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Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin Techno Fan vs The Chad Ostrogoth Raver

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The Virgin Techno Fan The Chad Ostrogoth Raver Refuses girly drugs, consumes only cocaine or speed Listens to Ben Klock post-2009 Not a plełb Must consume ecstasy to enjoy party Buys weak 10 pills from ghetto kid drug dealers outside club, contains mostly PMA and caffeine Possesses the knowledge of SNTS's true identity Never had to queue for Berghain, always on "DJs only" guestlist Weak body and mind Onlv ever visits Her Damit Festival Posts Instagram stories from all events he attends As he enters the club Has the worst comedowns, always suicidal and crying Thinks it's cool to go to Berghain, has to check-in on FB to show people the walls of the old powerplant roar to welcome him to ex-girlfriends on Tuesdays Can rave non-stop from Friday to Monday without even eating or drinking Thinks Funktion One is the only good Has been denied more times than he has been accepted Personally invited by the owners of Bassiani to come party sound system in the world Never has bad comedowns, never suicidal, mpeccable mental and physical strength Follows Joseph Capriati on SoundCloud Keeps the yellow sticker on the Doesn't buy music, gets all the best stuf directly from DJ friends asking for feedback Always readv to rave Phone camera for 2 weeks Leaves club with jacket still in wardrobe and pose to other virgins Thinks Bjarki is "hard and dark" Personal friend of Kobosil and Dax J so he can bring home the hang tag Knows inner circle drug dealers Gets premium stuff for free Pavs 25 to see Maceo Plex Listens to Paula Temple for chilling down Queues for 4 hours to get into Ostgut Ton Nacht Marcel Dettman follows him on Instagram Spends all his money on Beatport denied at the door, starts crying in front of crowd Posts "Sky And Sand <3” story on Snapchat, Always misses the best sets, has to go to work on Monday morning Enters club without ever getting searched Needs shorts to ventilate chiseled quads, causing p---- to activate on both gay men and straight women doesn't even know it's “Aaron" Doesn't know you can refill water bottle in toilets, spends 100 euro/night on water Doesn't even bring phone to the club Regularly invited by 10/10 girls and guys for hour-long gangbangs in dark area Was never invited for raunchery by even 1/10 overweight gay BDSM guys Un-ironically says Adam Beyer is a techno DJ

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