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Left HR DEPARTMENT EMAIL SPAMMER LADDER CLIMBER It's their job to enforce absolute fairness Manipulates, cheats, lies, gaslights, dominates, and harasses his way to power THE UNIONIZER Trying to get the workplace to unionize although wages are ok and there are no grounds for it Makes a point to talk about how feminist she is But they absolutely pick favorites You get the feeling they kind of enjoy disciplining people Threatens to sue every time he gets a paper cut Thinks the US is fascist and he's tortured because he has to work 40 hours a week GIRLBOSS Clothes and backpack are covered in socialist pins Unsure of how he still works here ACES Makes sure every conversation comes back to her Wears "yes she can" merch and such Naturally clumsy, eventually gets actually injured, quits, and settles with the company for $100,000 You know the name of her uncle's best friend's dog by now Wonder how she does any work at all THE SHARER Brings in cookies, cupcakes, brownies for everyone Astounding creativity and dedication No money necessary, doing it out of kindness Kiss The Cook DRAMA MAGNET Openly cries at work every other day Sends unsolicited emails calling out individual performance and copying the entire office Emotionally unstable 3 failed relationships with coworkers BRAND CHEERLEADER Way, way too excited about the company Buys merch with his own money and constantly sending messages in the group chat about company updates JAQ When people complain about it he gets entitled and angry Management loves his enthusiasm but everyone else hates him Two best friends constantly gossiping about workplace drama Central American migrant, works very hard before the place opens and after it closes When you're not as excited as him he reports you to HR for defeatism WORKERS' COMP THE JANITOR SINGLE MOTHER MAGNET Looks like crap This is her third job, she works 70 hours/week They're also politically left and they use work time to campaign for Democratic candidates SHEMAL You know for a fact that if anyone tried campaigning for Republicans it would be shut down immediately HOOD BY AIR PYREX He's friendly and you have small conversations Talks publicly about her diet every day, wonders why she can't lose weight But for no good reason everyone pretends like he's subhuman But she's on a constant IV of Pepsi whenever she's at her desk POLITICAL GOSSIP LEGAL COUNSEL JUST DIVORCED His job is to protect the company from lawsuits You have mandatory meetings where he drones on about the code of conduct Everything unfortunate seems to happen to him but he bears it silently THE STORYTELLER PERPETUAL DIET DISORGANIZED DESK Old takeout boxes, 5-minute water cooler conversations turn into 30 THE FASHION STATEMENT Every two days is a "cheat day" and she pigs out on takeout Authoritarian THE BULLY Makes passive-aggressive comments to everyone Comes into work wearing $2,000 of designer clothing Nobody cares You suspect he's an actual psychopath TIMECLOCK ANARCHIST Clocks in, goes on a two- hour break, sneaks back in and hopes nobody noticed You admire his stealthiness and confidence but he's definitely about to get caught Goes from entry-level to upper management in under 3 years MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Upper management piles all the bitch work onto them random papers, receipts from 2019 everywhere They do it and try to complain, but get shot down Never leave middle management, ever Every couple months comes around with a new vague document to sign You hear whispered phone calls to the babysitter begging her to stay Everyone feels bad but there's nothing they can do They claim there's a method to their madness but there's also a smell coming from a drawer that's beginning to be a problem "IS ANYONE ELSE COLD?" Perpetually wrapped in a blanket, space heater by her desk No matter how the thermostat is adjusted she's always cold and will make sure everyone knows it Nothing that could get him fired, but you get the general impression that he dislikes you Has worked here for 8 weeks and is already talking about quitting THE PERFECTIONIST Spends an hour showering, shaving, and otherwise grooming himself every day Has never spent more than six months at any job Black hole of despair Keeps his workstation immaculately clean Despises when people are unhygienic Makes dark jokes by the water cooler and I'm concerned he's going to do it this time Has an average number of friends and is neurotypical THE EYE CANDY Extremely attractive, the girls blatantly hit on him If the sexes were reversed it would be an HR nightmare Sc how he spends 12-20 hours in the gym atop his job THE TEMP 22 years old Technically not even working here, hired as an "independent contractor" Nobody bothers to learn his name and he's gone after 3 months, then another one comes in SECURITY Stand in the lobby and drink coffee all day Honestly everyone could get away with it, the job isn't that hard Have either been retired from the police for decades or couldn't even make the force Has a standing desk and drinks protein shakes with lunch. Think they're going to stop a EFFICIENCY MACHINE Constantly at his desk, just plowing through work Does way more work than anyone else and gets rewarded for it, but doesn't appear to care workplace shooting one day HEALTH NUT Does bodyweights on the ground, the grunting is annoying Libertarian Will keep working until he's in the black again HERE FOR THE PAYCHECK Has no interest in making friends Clocks in at exactly 9 and out at exactly 5 Is clearly here just for the money THE PRODUCT THE JOB-HOPPER HIGH AT WORK FRIDGE THIEF Slow reaction time, red eyes, obviously stoned TESTER Paid to mess with the company products I'm envious because it looks like they're just playing with toys Always happy THE INDIVIDUALIST THE INVESTOR THE SECRETARY THE ILLUSIONIST Bought 1,000 shares Stock is down Comes from a Does her work 15% since then Shows up and does his job, doesn't get involved in workplace drama trad family, of the company when he started working there but he has bagholder optimism professionally and quiet and shy doesn't really make friends "Those labels mean nothing, I'm going to steal" He took my grandma's f------ cobbler smh UPPER MANAGEMENT IT DEPARTMENT Never seen them around the office and when I do, they're not doing work but socializing instead Reason there's a camera in the kitchen now Last ones in, first ones out (with their golf bags) They make 5x as much as me and do half the work presents at conferences You can tell doesn't enjoy his life THE STATISTICIAN THE CONSULTANT On top of his regular work he has to make charts about the company Halfheartedly ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT I look into their eyes and I can't see any soul Spend their entire day staring at spreadsheets She doesn't drink so no happy hour PERPETUAL VACATION Has definitely used way more than his allotted vacation time But he's friends with upper management so they make exceptions. Bragging about his trip to South Africa. currently MARKETING DEPARTMENT Flamboyant and obnoxious Tests slogans on you as he passes your desk Bans no-no websites that hinder productivity Growing annoying Bootlickers for upper management HAPPY HOUR FIEND Always inviting He might actually everyone out to drinks be an alcoholic Hungover as f--- on the 5th of July Can't solve your computer issues though! Hired to streamline efficiency Which is a euphemism for "purge the lazy" Relish firings THE JESUS FREAK Has an icon and Bible quotes on his desk Got married at age 20 Seems extremely happy with his life Spends the entire day away from his desk, mostly slow-milling around the office and talking to everyone I have no clue how he gets away with it and I envy the hell out of him THE CONTRACTOR Comes in and out of the workplace Nobody's sure what he does but he's friendly enough Probably makes more than me CORPORATE ESPIONAGE Has been working here for a few months but keeps mostly to himself He takes pictures of his screen and documents a lot He used to work for a competitor and there are rumors he still does THE SLACKER Everytime I pass his desk he's playing a flash game Has been called into HR multiple times and will definitely get fired momentarily Right

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Coworkers I have/have had (and maybe you too) 7x7 wojak compass | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes


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Authoritarian The immortal science of materialist Christianity made the master race dialectics is the only permitted world view. weak. Islam in particular must be destroyed. Economic- Left Imagine caring about anything. Economic- Right Sorry, but religion is, like, the patriarchy, sweetie. Slaves of the Archons Wanna buy a brain chip? Or at least a bottle of corn syrup? Libertarian Servants of the Aeons I hate the antichrist!
How is order maintained and the issue of economic scarcity dealt with? Authoritarian Government & Government Property Rights Economic- Left Economic- Right IDK (It's going to be a government) Property Rights Libertarian
LIBERTE EGALITE FRATERNITE FRATERNITE EGALITE LIBERTE
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Political Compass - Coworkers I have/have had (and maybe you too) 7x7 wojak compass | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Left HR DEPARTMENT EMAIL SPAMMER LADDER CLIMBER It's their job to enforce absolute fairness Manipulates, cheats, lies, gaslights, dominates, and harasses his way to power THE UNIONIZER Trying to get the workplace to unionize although wages are ok and there are no grounds for it Makes a point to talk about how feminist she is But they absolutely pick favorites You get the feeling they kind of enjoy disciplining people Threatens to sue every time he gets a paper cut Thinks the US is fascist and he's tortured because he has to work 40 hours a week GIRLBOSS Clothes and backpack are covered in socialist pins Unsure of how he still works here ACES Makes sure every conversation comes back to her Wears "yes she can" merch and such Naturally clumsy, eventually gets actually injured, quits, and settles with the company for $100,000 You know the name of her uncle's best friend's dog by now Wonder how she does any work at all THE SHARER Brings in cookies, cupcakes, brownies for everyone Astounding creativity and dedication No money necessary, doing it out of kindness Kiss The Cook DRAMA MAGNET Openly cries at work every other day Sends unsolicited emails calling out individual performance and copying the entire office Emotionally unstable 3 failed relationships with coworkers BRAND CHEERLEADER Way, way too excited about the company Buys merch with his own money and constantly sending messages in the group chat about company updates JAQ When people complain about it he gets entitled and angry Management loves his enthusiasm but everyone else hates him Two best friends constantly gossiping about workplace drama Central American migrant, works very hard before the place opens and after it closes When you're not as excited as him he reports you to HR for defeatism WORKERS' COMP THE JANITOR SINGLE MOTHER MAGNET Looks like crap This is her third job, she works 70 hours/week They're also politically left and they use work time to campaign for Democratic candidates SHEMAL You know for a fact that if anyone tried campaigning for Republicans it would be shut down immediately HOOD BY AIR PYREX He's friendly and you have small conversations Talks publicly about her diet every day, wonders why she can't lose weight But for no good reason everyone pretends like he's subhuman But she's on a constant IV of Pepsi whenever she's at her desk POLITICAL GOSSIP LEGAL COUNSEL JUST DIVORCED His job is to protect the company from lawsuits You have mandatory meetings where he drones on about the code of conduct Everything unfortunate seems to happen to him but he bears it silently THE STORYTELLER PERPETUAL DIET DISORGANIZED DESK Old takeout boxes, 5-minute water cooler conversations turn into 30 THE FASHION STATEMENT Every two days is a "cheat day" and she pigs out on takeout Authoritarian THE BULLY Makes passive-aggressive comments to everyone Comes into work wearing $2,000 of designer clothing Nobody cares You suspect he's an actual psychopath TIMECLOCK ANARCHIST Clocks in, goes on a two- hour break, sneaks back in and hopes nobody noticed You admire his stealthiness and confidence but he's definitely about to get caught Goes from entry-level to upper management in under 3 years MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Upper management piles all the bitch work onto them random papers, receipts from 2019 everywhere They do it and try to complain, but get shot down Never leave middle management, ever Every couple months comes around with a new vague document to sign You hear whispered phone calls to the babysitter begging her to stay Everyone feels bad but there's nothing they can do They claim there's a method to their madness but there's also a smell coming from a drawer that's beginning to be a problem "IS ANYONE ELSE COLD?" Perpetually wrapped in a blanket, space heater by her desk No matter how the thermostat is adjusted she's always cold and will make sure everyone knows it Nothing that could get him fired, but you get the general impression that he dislikes you Has worked here for 8 weeks and is already talking about quitting THE PERFECTIONIST Spends an hour showering, shaving, and otherwise grooming himself every day Has never spent more than six months at any job Black hole of despair Keeps his workstation immaculately clean Despises when people are unhygienic Makes dark jokes by the water cooler and I'm concerned he's going to do it this time Has an average number of friends and is neurotypical THE EYE CANDY Extremely attractive, the girls blatantly hit on him If the sexes were reversed it would be an HR nightmare Sc how he spends 12-20 hours in the gym atop his job THE TEMP 22 years old Technically not even working here, hired as an "independent contractor" Nobody bothers to learn his name and he's gone after 3 months, then another one comes in SECURITY Stand in the lobby and drink coffee all day Honestly everyone could get away with it, the job isn't that hard Have either been retired from the police for decades or couldn't even make the force Has a standing desk and drinks protein shakes with lunch. Think they're going to stop a EFFICIENCY MACHINE Constantly at his desk, just plowing through work Does way more work than anyone else and gets rewarded for it, but doesn't appear to care workplace shooting one day HEALTH NUT Does bodyweights on the ground, the grunting is annoying Libertarian Will keep working until he's in the black again HERE FOR THE PAYCHECK Has no interest in making friends Clocks in at exactly 9 and out at exactly 5 Is clearly here just for the money THE PRODUCT THE JOB-HOPPER HIGH AT WORK FRIDGE THIEF Slow reaction time, red eyes, obviously stoned TESTER Paid to mess with the company products I'm envious because it looks like they're just playing with toys Always happy THE INDIVIDUALIST THE INVESTOR THE SECRETARY THE ILLUSIONIST Bought 1,000 shares Stock is down Comes from a Does her work 15% since then Shows up and does his job, doesn't get involved in workplace drama trad family, of the company when he started working there but he has bagholder optimism professionally and quiet and shy doesn't really make friends "Those labels mean nothing, I'm going to steal" He took my grandma's f------ cobbler smh UPPER MANAGEMENT IT DEPARTMENT Never seen them around the office and when I do, they're not doing work but socializing instead Reason there's a camera in the kitchen now Last ones in, first ones out (with their golf bags) They make 5x as much as me and do half the work presents at conferences You can tell doesn't enjoy his life THE STATISTICIAN THE CONSULTANT On top of his regular work he has to make charts about the company Halfheartedly ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT I look into their eyes and I can't see any soul Spend their entire day staring at spreadsheets She doesn't drink so no happy hour PERPETUAL VACATION Has definitely used way more than his allotted vacation time But he's friends with upper management so they make exceptions. Bragging about his trip to South Africa. currently MARKETING DEPARTMENT Flamboyant and obnoxious Tests slogans on you as he passes your desk Bans no-no websites that hinder productivity Growing annoying Bootlickers for upper management HAPPY HOUR FIEND Always inviting He might actually everyone out to drinks be an alcoholic Hungover as f--- on the 5th of July Can't solve your computer issues though! Hired to streamline efficiency Which is a euphemism for "purge the lazy" Relish firings THE JESUS FREAK Has an icon and Bible quotes on his desk Got married at age 20 Seems extremely happy with his life Spends the entire day away from his desk, mostly slow-milling around the office and talking to everyone I have no clue how he gets away with it and I envy the hell out of him THE CONTRACTOR Comes in and out of the workplace Nobody's sure what he does but he's friendly enough Probably makes more than me CORPORATE ESPIONAGE Has been working here for a few months but keeps mostly to himself He takes pictures of his screen and documents a lot He used to work for a competitor and there are rumors he still does THE SLACKER Everytime I pass his desk he's playing a flash game Has been called into HR multiple times and will definitely get fired momentarily Right

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Uploaded Aug 25, 2022 at 06:24PM EDT

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Political Compass

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