: Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)19:31:39 No.61788673 > be me > make deeply personal post on 4chan detailing painful events etc. > someone sees this and posts it to r/greentext > they recieve 1000 wholesome awards > they get gilded with silver, gold, platinum, argentium, and ternion medals 71 KB JPG all worth over $500 dollars > mfw all I get is called a f----- on 4chan what even is reddit?

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon participated in a raid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)10:55:53 No.65440704 >4 years ago >crystal cafe raid >post a smug frog with a comment to the effect of "women can't be depressed" >get perma-banned >too lazy to go down to the basement and reset my router >never go there again

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The Lonely Edgelord | /r/Greentext

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Anon avoids death | /r/Greentext

if you ever have trouble finding the Spook/Nope general remember you can search for it or create a new one! ITT we start with sleep ghost pasta Share your pastas and greentexts below >be 18 >just moved out of my parents >antisocial autist so live alone in dingy apartment >place is the size of a normal persons kitchen >sleep on couch in living room so I can wake up and play Vidya without moving >pass the f--- out playing god of war >in my dream see woman dangling from corner of room >no face >literally blank skin >"anon" >"anon it isn't safe anon" >what the f--- >noface woman floats towards my couch >"anon you have to move" >voice is coming from all directions sounds like a young girl >freaking out i stand up >"anon go outside" >no control over my legs i just start moving outside >wake up as soon as my door opens >no woman >standing outside >all my neighbors are outside >alarm going off There was a f------ gas leak in the building.

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Anon has a guilty conscience | /r/Greentext

09/19/21(Sun)21:26:22 No.156520919 >be a lazy unproductive s--- >avoid NEETdom by going to uni and waste my time on stupid s--- while failing half of my classes every 27 KB JPG semester >doing this for four years now >parents still patient and support me I don't deserve them, boys

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Anon plays Super Smash Bros | /r/Greentext

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Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) · 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800O in a month doing this

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Anon needs to find a new gym | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/05/15(Thu)13:06.28 No.34805334 >34805355 >>34805370 >»34805404 >>34805417 >34805423 >>34805491 >>34805507 >34805522 >>34805 File: 1446427570574.jpg (139 KB, 600x404) IT DONT MATTER >be me >like lifting at retarded hours of the night when nobody's in the gym at my sieepy little farm town >not even front desk people >literally lift in just a speedo or my underwear sometimes >make whatever retarded noises I want NINEOETHS MAITERS >its f------ great >however sometimes I get creeped out and think somebody is watching me >a couple times I hear the door move a bit >pass it off as wind/pressure change from the AC or heater >whatever >go back to "HURRRRRUHHHHHHHBLUBLUBLUB" squats >one day decide to pretend I'm macho man randy savage >have coked-out sounding interviews with myself in the mirror >hear giggling behind me >scares the s--- out of me >look in mirror, some girl is decending the stairs >You're hilarious anon >w-- she knows my name >super embarrassed >ind out that she's been here every night1 have >she rides her bike here and stretches in the dance room >she said she just had to meet me, part of what keeps her motivated to go to the gym is me acting silly in the gym and making weird noises >she knows my name because of the times I talk in third person in a British accent and narrate what I'm doing Thave never been more embarrassed in my life. I dont know if I can go back there anymore. She's heard me say things.

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Anon forgot to take his schizo meds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)23:59:31 No.65444114 >go on date with girl to a restaurant >realize in the middle of the date that I'm not really into her >strongly dislike confrontation >tell her "I'm going to the p w bathroom" 1.7 MB PNG >get in my car and drive home >I don't know how she managed to get home but I'm sure she did somehow Am I a jerk?

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Missionary Impossible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sorry videoguy! 09/19/21(Sun)19:28:35 No.65445793 >When I was a kid I loved to sneak in the XXX section of the OM VIDEOS rentavideo >There was a purple neon section saying ADULTE top of the wall >Beads instead of a door 245 KB JPG >l would go there with my friends and we would take pictures of boobs. >The guy kept kicking us out and we would make sexual gesture pretending to masturbate by the outdoor windosebay. >He once told us we were permabanned and that he would remember us even when we were 18. >I told the owner that I hoped that by the time we would be 18 he go bankrupt so we would never have to deal with him to watch p--- in our town. >Im sorry videoguy! >l was just a kid >I didnt mean it >But im glad i get to watch p--- for free on my phone >Hope youre doing ok

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Anon is feeling down. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)10:21:05 No.65441941 >support them when they need it >be with them when they need companie >give advice and listen to theyr vents when they need it >be ghosted when I need it 64 KB JPG Is it wrong to expect to be treated the same way you treat others?

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23 (and me) skidoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)14:15:50 No.65442447 >saw a tall, pale, and skinny (exactly my type) qt at a party last night >heels that showed off her sexy feet >she and I were the only ones not 56 KB JPG dancing >it was a family party so I was afraid we might be related

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Anon tells us about his water landing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why the fu 12/21/18(Fri)20:34:50 No.4996 >be me >pilot >flying plane with around 155 passengers >suddenly birb flies into plane >shitshitshit.png 37 KB JPG >what do >look at some s----- river >idea.jpg >land the plane into this s----- river >no boom >everyone survives >everyone claps >everyone thanks god >are you f------ kidding me

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Greentext Stories - Anon does not like greentext | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)19:31:39 No.61788673 > be me > make deeply personal post on 4chan detailing painful events etc. > someone sees this and posts it to r/greentext > they recieve 1000 wholesome awards > they get gilded with silver, gold, platinum, argentium, and ternion medals 71 KB JPG all worth over $500 dollars > mfw all I get is called a f----- on 4chan what even is reddit?

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