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"Aragorn, Saruman's army is on the horizon. Shall we light the beacons?" "No, Legolas. If we submit to xenophobia, Saruman wins."

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14 Heartbreaking Photos That Will Make You Say "F--- Having Borders and Law And S---"

THE BAGGINGSTON POST Saruman shreds Gandalf's crazy conspiracy theories with basic truth Saren Wormpill Political correspondent In a popular and fairly presented palantír broadcast, the ambassador of truth, wisdom and justice deigned to correct and educate his lesser, Gandalf. The broadcast was covered by independent press without any prejudice and bias, given equal respect to Saruman's well-articulated arguments and whatever it was Gandalf had to say. Trending now Bloody gardening: The Shire is set to impose licensing restrictions on garden shears, rakes and shovels in a push to address an 'epidemic' of slicings and choppings t More v

dailygondor potions гecipes middle earth gardening trinkets = browse Yes, torched villages are bad but have you tried a maggot sandwich? Thola Goldsnatch Few villages is a small price to pay to be able to revel in artisan mold and the oozing succulence of mystery maggots, Thola Goldsnatch writes Even Elven nobility often partakes in the decadent gourmet dish of pain du moisissure, even though their inferior culture is obviously unable to replicate the delicate balance of the original bread du maggot Trending Now A new heading: Barad-dûr officials mandated a compulsory beheading policy for any arriving travellers, with booster chops provided free of charge, prompting protests from anti-axers More v

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Polls Only Give Frodo Narrow Path to Victory

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Pollsters Give Fellowship 95% Chance of Failure

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"Suspect for the Helm's Deep terror attack acted alone, motive remains unknown according to Rohan Bureau of Investigation"

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Breaking News MSNBC Faramir Political Stumbles Continue

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Breaking News Fellowship in Shambles

LIVE BREAKING NEWS FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING IN SHAMBLES; SERIES OF HOBBIT GAFFES AND INFIGHTING REPORTED AS QUEST BEGINS 16:15 #FELLOWSHIPINSHAMBLES TRENDING IN MORDOR: FELLOWSHIP REPORTS HEAVY PIPE WEED USAGE

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Breaking News Angry Pipe Weed Smoking Hobbit Radicalized

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Breaking News Alt-Elf Snobs Retreat to Gated Community

LIVE BREAKING NEWS PRIVILEGED ALT-ELF SNOBS RETREAT TO GATED COMMUNITY OF HELMS DEEP, RATHER THAN WELCOME URUK HAI REFUGEES 12:05NOW TRENDIN NOW TRENDING: #EOMERWILLNOTDIVIDEUS NOW BOASTS 10,000 TWITTER FOLLOWERS

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Breaking News Saruman Says Wikileaks a Nothingburger

LIVE BREAKING NEWS SARUMAN CALLS WIKILEAKS REPORTS OVER 30,000 STRONG URUK HAI ARMY, “BIGGEST NOTHINGBURGER IN HISTORY" 14:04IS ISENGARD COMMUNICATIONS MOVING AWAY FROM HOMEBREW PALANTIR SYSTEM

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Breaking News Denethor II Sees Pathway to Pipe Weed Legalization

LIVE BREAKING NEWS DENETHOR SEES PATHWAY TO PIPE WEED LEGALIZATION 14:20 SHARES OF SOUTH FARTHING TOBACCO COMPANY ON GONDOR STOCK EXCHANGE SOAR

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CNN Mt. Doom Eruptions No Cause For Alarm

politics MORDOR SECURITY THE NINE MANFLESH f CNN Mordor Geological Survey Says Rash of Recent Mt. Doom Volcanic Eruptions Nothing to be Alarmed About By The Lieutenant of Barad-dur Chief Emissary of Sauron (CNN) The Mordor Geological Survey is reminding orcs across Middle Earth that increasingly frequent eruptions from Mt. Doom, while breathtaking, are no cause for alarm. In fact, "We are just witnessing normal Middle Earth plate tectonic activity," says Mordor's Chief Geological scientist Dr. Gothmog. "There is absolutely no correlation between the increasing frequency of the eruptions and the steady progress of the missing hobbits from the Shire."

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CNN Eomer Nauseating Hypocrisy Op-Ed Piece From Grima Wormtongue

politics ROHAN SECURITY THE NINE MANFLESH f The Nauseating Hypocrisy of the Alt-Rohirrim Grima Wormtongue Chief Advisor for Rohan The Alt-Rohirrim continues to show no shame in its disgusting hypocrisy of casting suspicion on Rohan's leadership team while rumors of its own collusion with outside foreign powers run rampant through the kingdom. I hereby call for the appointment of a neutral independent counsel, (preferably Saruman the Wise who has ever been our friend and ally), to investigate the back channel schemes between Eomer Son of Eomund, Gandalf Greyhem, and this ranger from the north. Beyond the crimes of warmongering, the Alt-Rohirrim persists with its campaign of blatant orcophobia across the Westfold, and even here in the orc sanctuary city of Edoras. Riddermark nationalism simply has no place in this era of Pan Orcism. Peaceful Isengardism can exist wherever it is allowed to flourish. #EomerwillNotDivideUs

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CNN Reports Eomer Criticized for Tweet

politics ROHAN SECURITY THE NINE MANFLESH f Eomer Son of Eomund Criticized for tweet about Grima Wormtongue after Westfold orc attack Eomer's tweets have been heavily criticized by a number of Rohan's politicians, some of whom are calling for him to be banished from the kingdom. Chief Advisor to Rohan, Grima Wormtongue, has denounced Eomer's "warmongering" and tweeted his strong support in standing with King Theoden instead. "At times like this, we shouldn't be distracted from our great duty to assimilate these peaceful orcs seeking asylum, into the Riddermark," said Grima. Grima then went on to say, "In fact, we should be redoubling our efforts at stamping out Orcophobia wherever we find it."

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#Orcposting - Aragorn was a nazi? #killallelf #killallmen #orcswelcome

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"Aragorn, Saruman's army is on the horizon. Shall we light the beacons?" "No, Legolas. If we submit to xenophobia, Saruman wins."

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