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Greentext Stories - Anon’s forays with fibre | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 >be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution tho >main problem is i eat like a dumpster >apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" >go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars >the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks >i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more >i dont s--- that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon >can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day >thefinaldaydawns.mp3 >i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me >it's whistling >just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss >suddenly stops >the hole is plugged >SOS >this s--- is so solid it feels like i'm giving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray >the rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins >a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets >the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg >my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly >most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point >just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat >after an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying >both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet >gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass >completely clean

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