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Political Compass - 9x9 College Campus Compass | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

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The University Dean/President The Guy who became an RA just to f--- his residents The Tenured Lit Professor College Neighborhood Mask Patrol Communist Chinese Student That One Auth RA in IT Department Campus Pastor/Rabbi/Imam O Chem Professor your res hall Goes around snitching on neighbors Lives in a mansion and tases Knows full well that half picks favorites every gives some are cool, some aren't Charismatic and attractive enough to pass all vetting processes Will ban you from the school network if you use a VPN Son of a party official anyone who comes near it his students fail the class semester Busts students who 19 years old but takes the job way too seriously realllyyy pushy about you attending services Doesn't have many live on other floors Keeps raising tuition Doesn't matter, everyone But lets "Oh you're drunk? You can rest in else a c friends go friends Cannot help with tech problems perfection or nothing Completely detached from the argues with atheists *my* room" will fail you if he suspects you have any right- leaning view Will be brutally honest in crushing Makes cryptic Relentlessly campaigns for Really really annoying The road to realities of the hell is paved with good statements about China's inevitable Inevitably gets investigated student body Most often your dreams hall council provides free food intentions takeover of the US President of 6 clubs Tenured Lit Professor's TA The Tenured [Other The Introvert Adjunct Campus Police The Visiting Parent Соach Anti-Abortion Protestor Engineering Professor Subject] Professor Fresh out of grad Hates public speaking so COVID is the best thing that ever happened Just wants his team to be good Makes you do 30 hours of Overworked but trying her best to make everyone happy Kisses ass hard even though Almost Don't do class of 1990 Shouts through a megaphone at 7 AM school homework each week Doesn't really care about job anymore Cancels universally hated he won't earn his doctorate their jobs "What the hell happened to Ignores mask mandates Knows his views are unpopular but Sleeps 3 hours a night for another decade class all [college town]??" Reminisces about doesn't care Will not sign off on the time Keep the drugs and alc they confiscate the good ol days of your school's athletics Can't get ADIRIMA AM MIADA TABRD Old- your co-op papers 200 students allocations Follows lit Has been teaching fashioned show up to Weeds out the professor around at a frantic pace Keeps camera off during from SGB since 1981 counter protest, weak blood causing a traffic jam and still uses zoom classes syllabi from 2006 Mandatory Freshman Alcohol Training Exists only to calm parents The Voter Registration The Self-Declared "Ally" Campaigner SGB Groupie Geology Professor Local Business Owner College Republican The Hipster Poli Sci Professor Student Body President Open socialist but to class in doesn't discriminate against others Teaches rocks Pretty much for jocks and Shows up Tried to march at the front Gouges because he The food is s----- and generic but he's packed every Friday night Tries so hard to get conservative speakers to campus but the school doesn't let him You're surprised to find them in this Outdated Not in SGB but has Has a It's because as liberal Tries to get as many students registered to vote as humanely possible of the George Floyd and anti Asian hate protests passes s they act for votes, they're really just a patsy for the Dean a t-shirt misinformation f----- half the board kink for knows it quadrant aren't you everyone Does the paperwork for SGB and is never thanked for it about drinking knows he can power If you don't do it you can't register for classes Posts five-minute Disappears around election time Drinks with Prefers his Instagram stories for various social causes Genuinely cares Feels like All part of the same frat/ sorority for students regulars And they really favor about social causes high school again outside of but nobody ever Sometimes Greek life and Dreads summer crushing unions gets cancelled for racial slurs listens class some reason because that's Terribly depressed Hates self when the students leave College Newspaper Registrar's Office Cafeteria Worker The PDA Couple Econ Professor Elderly Local Slumlord Frat Bro Those People Who Sell Food on the Street Not paid enough for literally holding together the school Either really rude or really nice Tries to indoctrinate his students Rents s----- Hyperpartisan left Defying mask mandates Power-tripping embodied Gets handsy in the quad Toxic and Has lived Calls the The eviction apartments then to the musings of Adam Smith cops on alley parties obnoxious The food is here since gets surprised moratorium Blatantly lies in stories Inevitably gets caught trying to f--- in public Will deny your since Day 1 culture good but. when students do is bad for 1961 ..there's Convinces you to buy Bitcoin rent strikes business (EMITTING VIRTUE SIGNAL) schedule for the Often begin airing their dirty laundry in public 90% of staff are something Tells you long stories about "the good ol days" Depressed Responsible for 90% of the dumbest reasons underclassmen girls writing Buzzfeed-style editorials Never responds to maintenance requests but you don't really have any other choice for places to live off about Usually the oldest professor on campus ever since STDS on them her union campus collapsed The Computer Science Adjunct The Chill RA Nursing School Professor The Failing Student The Excelling Student Gets a 4.0 every semester and spends 80 hours/week studying Philosophy Professor Study Abroad Office The Groundskeeper Srat Girl "I'm just here to make sure you don't die, be safe and we have no issues" Claims discounts for being a frontline COVID worker even though she stays in her room and teaches Zoom lessons Almost always espouses Tries to tell you you're uncultured if you don't study abroad Went to too Had all their Also defied mask Hardest working employee on campus many parties, can't even get up ghostwritten for Zoom class far left theory all semester рapers Shows up 10 minutes mandates from day one If he catches you drunk he'll just guide you to a friend's room and give you an ibuprofen Prints brochures with smiling late smoking a vape pen Salty she isn't a doctor Talks about their IQ Smokes by the library No social Screams at 2:30 AM African children to make it Acts smug life tho Makes bank Makes vague look like they're helping Spends $2,000 of daddy's Grades doing failing student's Sends memes in the GroupMe about it but comments about terrified of their psychedelic In constant contention with the Auth RA extremely lightly Also sad that his experiences when they were Ultimately just salespeople for overpriced trips moving back in with their money each month ED Grades harshly union got busted homework from another your age parents floor College Bar Bootleg School Merch Dealer The Canceller The Hippie Toxic Roommate Student Athlete The Stats Professor Student Health Resident Who Lives In A Single Spends three hours on loud Not that smart but brings in most of the college's revenue Often accept Misses class to Extremely vocal when they find Republicans what they were looking for Constantly sexciling you Extremely territorial and fakes, but will aggressive Depressed and friendless Really needs a hug Extremely chill but has Shows up to class hungover Wait days for an appointment stalk college Divorced Their s---'s good but they're shady af some wild ideas deny they've Starting to make some facetimes Majors in business ever seen you Definitely a No bra every day Misdiagnose you all the time little racist Writes long Responsible for Either have concerning Totally over this b------- letters to Steals your been around for decades the other 10% of comments Always hastily taking down and moving their stand administration Just wants STDS on campus demanding students' expulsion s--- about Your acid plug your money or will close next year suicide Obnoxious The Sunshine Local Strays Party Host Your Grass Plug Out-of-Town Driver The Militant Activist Business School Professor Opioid Abuser Counterprotestor Knows he's teaching mostly The most positive guy in your friend group Started using oxy for wisdom tooth surgery when 18 Is definitely in mid-20s but hey, business is business Very chill, you Once you're a usually smoke with them The reason the Forbes businesses You want to pet them soooo bad but you don't know if it's safe Chill af except when they're f------ or fighting Whenever a mildly right wing Speeds through red lights boarded up last June athletes and Greek life regular you pay $8/g person comes campus they Fetishizes Elon Beeps at you when you have the walk signal Posts on his story Now on the verge of Makes bank Silently Inevitably moves away and fades into obscurity upon graduation show up and scream at them Musk and about "the Warren Buffett dropping out charging $5 cleans up "Punch Nazis," but by Nazis they mean any cop or Republican revolution" Steals money after their Has three Spends half the period on his phone watching his positions Has definitely Everyone Sometimes you from roommate side hustles mess -sent committed a hit from my mourns his find them dead to fund habit loss and it's really sad and run iPhone" Res Hall Security Guard Shoeless Professor The Shy Guy The Stoner Mattresses Left Behind After Move-Out Left to The Weeb/Furry The Senior Dating 6 Freshman Girls At Once Homeless Guy The Creepy 40-year-old Supposed to be vetting Grinded with one 18-year-old in 2018 and now goes to the bar every night hoping to do it again Always wears a hoodie Speaks in uWu Best friends with Follows you entrants but instead Holds class outside You've Just vibing the hippie and the grass plug rot for months They all think they're the exclusive one never seen Asks for money for food but when you offer to buy them the food they refuse sitting on their phone Buys all the ramen at the commissary Never turns his Lets you pick your final project them sober Sometimes zoom camera on Will message hang out together Just don't give a s---, make up rules on the spot Makes out with 10 Don't you relentlessly on Tinder/ Grindr, and find your private social media You're getting Chill girls every time he goes to the club Tries to start a Wears a drug rug furry club but fails shine a "I don't worried about vibes Extremely attractive but riddled with herpes carry cash" is the best Just gives him blacklight Comes out as everyone an A trans as a Junior on em defense Cruisers in the Park Anarchist Adjunct The Party King The Party Queen The Klepto The Alc Plug The Dropout The Freshman who tries Student Alcohol Store Worker Cancels class to protest Boyfriend of Party Queen Meth at his first party Gathers customers fresh off High as f--- in the woods Makes it her mission to Left during COVID because he didn't Brags about stealing something from every party she goes to the boat during O Week Has now provide as much serotonin to the student body as possible Knows it's a fake, smiles and sells you what you want with their d---- out Loses their Enables binge drinking but has no moral compass Sacrificial lamb lost want to miss out on temper Breaks up tuition Traumatize occasionally the college experience Comps you occasionally children Hosts tons of Becomes a on the Af fights and arguments like a pro All her cutlery is from the cafeteria parties and gives away alcohol out of the goodness of her heart campus meme You really hope they don't get into a position of power Has several stock Resells the stuff "Looking??" market he gets with employee discount on his fake IDs and Ends up in the hospital and drops out It comes out of the cafeteria workers' pay but she doesn't care identities and is sus af own

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