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>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon gets a discount | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/10/12(Tue)12:00 No.146428136 File: 1341936034881.ipg-(42 KB, 431x720, ratty ass pigeon.jpg) t gamestop well heres my only time getting a discount >waking to gamestop eating icecream *pass group of pigeons, none of them run away from me >notice this and walk backwards back to them >they stil dont move grab 1 shes rather con fused and upset >take picture of him while hoiding him >continue to gamestop >go inside >people looking at me holding a really dirty pigeon stell people behind counter that if they dont give me phantasy star universe for the xbox360 for free ill release the pigeon >they try to haggle >i release the pigeon >they beg me to grab it again >they hand me the game and i just walk out and no f---- were given that day. pic related

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Anon doesn’t like lord of the rings. | /r/Greentext

>be fictional a race of people but based on Scandinavian/Celtic mythology going back thousands of years. >canonically live underground and avoid sunlight. 1.71 MB PNG >exist in a world literally based off the English countryside countryside during the medieval time period >queen of these people looks like this. Why do they do this to us?

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anon’s mom resembles a porn actress | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)10:39:35 No.872418507 >mom is a brunette >wants to try something new >dyes her hair blonde >"hey mom, you look good blonde" >"oh thank you, your father says I look like Julia Ann, but I don't know who she is, is she some some celebrity?" >"erm...yea...she is an actress" >asks me to download her a movie or two with this Julia Ann in it because she is now interested what the f--- dad

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)18:22:49 No.67370218 >be me >Zoom class yesterday >Precalc II >Talking about transformations of sine and cosine >instructor (who is a woman) says so this is what's called a horizontal 190 KB JPG stretch >mumble to myself "I'd like to give her p---- a horizontal stretch" >look down >mic is open Should I just ghost the class? It's too late to drop for a refund, or should I just pretend nothing happened and just chad 'yes' it if someone confronts me?

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Where everyone knows your name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)17:28:47 No.67374299 >be me >shy, no friends >tired of it Ouch! >say f--- it >go to bar >talk to no one except the 83 KB JPG bartender >come home >proud that I tried Thanks for reading my blog post

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Anon predicts gymcels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)14:11:57 No.67369130 TNT OHNY BRAVO gymcope.jpg 112 KB JPG How did this show predict gymcels so accurately? What did they know? Watching it growing up I was confused when Johnny was rejected by every girl he went for but now I get it 15 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets ignored | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49017876 1 hr. ago >ask classmates online if we'll have a class today >ignored 151.9 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 49017930 1 hr. ago >relying on others That's where you f----- up

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Anon makes a good point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)10:21:25 No.872425530 marijuana-454601963-resized- 569fd2345f9b58eba4ad583d.jpg 140 KB JPG Why is this stuff as legal as it is? >a leading cause for addiction >destroys your body and mind >tears families apart >can land you in a hospital very easily >people drive while on it and kill other people all the time >domestic violence is high in numbers with its users >hurts the economy by spending 249 billion a year in the US on treatment for the side effects it causes every year >3 million deaths per year world wide and nobody even cares >l just don't get why booze is still legal >pic unrelated

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Anon doesn’t shower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6XZOA/Vb) = 02/10/22(Thu)14:35:13 No.360556791 I havent showered in 10 months results: >zero blemishes, blackheads, pimples >bald spot on my scalp actually - regrowing- in 202 KB JPG >mosquitos and bugs dont bite me anymore first month was rough and smelled like a carcass and itched. after that, i felt like a beast of nature in equilibrium hence. skin just flakes off naturally, i think the thicker dermis contributes to bug invulnerabilty. humans are mostly hairless animals, not scrubbing the skin daily seems to allow it to work how its intended to. people say i just smell like nothing now, probably good for bears not picking up scent and whatnot. feels based. thats all i have to report for now. Is soap tax a must?

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Anon reads his life’s terms and conditions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Anon doesn't know how to follow his beliefs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)15:19:20 No.872415511 Guys I need help. So I truly believe in white supremacy and in my heart of hearts I know it's the right thing and nothing would make me happier than being a Nazi but the problem is I'm black and a f--. What do I do? $5 31 KB JPG 26 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon is a doctor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Greentext Stories - Anon plays Xenoblade Chronicles 2 with his grandpa | /r/Greentext

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>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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