JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - If Hol Horse and Teru Teamed Up

"Hey, it beats being a turtle."
"…true."

Hol Horse getting fucked up at Tonio's. Hol Horse getting his head smashed in a car trying to hit on Tomoko.
Hol Horse getting mummified on the train. Hol Horse getting his soul swapped and mutated.
Hol Horse fucking goes to jail. Hol Horse becomes tiny and lives in an animal costume. Hol Horse gets trapped in a fantasy world. Hol Horse becomes a snail. Hol Horse fucking dies and gets replaced with Haf Horse.
It writes itself, really.