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File: 1395256860122.jpg-(50 KB, 460x333, it.jpg) I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GGNJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:17:35 UTC+1 No.537996668 Replies: Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:16:37 UTC+1 No.538004926 Replies: Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:31:29 No.538015293 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:21:00 UTC+1 No.537989407 Replies: >>537989870 >>537990586 >>537997456 >>538000370 >>538009753 >>538005196 >>538005209 >>538005270 >>538005631 > day 8 > guy call from day 7 calls back > he's p----- > tells me he lost a client because of my stupidity > "s--- happens man. I lost to team rocket like 10 minute ago" > "what the f--- are you talking about?" > click > day 14 > server is still down > my dads asking questions > everyone is p----- > take an early lunch > over hear some guys at the restaurant talking about buying a new modem for > day 20 > spend entire day cleaning the server room up > getting it all nice > just unplugging network cables willy nilly so I can colour coordinate them people are losing their s--- > they are randomly getting kicked off > tell people there are some issues with our isp >I make sure to say l-S-P as I have now learned by speaking in abbreviations no matter how common makes you sound techy > by the end of the day the server rack is all classy looking > unfortunatelyI never mapped anything and a handful of people can't connect because their ports aren't connected to anything > tell them the |-S-P will have it done ASAP and go home >>538004234 >>538009116 I got hired by my Dad to do IT. I know very little about IT besides games. These are my IT stories. > be first day > woman asks me if I can install the latest the office > hailmary jpg > "Hey sorry to bother you during your lunch.but would either of you happen to be IT?" version of adobe reader Replies: >>537997456>>538000370 > f--- ya I got this O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:24:52 UTC+1 No.537997654 Replies: > before either of them could read me the riot act and tell me something like how > DL like a boss > "Wow you're like a computer expert" > "Well you know." > Asked to input admin credentials > forget admin credentials > try admin:password > nope.jpg > "uhhhh... uhhhh... oh crap somethings going on with the serve. be right back" > 3 months later she still doesn't have adobe reader >>537997961 >>537998938 the f--- dare|| Replies: >>538015882 > I'm IT too O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:38:28 No.538016156 > day 9 > one of the printers is out of toner > some fat guy tells me to change it > "it's a toner man.. can't you change it? I'm working on this huge issue with the >I show them my hand that I scratched up crawvling wire on the floor > they nod > "What would you try doing if your server is completely f-----?" > "Have you tried restarting it?" > I go back and restart the physical machine > it f------ works > day 21 > now that the server room is all clean I set up all the test boxes in the back > 8 machines in total all connected to the network > try joining monitors all together like you see on cool threads, you know like the racing ones? > realize these are s--- old monitors and you can't do that > come up with the great idea of bitcoin mining with these boxes > set it up for the first half of the day > after lunch I'm mining > terribly but I am mining > people start complaining about server lag > blame the lag on the olympics suggest that the whole office must be streaming it > ban the olympics on the web filter > office is divided; can see the divide in my email > people who are p----- about not being able to watch the olympics > and the keeners who think its all work and no play at work > I've officially gained power though, people respect me for making this mandate > "He's a real company guy" server" > was really dowwnloading steam > "it'll take a second. god I have much more important stuff to do. that's why you're here" > sigh and go do it > can't figure out how to f------ open the f------ cartridge door > start hitting it like they do in zoolander > tell the poor mentally challenged guy in the mail room I have a special job for him > he has to hide the magic egg in the chest of Hewlet Packard > go back to my server business > half an hour later the fat guy comes into my office > "What the f--- did you do to the printer?" > "Changed the toner" > He just starts shaking his head and muttering s--- > we walk over to it More? Replies: >>538005196>>538005209>>538005270>>538005631 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:22:06 UTC+1 No.538005784 Replies: >>538006516 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:25:29 UTC+1 No.537989990 Replies: >>537990181 >>537990586 >>537991061 >>538000632 >>538005631 >>538009358 > be day 2 > angry guy is on the phone asking me about some weird in house program > have no idea what the f--- he's saying > there's a pause > he's waiting for an answer > think back to the IT crowd > "Have you tried turning it on and off again" > "Like restarting" > "Give me a sec.." > day 15 > hot cougar walks by office looking distressed > "Everything okay?" > "Oh good... I can't log into my email. can you please help me. PLEASE" > "I got you." > get her laptop > re-install microsoft office > outlook works again > poke through her emails to make sure things are working > send a test file > read the titles of her latest emails > "Divorce" > hand back her laptop > "Looks like its working now" > the mailroom guy jammed the cartridge in the wrong way and actually lodged it in there so half of it is sticking out > the door cant even close > it f------ worked Replies: >>538016437>>538016495 > there's black hand prints all over the printer to0 > Can feel the guy judging me so I just spew b------- > "Looks to be a probably with the network." > the printer was down for over a month before I figured out we have a printer guy on call O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)23:42:25 UTC+1 No.538016735 Replies: >>537g90181>>537990586>>537991061>>538000632>>538005631 > day 22 > its birthday day > office celebrates all the months birthdays > take cake > set up n64 in the boardroom > challenge people in the office to goldeneye > keep saying "Hey l'm just taking a 5 minute break for some cake.. want a quick game?" > own the s--- out of all of them > realize I did absolutely nothing all day but eat cake and game > no one ever noticed O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GGNJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:29:04 UTC+1 No.537990437 Replies: >>537990802 >>537996957 >>538001173 > "Thanks. > "Everything okay?" > "Well." > day 3 > hot sales rep comes in with laptop issues > she's 9/10 cougar > all flirty with me > tells me she needs something updated > can only hear her boobs > her laptop smells like straberrys > download adobe reader for her and hand it back Replies: >>537997961>537998938 > this is f------ it, tell me your s-- stories cougar woman and then its on O Anonymous (ID: ZW6G9NJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:36:30 UTC+1 No.537999228 Replies: > "My mouse is acting a bit funny, can I get a new one" >>537999356 >>537999386 >>537999617 >>537999839 Replies: >>538006516 > day 10 > have to set up projector in 1 > cant find a thunderbolt to hdmi cable to hook it up to lazy to go to the store > dont even have a corporate card either > tell the people needing the projector that there's a compatibility issue with macbooks boardroom Anonymous (ID: ZW6G9NJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:33:21 UTC+1 No.538007465 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)23:47:35 UTC+1 No.538017463 > day 16 > one of the mailroom guy's monitors isn't working > it's coming up all green > backstory: there's been a huge misappropriation of funds because I gave him dual monitors just because he's a mentally challenged and I figured if anyone needs 2 screens its him > all he does is look at msn slideshows > and use the fedex webapp or something > he's a nice guy sol actually try and fix it for him > nothings working > think its a driver issue > think its a setting issue Replies: >>537990802>>537996957>>538001173 > day 23 > cougar calls in from the road > she's having trouble accessing a key app for a client on her ipad > she tells me its name > have no idea what it is > but make sure to sound astute > ask her if she's using WIFI or 3G > "How do I check" > "Nevermind let me check from my maincore system" > google the app but nothing comes up > ask one of the other sales people > "oh it's just an infographic on our main site" > tell the hot cougar to come into the office because it's going to require me to hardcode the changes in > she drives 2 hours to come to the office so l can open up Safari and bookmark it to her ipad homepage > they use some guys dellbook > the files from the mac end up not running on the dellbook > call me in mid meeting > all these business people staring at me as l am randomly clicking folders as fast as possible to look like I am pro > download adobe reader > double click files O Anonymous (ID: ZWBGgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:33:46 UTC+1 No.537991024 Replies: >>537991502 >>537992334 >>537996961 >>537999125 >>53799g9236 > day 4 > figure out how to turn off the servers > when people start asking for help > go into server room > turn off servers > come out oblivious and start downloading adobe reader > eventually people start screaming > THE SITES DOWN! THE SITES DOWN! > "I'm on it!" > run back to the server room > play hotline miami in the back for few hours > turn server back on near end of day > come out of server room > wipe brow from face > "I did it.. > people are singing my praises saying i saved the day really just saved the girlfriend in HM > works > "Thanks Anon, you saved me" > think its an actual hardware issue > whole time people are coming to me with real problems but I keep saying "I'll be there in a minute" Replies: >>537999356>>537999386>>537999617>>537999839 O Anonymous (ID: ZWBGgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:44:31 UTC+1 No.538000403 Replies: > after 2 hours the mailroom guy goes > "maybe da pug ish boken" >I swapped out the hdmi cable with a brand new one > it worked >I officially am less adept at my job then a poor mentally challenged guy >>538000602 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:56:07 No.538018694 > day 11 > there's a new hire > no one f------ told me anything > get screamed > go in back to see if we have any spares > there's a few > but there's also some really old pcs from like the early 90's > boot it up > works > set up new person > everything lags > you open adobe reader? massive f------ lag > send out the computer > "it's the best we've got on short notice" > get like 40 sharepoint tickets the first day from that person > he's a real stickler for help > he ends up quitting the very next week saying he can't work under these conditions I'll continue this tomorrow, believe it or not there's an ending to this but I can't get to it today. that theres no computer for this new person > day 24 > people heard from the 45 year old events planner I do house calls > bunch of idiots are bringing in their home computers, mobile devices, anything technical for me to fix > tell people I can only do it after hours and I charge $20 for small stuff and $50 for large. > most of it is simple fixes > windows updates or adobe reader installs fix it > but then I get it > the laptop from hell > this fat indian guy hands me his laptop in a plastic bag, not a laptop bag, a plastic one > "What's wrong with it?" > "You tell me genius" > Load it up and it's asking for some system restore or something. > just hit next and okay > fixes it but it says I need to load chkdisk? > figure that has something to do with the cd drive > open it up > there's a thick f------ layer of bread crumbs in the tray > tilted the machine to its side O Anonymous (ID: ZW6G9NJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:43:12 UTC+1 No.538008829 > day 17 > nice old woman who talks to me about sports tells me her keyboard is s--- > she's oldest person in the office by far > old as dirt > tell her I have just the thing > go in the back and unbox a brand new keyboard meant for the programmers > bring it to the old woman > "You're such a helpful young man" > reach down awkwardly to plug in the new keyboard > get back up and dust pants off > old lady looks like she's having a heart attack > look at the screen > it's f------ blank > on my way back up to my feet I hit the power button > she lost 3 hours of work > 3 hours that old woman will never ever see again Replies: >>5379g91502->537992334>>537996961>>537999125>>537999236 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)20:49:03 UTC+1 No.537992985 Replies: >>537993131 >>537994992 > day 5 > run into cougar at coffee machine > ask her how things are going, just a general statement > instantly thinks im talking shop > starts telling me all the s--- wrong with her computer > she doesn't see me as a human > she sees me as an it > tell her to drop off her laptop > she does > I upgrade her ie > download adobe reader > restart the machine > everythings f------ working > run it back to her > fix my hair > check my breath > act like I saved the day > she's in her office on the phone > she motions to put on her desk >I do. kind of linger > "Is that everything hun?" > leave > hear her say "oh it was just IT" > just IT > that is all am now Replies: >>538000602 > m------------ bread crumbs just pouring out of the laptop > restart the machine > it loads perfectly > turns out the guy was using it as a tray for his morning bagel > f------ toaster laptops O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:54:24 UTC+1 No.538001801 Replies: >>538001991 >>538002151 >538002582 >>538003029 Replies: >>538010343 > day 12 > someones computer crashed > fuuuuuuuuck Anonymous (ID: ZWBGGNJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)18:17:40 No.538013416 > day 18 > company meeting > we're over budget > there has been ridiculous spending > "we've lost money for almost a month." > set up computer > remember something about profiles being saved on the network > go back to the server room > look at the server rack like a total idiot as I try and figure out in my head how this works > tell the guy all his data is lost and there's nothing I can do > "b-b-bbut my project. i have to present that to the board on friday." > "gone, man. It's gone" > play sim theme park the rest of the day > day 18 > almost a month > they are going to out me > IT budget comes up in discussion > we're one of 2 departments that are coming under budget > "Great job Anon. I heard about the server issues here. you're the man" > at the end of the meeting a 45 year old events planner asks me if I fix computers on the side > "Not really. > "Oh.. I have this one blasted thing that needs fixing. You couldn't just come over and fix it?" > b------- > for a laugh | say, "yeah it's cool, just give me your address and l'll be over after work" > not sure if l'm getting sex > buy condoms > she's not that hot like a 6/10 tops > not even going to lie > last call kind of hot > arrive at her house > ring the door bell while standing all suave leaned up against the door > her husband answers the door > shows me to the computer > install the latest version of adobe reader > get $20 > go home Replies: >>537993131>>537994992 Replies: >>538001991>>538002151>>538002582>>538003029 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:07:05 UTC+1 No.537995276 Replies: >>537995863 >537996374 >>537996510 >>538003364 Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)22:09:56 UTC+1 No.538003978 > day 13 > roll up to work an hour late > day 6 > really bored > decide to download a gameboy emulator and play some pokemon > the webfilters blocking it so I turn it off the whole thing I dont just whitelist it, I turn it all off > whole office is in chaos > fallofrome jpg > "HE'S HERE!" > Go in to my office open up mail > dozens of emails like: > "Hey is there something wrong with the server I can't log in to... > "Any idea why the site is down I." > the server is actually down > adobe reader can't save me now > "Just go back there and do what you did last time!" > everyone thinks its an easy solve > literally shaking in the server room because I don't know what to do > nap in server room for entire day > people are p----- can hear them banging on server door > we've missed deadlines > leave at 6:30 pm > the CFO sees me in the parking lot > hes been in a meeting all day doesn't know about my struggles > "You're still here?! That's the kind of can-do attitude | like to see" > get to emulator site but now I need to turn off the antivirus > use the admin which I noww know to do it. > end up turning off the whole antivirus settings on the server > download my emulator and rom > play my game > guy comes into my office > "I think I caught I virus" > me "gotta catch em all" > by the time I'm facing Misty 4 people have viruses Replies: >>537g95863>>537996374>>537996510>>538003364 O Anonymous (ID: ZW6GgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)23:23:20 UTC+1 No.538014162 O Anonymous (ID: ZWBGgnJ3) 03/19/14(Wed)21:12:16 UTC+1 No.537995969 Replies: > day 19 > some guy crashes a program so I have to reinput the settings > go onto his cubiclemates computer > check settings > 2 hours later > "You wrecked my computer. I want my f------ computer back exactly how it was. I don't know what you did but somethings off.my usb drive is buzzing." > w-- > I didn't do s--- to your computer. I checked a program you open 20 times a day > super p----- so I go back into the server room and play Thomas Was Alone > hear knock on server room door > it's the cubiclemate > "Hey, Thanks for fixing it." > "Fixing what?" > "The my usb drive" > I didn't do s--- lol > "Oh yeah. don't mention it" >>537996586 > day 7 > same guy that was yelling at me day 2 is yelling at me > he cant remotely log in just as I am about to leave to go home > "Try turning it off then on again then call me back" > go home Replies: >>538010707 Replies: >>537996586 3/19/2014 - /B/ DOES TECH SUPPORT

Anon does tech support (for those that havent yet read imo the best greentext there is) | /r/Greente...


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View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax
9 Anonymous Sat 02 May 2020 23:09:33 No.24864120 Quoted By: >>24864171 >>24836558 I've had repeated contact with an "alien" visitor or entity since I was a kid. I don't know any other way to explain what I've seen, or what I remember seeing. >be me, little kid >get a drink of water >see bob the builder digging around in my garden through the window >because im just a kid this doesn't phase me somehow, I pop outside to say hi >ask him what he's building >he smiles and says he's making a sandbox for me to play in >next day my dad says he's going to start building a sandbox in the backyard for me and my brothers to play in >thankyoubob.jpg >grow up a bit, don't see bob for many years >one day adults are very worried and all in the TV room talking, I think it was when 9/11 happened >go outside because bored/scared >It's f------ Zoboomafoo from the Kratt brothers swinging on my swingset >But I can tell it's based Bob >sit on the swing next to him, ask where he's been >he points up to the moon and give me a cheeky lemur puppet smile >ask why he's here now >said he wanted to check up on me because some stuff happened >thank him for the sandbox >he laughs and swings away into our tree like a retard until I can't see him anymore >>24864120 >Long time, many years pass with no visits from based bob >begin to think it was all a dream/my imagination >parents think it's a cute story when I tell them >Finally learning to ride a bike >I'm slow at learning things and I really should have learned years ago and I'm still bad at it >Dad always telling me to check both ways before I cross a street, keep forgetting >crossing street back to my house, hear a noise out of nowhere and all of a sudden I'm on the ground >Based bob is wearing an Iron Man suit (The silver one) and has gently lowered me to the ground >my bike is completely mauled to shreds under the car >thankyoubasedbob.jpg >>24864171 Okay, time for a little bit of sad s---. I was trying to keep it light but there's some not so fun stuff in here. My parents abused me and all my siblings when we were growing up. They were pretty religious and crazy about a lot of things, it changed in what aspects over time but they definitely followed the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality. I somehow ended up being the black sheep of the family because I'm kinda slow and stupid and stubborn and I daydream too much. So I got beat way, way more than any of the other kids. Anyway, back to the story. >Dad finds out about accident and destroyed bike >asks if I looked both ways >lied and say I did >he knows I didn't >not sure if he's mad about me being in danger or the bike being f-----, but he's P----- >getting the ass beating of my life >hurts so f------ much and is going on forever, I'm just screaming at this point >Begin to scream and beg for jesus to help me >All of a sudden my dad stops hitting me >cry into the bed for a few minutes before looking back >My dad is frozen in place looking terrified as f--- >It's based bob, hovering in front of him, looking like his OG builder self again >The spoon my dad was using to beat me literally disintegrates into a million pieces >dad's eyes are bulging as his wrist begins to bend backwards >Snapcracklepop.jpg >Bob looks at me >Says he's sorry for not doing something sooner >can almost see tears in his eyes >he floats through the ceiling and f---- off >dad never beats me again If you're watching out there based bob, thanks for the help. come back and visit sometime.
: Anonymous 01/18/25(Sat)02:01:30 No.70051407 ha.png 1.95 MB PNG Who is the best videogame hag?
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