERFUL idea to gather all people in one place for an annual census, so during the trip for the census I was born in Bethelehem in a manger. The moment I was born some weird looking Eastern motherf*ckers brought in myrrh, gold, and all that fancy sh!t 'cause they think I'm the f*cking Messiah."