Alright, speed synopsis. Let's go.

D.Va beats Sombra in game.
Sombra get mad.
D.Va goes on blind date.
She meets Genji. She hates it.
Sombra hacks Genji.
They fuck.
Sombra expects a negative result.
D.Va and Genji hook up.
D.Va and Genji meet Zenyatta.
Sombra hacks Genji and Zenyatta.
They fuck.
Sombra expects a negative result.
They become friends.
Sombra hacks a Genji, Zenyatta, and a table.
The table is actually Bastion.
They fuck.
Sombra expects a negative result.
Sombra gets arrested.
D.Va is actually a cop.
D.Va puts a parking ticket on Roadhog.
Roadhog get mad.
Sombra hacks D.Va's mech.
They fuck.
All's well that end's well.

God is real