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Greentext Stories - anon learns about sneeze guards | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)11:49:10 Screen Shot 2022-08-11 at(...).png No.883706551 ✓ (1.24 MB, 1462x1202) google yandex iqdb wait >be me >homeschooled so no experience with school facilities >go to church summer camp for a week >stand in line for lunch at the cafeteria, food served in long tables with plastic coverings like pic related >my retarded self asks the camp counselor what the plastic is for >counselor laughs and says jokingly "they're sneeze guards, anon! that way you can sneeze freely and the food doesn't get covered with snot!" >counselor is only half serious but I consider this a great discovery >determined to test efficacy of sneeze guard >before next meal intentionally make my nose itchy by picking out nose hairs in the bathroom >hang back towards the end of the line so I can take my time building up a sneeze >S art down the line, grabbing food >reach the mac and cheese and finally feel a sneeze coming on >let loose with a monster "achoo!" right onto the sneeze guard >huge pile of snot and mucus shoots on to the glass and starts sliding slowly down the slope >immediately realize what a retarded move this was and look around in shame >group of girls behind me freezes mid-conversation and looks at me like I killed a baby >mutter "it's the sneeze guard, that's what it's for" >slink away before more people notice >finish meal, walk out, notice that kitchen staff is wiping and bleaching glass and that's how I learned you're not supposed to sneeze in the buffet line

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