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My air force security buddy has some interesting stories >Be security at nuclear missile silo >Get a call that there's a bunch of hippie protesters outside the fence and move out >Show up, yep, there's smelly hippies waving signs and chanting >Missile silo is literally in the middle of f------ nowhere, nearest people are farmers a couple miles away >The only people here beside them are the security team that just rolled up and the surveillance cameras, so who the hell are they chanting and waving signs for? >Ordered to stay out of sight and not interfere unless they do something stupid >Hippies begin climbing outer fence, are stumped by razor wire on top >Some enterprising hippie brought tools, and a pair of bolt cutters make short work of the chain link fence >We call it in, ordered to sit tight and wait for MP's >Can't we, at least, yell at them or something? No, that might hurt their feelings >Hippies are through the outer fence, cheering themselves on, and begin cutting inner fence Inner fence is electrified; watching them figure this out is like watching a monkey figure out that orange glowing stuff on the log is hot >Hippie with bolt cutters finally nuts up and cuts through fence, making an opening >Hippies all cheer as they make it through this obstacle and pour into the clearing around the silo itself >NOW can we stop them? 0, wait for the MP's What the f--- are we here for then? >Hippies climb onto silo hatch and begin looking for a padlock to cut so they can pry the hatch open with their one crowbar >They seriously think missile hatches are secured with padlocks and that steel plates weighing several tons can be pried open with a f------ crowbar >They finally resort to just beating on the hatch cover with a sledgehammer, shouting that if they can't destroy the nuclear missile inside, they can at least 'prevent it from launching' by damaging the hatch MP's finally show up, swarm all over the hippies, and handcuff them; any who resist are pepper sprayed >We literally sat there and just watched this entire time because we weren't allowed to even let them know we were there, much less stop them Hippies are arrested and charged with destruction of government property; air force agrees to drop charges if the hippies pay for the damage >Hippies think they're replacing some damaged fencing and agree Air force hands them the bill for damage to a missile hatch, to the tune of several million dollars for replacing the whole thing >"B-but we just scuffed it!" >"Better safe than sorry, we need to ensure national security by being able to launch at any time, and we don't know if you might have done damage that could cause the hatch to jam at a critical moment." Hippies are bankrupted, along with whatever organization was funding them, air force gets new fencing and several million dollars Doesn't replace the missile hatch because they literally just scuffed up the paint on it >Suddenly, I see the genius in giving the hippies enough rope to hang themselves

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hippies


Uploaded by Major Bummer Jul 02, 2016 at 07:10AM EDT

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The first thread <a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2347938-k--4">can be found here</a>.
Autocorrect is a cruel mistress, waiting to undermine and ruin phoneposters at every tap of the screen.
On the brightside, I doubt you are going to read anything worse than this today. Things can only go up from here.
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Uploaded Jul 02, 2016 at 07:10AM EDT

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/k/

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air force, chair force, 4chan, /k/, nuclear missile silo, hippies, green text, greentext, story

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