Meanwhile, '60s Spider Man is just sitting here masturbating.

To be fair, first he was dating Gwen Stacy, and things where looking up, then she died. He also couldn't keep a real job due heroing, so he was forced to be a freelancer photographer, even tough that job did not have good pay (it got better). Then he got with MJ, and things where really looking up. But then One More Day happened, and since then dude had just bad luck after bad luck and his character regressed to be an idiot. I stopped reading after that, but apparently then he died and Octavious was wearing his body, then he came back but Octavious destroyed his reputation, and I have no idea what he is up to now.