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Perry Sloan @SloanPerry when you push a pull door and the person behind says "you need to pull" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom

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Murray Gardner @MurrayGardner4 apparently a corona virus symptom is having no taste, thoughts go out to all the c---- who wear Yeezys then

Daniel Roan @DRoantree More good election news; Someone in Scotland wrote "WANK" beside every party on their ballot, other than the Green Party, beside which was written "not wank". According to Scottish Law that indicates "Clear preference" and the vote got counted hahahahaha 10:35 · 27 May 19 · Twitter for iPhone

Aidn @_AM63. Smith took acid last night and two burds were talking Gaelic and no c--- telt smith n he just thought he couldn't understand English anymore and sat fried tryin no to cry

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A Vegan Scot

27 David Aaronovitch Retweeted Tina McKenzie @tinamckenz My daughter is in quarantine in her halls in Edinburgh. They said they would deliver food- she advised she is vegan @EdinburghUni sent a mars bar and croissant #chaotic 10:02 AM · Sep 28, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 99 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 258 Likes

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Ye Goin Fur A Shite?

Dayna McAlpine @daynamcalpine_ my pals think living in scotland is all beautiful rolling hills and friendly patter when in reality it's a junkie shouting 'ye goin for a s---- hen?' at me because i'm carrying a 16 roll pack of toilet roll >

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HB BigJ

@catto67 happy birthday mate hope you have a good one x

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Too Soon John

cat @catstewartt Ma hamster has to lose its eye n John sent me this :)))))))) Her eye is fully shut now 11:33 am / I think she won't be able to use that eye again 11:33 am / :( 11:35 am .( 11:35 am

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Fair Point

Deril Wyles @DerilWyles Guy from the TV licence chapped my uncles pals door and he told them he didny have a telly and the guy was like you've got an aerial on your roof and he said l've got a pint of milk in the fridge disny mean l've got a coo out the back and shut the door >

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A Wee Boost

Tweet there's a soft wee cactus in my hall and whenever i touch it on passing i say ouch and pretend it hurt to encourage it's confidence 01:11 · 10/03/2020 · Twitter for iPhone 151 Retweets 3.330 Likes

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A Wee Fanny

Nick @nicklibertine Imagine having access to Barack Obama's twitter account and NOT sending a DM to Donald Trump calling him a wee fanny 11:04 PM · Jul 15, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 2 Retweets 6 Likes >

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Maccies

Tim @tm_ord Personally I think McDonald's workers should be paid £20 an hour just because they have to listen to that f------ beeping for hours at a time. Never been into a maccies and not heard f------ beep beep beep it's like watching me nan in hospital 15:30 · 14/11/2019 · Twitter for iPhone 3 085 Retweets 31,8K Likes

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He's Been Well Done

BENYID @bernardmeechan1 Arguing with carly over how to cook steaks, i says "aye well ive watched plenty of videos on youtube. Her reply, "aye well youve watched hunners of p--- tae n you canny do that right either"

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Fly Flying

party ross anthem @Rauss_Mc Noticed there was a fly on our flight and it full on blew my mind. That lad has no clue that he's full on emigrated. Will never see any of his family or pals ever again 5:48 pm · 13 Nov 18 4,428 Retweets 36.6K Likes

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Safety 101

|Retweeted Levenmouth Police · @LevenmouthPol · Dec 3 000 Two important messages this Christmas. 1. Aiyways wear yer seatbelt 2. Dinnae overdo the makeup #Wearing YerSeatBeltCankeepYouBonny #BackSeatDrivers #BeltUp #OpParamount O 10 27 128 389

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Mank

Patrick Monahan @pattymo On title alone l'd have to assume MANK is a documentary about Scottish swears, like when someone gets called "you absolute lamp" or whatever 12:46 PM · Dec 4, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 49 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 625 Likes

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Scottish Twitter - Aye Cheers

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Perry Sloan @SloanPerry when you push a pull door and the person behind says "you need to pull" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom

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