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Anonymous 12/01/13(Sun)20:40:37 No.519059320 File: 1385948437099.jpg-(146 KB, 1080x1028, 1364342206417.jpg) >be me >virgin 15 years old >go get some with this older slut 17- 18 >just me and her in a room at a party >everything is going just as expected >she asks me if i want to f--- her yes.gif >puts condom on my d--- >gets on her hands and knees imgonnadoitdoggy.png >i begin to f--- her >going in and out, it feels amazing >do this for a long time >cant hold much longer >"so will you put it in or not?" >MFW i was just f------ her thighs >MFW i get nervous and lose my hardon >MFW this was the worst experience of my life Replies: >>519059849>>519060250>>519060817

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon breaks into a house | /r/Greentext

File: noided jpg (31 KB, 400x600) I Anonymous 04/13/19(Sat)12:36:53 No.51917888 >>51918171 >51919232 >be me >often break into people's homes >there is this one night ill never f------ regret >i approach one of the windows in complete black at 11PM >summer time so completely pitch blackness outside >i gently pry open the window with a crowbar and slice open the screen with a pocket knife >i crawi inside and sneak into the kitchen which leads to the living room >immediately their dog sees me >ohshit.webm >it's about to bark >while internally panicking i knock over a vase accidentally >dog growls at me >alarm goes off >must have motion sensors >i belt out the stupidest s--- i could have possibly said This is the sequence of sounds that happened. >"glass breaks* >alarm goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >i yell "THERE'S A F----- DOG IN HERE" >mfw i'm basically noided

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Anon Meets Peter Griffin | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)23:54:22 No.31124711 2231124730 >>31124779 >>31125167 >>31125185 >>31125219 >>31125291 >31125301 >>31125417 >>31125538 >>31125569 >>31125655 >>31125720 >31125760 A month ago I discovered family guy through family guy funny moments and decided to watch the whole series. I have no money for any s----- streaming service so I had to use some random pirate website, probably got a virus on my computer or whatever. I watched the whole seasons and couldn't stop thinking about the show. Yesterday I started receiving emails from someone pretending to be Peter, I blocked the account after like 5 messages but this person just won't stop, and by the fourth alt account he started threatening my family, he got my ip somehow and an hour ago he sent me a photo of my house from google maps with the message "heheheheheheh hey anon, remember the time I set a house on fire?" Fellas what should I do about this l'm about to loose my mind

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Anon wants dudes to be slaves | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 7kTuOitw 51 minutes ago 1643900754396s.jpg (6.1 KB, 250x207) 369643945 DUDE JUST BE A SLAVE >DUDE JUST SLAVE AWAY AT A 9-5 JOB FOR 40 YEARS TO MAKE JEWISH BOOMERS RICHER, SINGLE MOTHERS AND F--- AND BLACK APES STRONGER, AND DIVERSITY MORE POWERFUL AND EVERLASTING >DUDE JUST DO ALL OF SAID ABOVE SIMPLY BECAUSE SAID JEWS STARTED FROM BEING MERCHANTS IN THE ROMAN EMPIRE, PLAGUED THEIR WAY TO THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE AND EVERY SUBSEQUENT CIVILIZATION, SUCCESSFULLY GOT AWAY WITH LYING ABOUT A MASOCHISTIC FAIRYTALE AKA THE HOLOCAUST, THEN GAVE MINORITIES RIGHTS SO THEY COULD THEN MAKE DIVERSITY COMPANIES PROFITABLE AND POPULAR THROUGH BLACKROCK INVESTMENT FUNDS AND DESTROY FAMILY UNITY DUDE JUST BE A SLAVE 7 REPLIES

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Anon says thanks | /r/Greentext

ITT; cringe >be me >gf ordered Indian food >really happy for it to arrive >knock at door 71 KB JPG >l open the door >old man hands me small plastic bag of food "enjoy your food" >MFW "you too" >close door fast >spend entire time eating food with ptsd flashbacks about what I said

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Anon's dad found the gigachad folder | /r/Greentext

File: 5NH3UON.png (494 KB, 819x716) Anonymous 04/18/19(Thu)16:2 >dad found my gigachad folder Anonymous 04/18/19(Thu) >>52000432 (OP) lal realiy une worst olc iwouldlbehorified if he fo hie foldere for 3 vears LAnonvmous 04/18/19(Thu)

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Anon tries to be funny | /r/Greentext

File: srers.png (8 KB, 509x619) Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)18:17:28 No.67957033 [Reply] ► »67958420 >>67958430 >can't forget when I tried to be funny by playing 'DERP SONG 10 HOURS' on a school computer on a max volume

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Anon is an orbiter | /r/Greentext

No.10538194 04/10/19(Wed)09:36:07 wojak electron.png PNG 109.8 KIB 1200x816 My fav /sci/ pasta coming through >tfw electron >personally far away from vacuum energy state, i have a lot of potential but don't have the energy to activate it >be usual smart but lazy lepton >my parents keep telling me to "just tunnel through, champ" >don't understand that the quark epoch is over and you can't just walk into an atom and expect the nucleus to hand you a quantum state anymore >dad forces me to go volunteer at local hydrogen cluster >get bullied by chadrons nonstop. >don't resist because my actions are governed by weak interaction >be K-captureless virgin, never even saw an electron neutrino in my life before >see cute baryon hanging out with her friends. >solid +1/1 charge. most particles around me barely pass for +1/3 >mentally picture her performing electron capture on me >think about life together as a neutron >try to talk to her, too intimidated by her electric field so i don't make any moves >tfw occupying her 1s orbital. too dumb to realize i'm just an orbiting beta particle to her >suddenly huge ass carbon atom comes in >literally instant chemistry with my oneitis proton girl, she forms an MO with him instantly >he's not good to her at all. he's bonded with 3 other protons in a f------ hydrocarbon while he's seeing her >bonds are weak singular but being a f------ organic molecule everyone wants him. my baryonic love is f------ replaceable to him, but i know she's just going to fall for a metal ion or something afterwards >it's not f------ fair i'm considering just accelerating into a positron and annihilating myself at this point

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Anon gets nervous for a photo shoot | /r/Greentext

O File: 84629a2f28590fd6ab8dc1ef0(.).jpg (18 KB, 236x333) Confession Thread Anonymous 04/02/19(Tue)16:39:19 No.10140024 Ready? I'm starting. >cosplaying 2B >plan this photoshoot with a photographer you just met in a remote place >really cool place tbh, just really far away from any civilisation >start shooting and it goes great >exceptnot.jpg >the thing is I'm on my period >15 minutes in and I feel overflowing my pad an bleeding to my legs is no bathrooms or anywhere I can change my pad >my white panty is now red >thankfully we are not doing any butt shots >it's too early to finish shooting but I'm scared that blood will be too much and reach my lower legs where skirt doesn't cover >to add sprinkles I can't see very well with visor thingy and this guy has a camera start subtly complaining about how tired I am >which is not a lie because period cramps >it tooks 20 minutes of complaining to convince him it's enough >which I feel about because the photographer was also excited about this shoot >l get home and take off everything >my panty is all red, my skirt lining is almost covered in blood But I think he didn't notice. I was stressed to hell though. Now I'm too scared to plan photoshoots in cool places.

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anon is a karma whore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)17:21:26 No.875209883 >be me >redditfag >come on here to karma w---- >make up a fake story about getting T-boned >10k upvotes 39 KB JPG >mfw

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Anon doesn't like people in wheelchairs | /r/Greentext

875189881 Anonymous 31 minutes ago frustrated-robert-downey-jr.gif (398.2 KB, 220x220) > be me > Krogering > got my haul, using self check out, register Bot bitch pissing me off > I usually start laughing WEN U TRYING NOT TO LAUGH.... when I get frustrated > hear excessively loud and escalating in tone screaming > aaaaahhhhhhAAAAAaaaaa hhhhAAAAAАAAAAAAAAАА НННННЕЕЕЕЕЕ > da f--.jpg > look around, retard in wheel chair having an episode, handler trying to calm it down > handler is probably the retards mother, she has the look of just exasperation on her face > this look says she long ago gave up actually giving a f--- and slowly plots the right time to kill her cursed abominable hell spawn > know damn well if she weren't in public she would have smacked the ever loving f--- out of the retard and locked him in the sound proof room she had specially built to house him and drown out his retarded episodes > mfw the entire time, me getting frustrated with the self check out coupled with this event that just unfolded It's OK, lads, you can let me have it, I know, I'm a terrible person.

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You Would not Believe Your Eyes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)15:13:46 No.875200601 >be me >yesterday >aboard plane, I'm visiting some family the next state over >We take flight around 5 AM >Most people on the plane are asleep, and it's pitch black outside 516 KB PNG >Time passes, and we're now above the clouds >Then I see it >l see a beautiful ocean of stars >l've always lived in the city, so this is completely new to me >All while I'm listening to emotional music >l begin to tear up, I've never felt this way before >l've been through a lot these past months, so much horrible things have happened >And yet, the stars calmed me Life is beautiful, bros. It's the little things that can save you.

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Anon relates to his abusive father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)09:53:02 No.67956092 >Relating more and more to my abusive father What's happening to me? 499 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)09:55:18 No.67956107 Desu wa ne 38 KB JPG : not op 03/27/22(Sun)09:55:28 No.67956113 >>67956092 (OP) # you growing up bobby | Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)10:00:04 No.67956167 >>67956092 (OP) # My German countrymen, men and women, (long pause) Changes of Government have occurred frequently in history, and in the history of our people. It is certain, however, that never was a change of Government attended with such far- reaching results as that eight years ago. At that time the situation of the Reich was desperate. We

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Greentext Stories - Anon reminiscing about his first time | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 12/01/13(Sun)20:40:37 No.519059320 File: 1385948437099.jpg-(146 KB, 1080x1028, 1364342206417.jpg) >be me >virgin 15 years old >go get some with this older slut 17- 18 >just me and her in a room at a party >everything is going just as expected >she asks me if i want to f--- her yes.gif >puts condom on my d--- >gets on her hands and knees imgonnadoitdoggy.png >i begin to f--- her >going in and out, it feels amazing >do this for a long time >cant hold much longer >"so will you put it in or not?" >MFW i was just f------ her thighs >MFW i get nervous and lose my hardon >MFW this was the worst experience of my life Replies: >>519059849>>519060250>>519060817

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