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Greentext Stories - Anon finds out he's autistic | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:33:57 No.60910713 >be me >pretty sure I have an undiagnosed autoimmune disease >go to doctor to run some tests >everything is fine you're perfectly healthy >ask to se my test results and these 62 KB JPG retards charged me $500 and didn't even run the right test >order one of those test kits from everlywell because I know it's the right test. It's one of those things where you prick your finger and dab blood on a thick piece of paper in 12 different spots for collection and they run it thru a lab and send you results >the finger prick only barely pinched my finger and could only get a tiny bit of blood, not nearly enough for what they need >it's a spring loaded needle and not reusable >ffs now I have to make myself bleed somehow >try stabbing myself with another needle but I can't get myself to do it all the way without being a little bitch >go outside and kick my foot on the brick stair but can't make myself scrape it hard enough to draw blood >how the f--- do I make myself bleed >get the perfect idea to just shave my d--- since I always nick myself down there and the bush was getting a bit heavy anyways >only takes about 10 seconds to cut my d--- until I'm bleeding >now I'm squeezing all the blood out the side of my shaft and I'm dabbing the paper on my dickwound >while I'm twisting the paper I give myself the gnarliest paper cut right on the biggest wangvein >blood is spurting everywhere >entire paper is now soaked in blood and I'm scrambling to stop the bleeding >reach for the gauze and press it on my dickwound, NOPE this is the alcohol pad. My d--- is f----- pounding in pain >just grab the hand towel and wrap it around my peepee Mfw I've been sitting here on the toilet holding my bloody d--- for 30 minutes : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:35:48 No.60910733 >>60910713 (OP) # Besides your obvious retardation, what disease do you think you have? >>60910782 # : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:37:28 No.60910757 >>60910713 (OP) # I think you might have undiagnosed autism as well.

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