Political Compass - You just can't win

Time for an unsolicited wrong opinion:
There is nothing wrong with your partner being your fetish. The problem comes when you dehumanize the person because of the fetish.
Assuming that the latter is the case by default only makes it harder for people to open about their kinks to their lovers. There is already the problem of believing that their partner will be disgusted by their kink and now you have to add the "Wait, you have an asian fetish? Does that mean that you wouldn't love if i wasn't asian?" problem to it. Mostly because people can't accept that all attraction is superficial by nature, so in almost all cases they would not have been chosen by their partners if they didn't think they were appealing and that goes both ways.
The right answer is "It's what attracted me to you in the first place but not why i stayed around" or some variation.

Another example of this kind of situation is the "She married me for my money!"/"And you married her because she was young and pretty" but that one is greyer

Honestly you didn't even need to change girlfriend to an Asian for the LibLeft. Dated a black girl for a little while, I can tell you what hell is and hell is when go out and there's always someone who'll comment on why your entire relationship is wrong. The LibLeft will call her a sellout for going white, or they'll imply that you're just doing this to live out some weird slave owner fantasy (yep. Blue Hair girl that I went to college with that probably craved black cock). Oh yeah it's just awful.

Ironically with the way people act about it you'd have less trouble for just "Sticking with your own race".