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Anonymous (ID: HqymHOvc) 02/10/14(Mon)20:08:54 UTC-5 No.531861896 Replies: >>531862995 File: 1392080934973.png-(160 KB, 355x388, 535465467567576.png) >be 22 >living in the boonies in the Hudson Valley of New York. >go to get a haircut >stylist is cute, ask her out, go out. >end of date, she invites me into her apartment >total s-------, covered in kids toys, smells of vomit & spoiled milk. >f--- it, haven't gotten laid in a while.decide to f--- her >practically rip her clothing off, f--- her in the ass.c-- >pull out, tip of d--- covered in s---.she's running for the toilet & barely makes it to a photo finish >start pulling up pants, making a mad dash for the car >open the front door, some guy is trying to put his keys in the front door. >ohshit.jpg it's her husband or bf >book it to my car, guy is chasing me >apartment complex is total s-------, random feral cats are f------ next to my car, burst out laughing >guy sees it too >stand there laughing with random guy at cats f------ >get into my car >leave

Anon gets caught | /r/Greentext


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: Anonymous hell 53 KB JPG throw my bat 08/07/22(Sun)18:21:14 No.883482551 >be me at 9 years old >Baseball game >I'm up to bat, bases loaded, our team is down 3-0 >I swing as hard as I can and the ball goes flying >My coach starts yelling at me to run >I am so excited about my hit that I >It hits him right in the thigh, connecting with his left ball >He ends up on the ground screaming >Fast forward 14 years >I'm working at a sit down pizza restaurant/bar >I see my old baseball coach at the bar and I go up to him excited >He sees me and laughs >Tells all his friends while laughing "this is the kid that hit my nuts with a baseball bat by accident" >His friends laugh, I laugh I hope your balls are doing well coach, if you ever need someone to empty them I'm right here
Anonymous (ID: MIK5Amux) 7 KB PNG 03/12/23(Sun)13:41:04 No.419377472 > dad and brother are missing in action presumed dead > getting every night to numb pain > check snapchat to see what gf is up to > she fled with her family to germany > posted on her story > video of her dancing taking shots in a discotheque > dancing to techno in a slutty black dress > meanwhile hear my city is getting shelled daily in the background > to make matters worse I just got my draft notice, im to be deployed to the front lines Last year I was about to get married and then everything went to s---. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Anonymous (ID: hk+2RLTK) 03/12/23(Sun)13:45:09 No.419377747 What's a discotheque >>419377875 # >>419377988 # >>419378154 # >>419381241 # >>419381374 # >>419382003 # >>419384232 # >>419391942 # >>419392024 # >>419392215 # >>419392306 # >>419395238 # >>419395739 # >>419395900 #
Quoted by: >>21593128 >>21599527 >>21599539 >>21599609 >>21592732 >Goblet of Fire >"Harry Potter! Did you burn your name in the Sacred Ancestor Flame? Junior, you are courting death!", Supreme Elder Dumbledore said, his voice serene like a jade lake even as his killing intent filled the room. >"Haha, a third-rate talent like you really thinks he can compete in the Three Sect Grand Tournament? Boy, get down on your knees and slap yourself fifty times so our sect can save some face! Five hundred contribution points are deducted from the Roaring Griffin Clan!" Dumbledore's wrathful essence poured out like a wave, cracking the stone floor beneath his feet and disrupting Harry's meridians. Harry was knocked backwards, spitting blood!
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Uploaded Aug 20, 2021 at 07:27PM EDT

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Greentext Stories

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